"Destiny"

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

My best friend is pregnant, and I really want to support her, but she is seriously considering naming her daughter this and I just... It seems awfully trashy to me. Her family and aquaintences like it, but that doesn't surprise me seeing as how she lives in a super white trash housing complex. I really want to convince her that naming her kid something like "Destiny" "Kaighlee" or "Mercedes" etc. will NOT be doing the poor girl any favours. But at the same time, I really don't want to seem pretentious? 

It's not that, I just know that name descrimination is real, and I don't want my best friend's little girl to be held back in life because she thinks it "sounds cute". Should I just butt out? I keep suggesting alternatives but I don't know. Maybe I should just leave it alone.

Oh, and sorry if anyone here happens to love that name, or named their daughter that!

Comments

[schexyschteve.livejournal.com]

I really dislike the name Destiny, but it could be worse. It could be Kaighlee.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Yes, you should butt out.
Destiny may not live up to your standards, but it's a perfectly acceptable name. I honestly don't think a name like that will face much resume discrimination, if any. It's not like she's naming the kid any of those racist urban legends names.

I know it was not your intent, but calling your friend (or your friends loved ones) "white trash" speaks more on your upbringing than hers....

[schexyschteve.livejournal.com]

Also this. So much classism in the post.

[invisiblepet.livejournal.com]

Might just be personal name association. I don't think Destiny is trashy sounding at all. I have known a few and none of them were 'trashy'.

[irishjewel413.livejournal.com]

I agree with you and your view on the name but I would butt out. People have been picking on my name choices throughout my pregnancy..someone always has to say why I shouldn't name my baby this or that and it makes me mad-my dad's opinion on my baby's set name is the funniest-Faith is a name drug addicts name their babies! Oh well, I like it and that's all that matters..

[the-pyre.livejournal.com]

Devil's Advocate:

Classism exists, it's real.

I think the OP has good intentions, and yeah, a name like Destiny can be indicative of someone's class- whether it's real or perceived.

[gregariouspeach.livejournal.com]

Or it could be Deztinee as my husbands cousin is named.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

This is what I'm trying to say. I don't think my friend is white trash, although she does live in a white trash neighbourhood. I don't know what else you would call a bunch of people living on welfare with 5 kids they all had under the age of 25 in a run down, cockroach infested building, while spending all their government money on cigarettes and booze and going out to "party" every night leaving their kids to fend for themselves. I'm not going to lie and say those people are classy, because they're not. If it offends someone, so be it. I'm not going to act like I approve of that sort of lifestyle.

[the-pyre.livejournal.com]

Yeaaah you lost me here.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

I didn't say she was white trash. I said she lives in a white trash housing complex, and she does. Almost everyone there is a single mother under the age of 25, usually with 3 or more kids. None of them have jobs, they're all a bunch of high school dropouts who spend all of their welfare money on alcohol and cigarettes. If I have a lousy upbringing because I think people like that are trashy, then fine.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Just because it exists doesn't mean we should shrug our shoulders when we encounter it. I don't think the OP intended to come off in the way she did, but I hope next time she will take a step back and realize a person's worth is not tied to their economic status when making comments about names, neighborhoods, etc.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm confused why you would be best friends with someone you think so poorly of.

[holidaylights.livejournal.com]

Wow, you sound like a peach.

Also, Mercedes is a Spanish religious name, so I'm not quite sure where you're getting 'white trash' from.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Really? Almost everywhere I've read, people make fun of it for being a "white-trash" or "stripper" name. I actually think it's cute but I know a few girls named destiny and they hate their name. They say it's cute as a child, but once you pass 20, people tend to take you less seriously. I guess just hearing the experiences of those girls has me worried. But I'll butt out. Or maybe just try to get her to make it the middle name.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

I meant as in the car. And people do that. I've heard Gucci, Prada, Bentley, Chardonnay, etc. Naming your kid after luxury goods is never in good form, in my opinion. And I could really care less what people on the internets think of my personality lol.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Again, I don't. She was born into that sort of situation. Just because she lives there doesn't make her like the rest of those people. Even if she dropped out of school, she has her own sort of intelligence. Anyways, I'm not here to discuss "friendship between classes". We make it work. We've been best friends for 10 years, even though we grew up in extremely different circumstances.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thanks. And thanks for not being rude about it. I think I will butt out, maybe I'll just keep suggesting names? I have a hard time lying to her though and if she asks me what I think about the name, I don't really know what to say.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Oh and I love the name Faith, by the way. I know a few drug addicts and none of their babies are named Faith, so tell your dad to rest easy.

[night-sky-dream.livejournal.com]

Completely agree with you! Destiny is a tacky awful name. It's hard as she's your friend and you don't want to offend her, maybe suggest using Destiny as a middle name.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Don't you get it? It's only different with her because you know her.
All the other people you're calling "white trash" are in similar situations. They ALL have stories and reasons for their placein the world as I'm sure your friend does.
Calling people trashy is just not appropriate. You don't know these people. You don't know how hard they work or what knocks life has dealt them. Fine. Judge them. But when you're so vocal about it, at least be self aware enouh to know that others are judging YOU by the attitude you exhibit with the words you choose to use. It is not a positive or "classy" impression, FYI!

[the-pyre.livejournal.com]

Are you one of those people that think that food stamps buy alcohol and cigarettes?

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

Should I just butt out?
yes. I don't like the name Destiny but I don't have to as it's not my child's name.
You suggested alternatives, that's all you can do. She gets to name her kid, you get to name yours. Everyone's taste is different and at least it's not kre8tiv.

[the-pyre.livejournal.com]

Bentley and Mercedes were names long before they were products.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

glad to know i'm not crazy. apparently everyone else thinks i'm a huge bitch for not liking it and thinking it's trashy but idk.
yeah i think i'll try to think of other names. i know she was considering "Ava" too and "Ava Destiny" is a bit better. And at least it gives the kid the option to go with either name if they choose.

[fivepoints.livejournal.com]

Agreed about Mercedes. OP, names are really just a matter of person taste...no matter how wrong or tragic you might think your friend's taste in baby names is, you're not likely going to change it, and may end up losing her as a friend over it. Depending on your level of friendship, it may be okay to *once, politely* express some concern over how people may perceive the name, and then shut up about it and be supportive no matter what your friend chooses.

Slightly on topic, my brother in law and his wife will be welcoming baby Kailee (pronounce kiley, not kaylee) in August. I smiled and told them icant wait to meet her. And though it is veerrry not my style, it's also rude and not my place to say so.