Would you change your child's name?

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

My drama-ridden in-laws are always fuel for thought. Recently, my SIL went to city hall and legally changed her son's middle and last names. She did this to spite her ex-boyfriend, who she listed as her son's father on his birth certificate. They both knew that this was a completely false statement. Yet, when the couple had a messy split-up, only a month later, SIL's ex boyfriend was awarded temporary custody of the child.

The baby, who is only a couple months old, will never know the difference. But, it made me wonder, would you ever legally change your child's name? What circumstances would have to surround such a decision?

Comments

[redemptionsongs.livejournal.com]

My son's name was legally changed last month. His father had never been on the birth certificate and his last name was my maiden name. Is is now "my maiden name-father's last name". We used my name first because my son's first name and his father's last name sound really dumb together (Cooper and Parker).

I wouldn't change his first name though, he knows it and he's been called by that name since I picked it out when I was 18 weeks pregnant.

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

That sounds reasonable to me! :)

[screaming--pink.livejournal.com]

I can see changing the last name. My StepMom had a child and the father abandoned them when he was about a month and hasn't wanted anything to do with him since that time. Her son is 15 now. When he was about 3 and she changed her name from her married name to her maiden name, she also changed her son's last name from the father's to her maiden name so they would have the same name.

I've made the decision that although I will be naming the father of my baby on its birth certificate, they will have my last name. In the future if we were to be married [which doesn't seem likely now since he's probably leaving us] and I change my name I would change the child's name. But, for me.. I do not want to have a different last name than my child if I am not married. I can see a difference if it's a step parent/child situation.. but in cases where the father is absentee, I can understand wanting to change the child's last name.

[trissyd.livejournal.com]

sorry to butt in but I'd seen you around here recently and had to wave! *waves*!
Congrats on your baby Jac'!

[screaming--pink.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks, Sweetheart!
Long time no see. :]

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I can understand that, too.

[sarahrose.livejournal.com]

I don't know. It would have to be pretty unique circumstances.

If I were to end up with a woman I would love to name our kids "myname-hername" or "hername-myname," depending on who carried the child. I'd love to do that when I became committed/married to that person too... Sarah Myname-Hername and Woman Hername-Myname.

[sarahrose.livejournal.com]

if I were to become committed/married*

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I probably would have done that if I hadn't ended up taking my partner's last name.

[angelwifey.livejournal.com]

So you said it depended on who carried the child. SO whos name goes first and whos goes last? the person that carried or?

[sarahrose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, ya know, I'm not sure. It almost doesn't make sense now, just a few hours later, lol.

[angelwifey.livejournal.com]

lol. i just found it interesting. OR theres a good BOOJUMOOJU post, if it was YOUR egg , but she was the one carrying the child; whos last name goes first?
lol:)

[space-monkey340.livejournal.com]

Only if Michael died and my new husband was adopting Erik would I change is name.

[washironfucketc.livejournal.com]

In that case I would let him keep the name as almost an honor to his father.

[angelwifey.livejournal.com]

agreed. If the father died, the child can keep the name, but if the father left him, id change it.

[space-monkey340.livejournal.com]

If he had a problem with it I wouldn't let New Hubby adopt him or make him change his name.

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

I can see your point.

In this case, the situation was doomed for failure.

[angelwifey.livejournal.com]

thats exactly the reason why id never change my childs name for a step parent.it sounds cynical but whos to say that relationship wont end too.

[poespretty.livejournal.com]

me too. you just never know.

my friend named her son after her father (fn) and her husband's father (mn). shortly thereafter there was a MAJOR falling out between the father & the whole rest of the family and she really was sorry (at least/especially at that point) that she had used the name and tried to honor this person that she ended up disliking so much. now I guess she's come to terms with that and they didn't think that changing the baby's name was the best idea. but it just goes to show...

[poespretty.livejournal.com]

er, the falling out was between HER father & everyone else, not the baby's father.

[ashadelic.livejournal.com]

I could see the last name, as in your friends situation. I probably wouldnt ever change the first or middle (excluding entering the witness protection program or something of the sort where we were forced to). I could understand her changing the middle name also if the baby had the ex's first name as his middle, but even still she gave him that name BECAUSE of him. *shrug* I personally wouldnt, but that's just me.

