"Destiny"

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

My best friend is pregnant, and I really want to support her, but she is seriously considering naming her daughter this and I just... It seems awfully trashy to me. Her family and aquaintences like it, but that doesn't surprise me seeing as how she lives in a super white trash housing complex. I really want to convince her that naming her kid something like "Destiny" "Kaighlee" or "Mercedes" etc. will NOT be doing the poor girl any favours. But at the same time, I really don't want to seem pretentious? 

It's not that, I just know that name descrimination is real, and I don't want my best friend's little girl to be held back in life because she thinks it "sounds cute". Should I just butt out? I keep suggesting alternatives but I don't know. Maybe I should just leave it alone.

Oh, and sorry if anyone here happens to love that name, or named their daughter that!

Comments

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Yes, you should butt out.
Destiny may not live up to your standards, but it's a perfectly acceptable name. I honestly don't think a name like that will face much resume discrimination, if any. It's not like she's naming the kid any of those racist urban legends names.

I know it was not your intent, but calling your friend (or your friends loved ones) "white trash" speaks more on your upbringing than hers....

[schexyschteve.livejournal.com]

Also this. So much classism in the post.

[the-pyre.livejournal.com]

Devil's Advocate:

Classism exists, it's real.

I think the OP has good intentions, and yeah, a name like Destiny can be indicative of someone's class- whether it's real or perceived.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

This is what I'm trying to say. I don't think my friend is white trash, although she does live in a white trash neighbourhood. I don't know what else you would call a bunch of people living on welfare with 5 kids they all had under the age of 25 in a run down, cockroach infested building, while spending all their government money on cigarettes and booze and going out to "party" every night leaving their kids to fend for themselves. I'm not going to lie and say those people are classy, because they're not. If it offends someone, so be it. I'm not going to act like I approve of that sort of lifestyle.

[the-pyre.livejournal.com]

Yeaaah you lost me here.

[satunian.livejournal.com]

I totally knew people were going to be offended by the "white trash" comment but seriously - being white trash is a reflection more of behavior and choices (as opposed to something someone was naturally born with - you're not calling them white trash JUST BECAUSE they're in a lower economic class), and I personally make no apologies for judging people based on behavior. That's earned judgement. Just my two cents, but you have my support here.

[deer-lanterns.livejournal.com]

I like you. I'm tired of people being so PC that they can't point out something truthful.

[spaceandclouds.livejournal.com]

YES! I completely agree with you. There's a difference between unnecessarily offending people or just pointing out a fact. Political correctness goes a little too far sometimes.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

thank you! just like you said, i fully believe rich people can be trashy too. just look at lindsay lohan :)

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

I read a research paper somewhere saying that because classism does exist, there is evidence to suggest that people with names associated with "lower classes" are discriminated against by teachers and in the job market. If those findings are accurate, I guess there is reason to want a kid to have a name that gives them the greatest chances in life.

My neice's friend got pregnant at 16 and liked the name Summer, but wanted it to be quirky, and called her "Summa". I can't tell you how many people hear her name and go "Haha, was your mum a teenage mother by any chance?". It's a bit unpleasant for Summa.

[summer-mommy.livejournal.com]

Bahaha!

[satunian.livejournal.com]

Perfect example. White trash extraordinaire.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Just because it exists doesn't mean we should shrug our shoulders when we encounter it. I don't think the OP intended to come off in the way she did, but I hope next time she will take a step back and realize a person's worth is not tied to their economic status when making comments about names, neighborhoods, etc.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

I didn't say she was white trash. I said she lives in a white trash housing complex, and she does. Almost everyone there is a single mother under the age of 25, usually with 3 or more kids. None of them have jobs, they're all a bunch of high school dropouts who spend all of their welfare money on alcohol and cigarettes. If I have a lousy upbringing because I think people like that are trashy, then fine.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm confused why you would be best friends with someone you think so poorly of.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Again, I don't. She was born into that sort of situation. Just because she lives there doesn't make her like the rest of those people. Even if she dropped out of school, she has her own sort of intelligence. Anyways, I'm not here to discuss "friendship between classes". We make it work. We've been best friends for 10 years, even though we grew up in extremely different circumstances.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Don't you get it? It's only different with her because you know her.
All the other people you're calling "white trash" are in similar situations. They ALL have stories and reasons for their placein the world as I'm sure your friend does.
Calling people trashy is just not appropriate. You don't know these people. You don't know how hard they work or what knocks life has dealt them. Fine. Judge them. But when you're so vocal about it, at least be self aware enouh to know that others are judging YOU by the attitude you exhibit with the words you choose to use. It is not a positive or "classy" impression, FYI!

[the-pyre.livejournal.com]

Are you one of those people that think that food stamps buy alcohol and cigarettes?

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

I live in Toronto. They actually send you money here ( a check you cash, actually)..we don't have the "food stamp" system. They don't keep track of what you do with it either, because I know quite a few people who spend their monthly welfare checks on drugs.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Oh and it's not just me. A lot of people think that way about this name. Just a few of the less than kind comments on a babyname message board. (and the majority of the comments were negative.)

"I know some of you think it's a really cute idea to use this name, but just take a moment to imagine that your daugter will, indeed, live past the age of 17. Now, I bet you haven't even considered such a wild idea as this, but try to imagine that your daughter might even want to get a higher education, a well-paying job, and a high position in life. If this is, indeed, her name, it will make her seem somewhat uneducated, superstitious (the name itself is a clear statement of that), and immature, as it doesn't suit a grown woman at all. The name sounds like a tacky pseudonym, and it's not even original anymore."

"This name is tacky and low-class."

"Cheap, common and trashy."

Simply naming your child 'Destiny' may not be enough to show how trashy and poorly educated you are. Why not name her DesT'Nee or Desstynii to really show them?"

So you can think I'm a bitch for thinking it, but realize there are tons of other people with the same opinion as me. People who could be deciding between a "Destiny" and a "Marie" for a job interview, and who do you think they'll pick?

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Well if other people on message boards say so....

Hey! Guess what? I don't really like he name either. My posts hae not been about the name, but about your terrible classist attitude.
Guess what else? I never called you a bitch, but these posts kind of make you look like an asshole!

[cerceau.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter what you or anonymous stranger on the internet think though. Only your friend's, and possibly the child's father's, opinion matters. What the name is is irrelevant; beyond voicing your opinion once or maybe a few times, unless your friend asks you, it's none of your business what she names the kid.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

she has asked me. she said my opinion is really important to her. i'm going to be the godmother, and the baby's dad is not in the picture at all.