"Destiny"

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

My best friend is pregnant, and I really want to support her, but she is seriously considering naming her daughter this and I just... It seems awfully trashy to me. Her family and aquaintences like it, but that doesn't surprise me seeing as how she lives in a super white trash housing complex. I really want to convince her that naming her kid something like "Destiny" "Kaighlee" or "Mercedes" etc. will NOT be doing the poor girl any favours. But at the same time, I really don't want to seem pretentious? 

It's not that, I just know that name descrimination is real, and I don't want my best friend's little girl to be held back in life because she thinks it "sounds cute". Should I just butt out? I keep suggesting alternatives but I don't know. Maybe I should just leave it alone.

Oh, and sorry if anyone here happens to love that name, or named their daughter that!

Comments

[schexyschteve.livejournal.com]

I really dislike the name Destiny, but it could be worse. It could be Kaighlee.

[gregariouspeach.livejournal.com]

Or it could be Deztinee as my husbands cousin is named.

[blosmbee.livejournal.com]

Yes, you should butt out.
Destiny may not live up to your standards, but it's a perfectly acceptable name. I honestly don't think a name like that will face much resume discrimination, if any. It's not like she's naming the kid any of those racist urban legends names.

I know it was not your intent, but calling your friend (or your friends loved ones) "white trash" speaks more on your upbringing than hers....

[schexyschteve.livejournal.com]

Also this. So much classism in the post.

[invisiblepet.livejournal.com]

Might just be personal name association. I don't think Destiny is trashy sounding at all. I have known a few and none of them were 'trashy'.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Really? Almost everywhere I've read, people make fun of it for being a "white-trash" or "stripper" name. I actually think it's cute but I know a few girls named destiny and they hate their name. They say it's cute as a child, but once you pass 20, people tend to take you less seriously. I guess just hearing the experiences of those girls has me worried. But I'll butt out. Or maybe just try to get her to make it the middle name.

[irishjewel413.livejournal.com]

I agree with you and your view on the name but I would butt out. People have been picking on my name choices throughout my pregnancy..someone always has to say why I shouldn't name my baby this or that and it makes me mad-my dad's opinion on my baby's set name is the funniest-Faith is a name drug addicts name their babies! Oh well, I like it and that's all that matters..

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thanks. And thanks for not being rude about it. I think I will butt out, maybe I'll just keep suggesting names? I have a hard time lying to her though and if she asks me what I think about the name, I don't really know what to say.

[holidaylights.livejournal.com]

Wow, you sound like a peach.

Also, Mercedes is a Spanish religious name, so I'm not quite sure where you're getting 'white trash' from.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

I meant as in the car. And people do that. I've heard Gucci, Prada, Bentley, Chardonnay, etc. Naming your kid after luxury goods is never in good form, in my opinion. And I could really care less what people on the internets think of my personality lol.

[night-sky-dream.livejournal.com]

Completely agree with you! Destiny is a tacky awful name. It's hard as she's your friend and you don't want to offend her, maybe suggest using Destiny as a middle name.

[imthelonely-one.livejournal.com]

glad to know i'm not crazy. apparently everyone else thinks i'm a huge bitch for not liking it and thinking it's trashy but idk.
yeah i think i'll try to think of other names. i know she was considering "Ava" too and "Ava Destiny" is a bit better. And at least it gives the kid the option to go with either name if they choose.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

Should I just butt out?
yes. I don't like the name Destiny but I don't have to as it's not my child's name.
You suggested alternatives, that's all you can do. She gets to name her kid, you get to name yours. Everyone's taste is different and at least it's not kre8tiv.

[cerceau.livejournal.com]

You have a right to tell her your opinion about the name, but unless she actually asks you for suggestions I think you should keep them to yourself. Naming your child is very personal, and trying to convince her that a name she loves and want to give her daughter would be better suited as a middle name is inappropriate.

[nobodynomore.livejournal.com]

Destiny is not my style, all the Destiny's I know are pets, lol.

If you've already suggested names once and she didn't react positively, don't do it again. However, if you haven't, maybe say, "Oh, I heard THIS name the other day!" and see how she reacts to suggestions. Like you said, she is "seriously considering", which implies she is still open to other names.

Keep in mind: I am 100% set on what I am naming my daughter, and no one would change my mind otherwise, but if you are that concerned about it (and I assume you'll probably be a large part of this baby girl's life), you can always try, as long as you aren't pushy about it *shrugs*

[aquilinum.livejournal.com]

You need to butt out. No, really. You seem to have asked this hoping for, "Oh, no, no, because you're so much more stylish, it's okay to intercede!" — but it's just not true.

Perhaps this (http://www.namecandy.com/name-lady/2009/06/22/my-friend-named-her-baby-after-auto-parts) will help?

[tauruschick.livejournal.com]

Butt the heck out. None of your business.

[sarahness.livejournal.com]

She's going to name her whatever kid what she wants to name her anyway, so you might as well leave it alone.

Also, I think the whole "white trash housing complex" thing was way out of line. But I'm sure you've figured that out by now.

[satunian.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you on the name opinion and think Destiny is terrible. However, while name descrimination is real, I do know a few Destinys and none of them have ever been "held back" by name descrimination. If you want to tell her the name is tacky, then go for it, but I really don't think her life would really be all that affected by it.
At the same time, with her being your best friend, it's tricky on how to say "omg that name sucks" because if the person was seriously considering a sucky name, chances are they'll be hurt/offended. So, I guess if she ASKS for your opinion, let her have it, but if she doesn't, maybe you can try suggesting other names she might like.

You might also want to casually mention that "what not to name your baby" article someone here posted a few days ago regarding noun names. If Destiny wasn't included on that list it should have been.

[nandy-pandy.livejournal.com]

You might not like it, but it isn't a horrible name. It's a legit name, and it's spelled correctly. It could be much, much worse!!

Some of my friends have named their kids names that I don't personally like, but the kids make it their own, and ultimately it's not my place to say anything. I think you should just be supportive and think of cute nicknames instead. :)

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

AS I learned many years ago, once they've decided the only correct/polite thing is to grit your teeth and say "how nice".

Anything else not your call, or mine.

And look on the bright side, I once read about a woman who named her triplets Destiny, Eternity and Infinity...

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I don't like any of the names she has picked out, but as others have said, there's not much you can do about it. You are not the mother or father.

Unless she asks for your opinion, giving it willy-nilly will only lead to drama. Even if she asks your opinion, I'm sure you can find a more tactful way to say what you're thinking. Think of this post as practice! Perhaps you could tell her something like "I am so excited for the baby, it has gotten me thinking about names I really like..."

[cremepuff.livejournal.com]

Whatever my opinion of the phrase "white trash" may or may not be, I am not a fan of the name Destiny. It sounds tacky/trashy.

In the case of dealing with your friend...the best you can probably do is to occasionally mention other suggestions for the middle name. Maybe she'll take a liking to one of them as a first name. But in the end, it's up to her and it is her child. If she names the baby Destiny, then just grin and bear it!

[amandidda.livejournal.com]

Um, can we all quit arguing about the whole "white trash" thing and focus on the thing this community is about? The baby name?

I'm not a fan of it only because it makes me think Miley Cyrus. Also, I don't think it would age well. A 45 year old woman named Destiny would get weird looks IMO.

I do agree with the others that it's not your place to tell her what to name her child but suggesting a name or two (not outright saying "You should name her ____ in stead of Destiny." but instead something along the lines of "I like the name ______ what do you think?") is IMO fine.

[cremepuff.livejournal.com]

I agree with all of this! I was going to mention Miley, and I think the bickering about the "white trash" thing got way out of hand. Jeebus. Who invited the drama llama??

[frost.livejournal.com]

Personally, I really hate the name.
I'd give my opinion, then butt out. Whether or not she takes it into consideration is up to her.

[daydream11.livejournal.com]

I agree with this, ultimately.

[unaccepatable.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, these comments you've received.
imo trash =/= economic status
You can come from the nicest upbringing, have a shit load of money, and still be trashy.
Destiny is a trashy name, I think.

[spaceandclouds.livejournal.com]

I have not read all the comments you received, because frankly many of them make me very angry.

As for my two cents, I strongly dislike the name Destiny, and you're right about the "white trash" connotation. If I were you, I'd convey your worries to your friend. If she still wants to stick with Destiny then, just let her. It's not the worst name, and if she loves it she should definitely use it - regardless of what other people think =).

[ounceofpeace.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just wow. Maybe it wasn't the best choice to use "white trash" without further explanation, but some of these commenters are insane. I read your responses and fully agree that "white trash" is an appropriate label. Sometimes I think people are on here searching for comments that aren't completely PC to pounce on, then comment 234 times about.

I agree with others who say express your dislike, but you can't do much more than that

[sidheblessed.livejournal.com]

I really can't stand the name Destiny but I don't know if there is a polite way to tell her of your concerns. If you've always been honest with each other, you could just leave it at "Not my style, but it's your choice."