Also, I knew a girl in elementary school who came as Brooke "Whatever" and she was a foster child. She was probably in 3rd grade at the time, and a 1st grade teacher ended up adopting her a few months after she moved into the school system. They legally changed her name to Rose Butler and only a few months later the teacher ended up giving her back to the state... it was a VERY weird situation.

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is a sad story.

[ashadelic.livejournal.com]

Yea, as a second grader I was really confused by it all, especially since I was never in foster care and didnt really completely understand what it was or what adoption was for that matter. I just remember her name changing and having to call her something else, and then *poof* she was gone again.

[maude.livejournal.com]

I would only change the last name, and only its first or middle if I had named my baby after someone who later went on a killing rampage or something.

When my stepdad was born his parents still hadn't decided on his middle name. So his dad filled it out and when his mother found out she had his middle name legally changed to what she wanted, and when his dad found THAT out he changed it AGAIN...it went on for a few years until his dad finally gave up.

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

lol!

I have thought about changing my son's middle name (he has my father's first name) if, for some strange reason, my father went on a killing rampage. haha.

[mrsduryee.livejournal.com]

I read this over and over and until the 4th or 5th time, I thought you actually wrote, "I have thought about changing my son's middle name (he has my father's first name) since for some strange reason, my father went on a killing rampage.

I was like, "wow. She's not damaged by his choices at all! I wonder who he killed."

So glad I kept reading it until I caught the "if"

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

LOL! Thanks for the belly-laugh.

[xfadedstarletx.livejournal.com]

I'm in the process now of trying to figure out what road to go down to change my son's last name. I wasnt married to my husband (his father) when he was born and I wasnt sure when we'd get married then, so I gave him my maiden name as his last name, and I really regret it since we got married 10 months after he was born anyways. I can't wait to get his last name changed so we all have the same one!

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I can understand that. Good luck! :)

[secret-x-stars.livejournal.com]

If my child was at an age where they understood what it meant to legally change their name (as in, they aren't 8 and want to name themselves Batman lol) and they were sure that they wanted the new name, I'd go ahead and legally change their name for them instead of them waiting until they were 18. It could be a birthday present or something, lol.

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I would do that for my son, too.

[angelwifey.livejournal.com]

probably not no. except for the snowballs chance in hell that her father cleans his act up ETC and we get remarried/stay married. Otherwise she will be born in feb with MY last name and will stay that way. even if/when i get remarried, she'll keep my last name. I think ill even keep my maiden name, well, forever i think.

I have...

[ginky.livejournal.com]

The hospital named our child Infant. We changed it to Jack Edward.

Re: I have...

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

That makes sense! :)

Re: I have...

[queen-mab.livejournal.com]

Lol, why would they do that?

Jack Edward is a really nice name. :)

Re: I have...

[ginky.livejournal.com]

Because they're dickwads...I went back to L&D after I had him because I hemmoraged and they could watch me 1 on 1. So I broke their cycle of what to do after birth. No one ever brought me the papers to name him, I brought it up, they said "sure we did" and I thought "Uh okay..."

So they named him Infant, I'm Amy Unknown (maiden name) and Jack's father is DH's long dead grandfather who I never knew. We were able to fix his name and my name, but DH's name is still wrong on the birth certificate and I don't care another $20 worth to fix it.

Re: I have...

[krosp.livejournal.com]

Do you actually have to pay for their mistake? How frustrating. But I guess it's probably easier to fix now than in the future if he really needs it to be accurate :-\

Re: I have...

[ginky.livejournal.com]

Yes, I did. It was a nightmare! The actual changing of it wasn't too bad, but the discovery and the time it took to deal with it was hellacious. It took us about 6 hours to get a copy of that birth certificate so we could go about fixing it.

Re: I have...

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

That was horrible of them!

Re: I have...

[queen-mab.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. Why would they lie about bringing the papers to you? Lol, that's kind of stupid. =\

Re: I have...

[ginky.livejournal.com]

I don't think they actually lied, I just think the NICU assumed that they'd done that. And they didn't, and they COULD have, because he was still in the hospital when they filed them.

[turabiannights.livejournal.com]

Only if I had made a really serious oversight, or the hospital had made a mistake - like I meant to name him Lysander, and it came out as Lysol Android or something. And that would happen immediately, not six months later or anything.

[seren.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine ever changing the first names, unless I'd sent my husband to register the birth & he'd spelt our chosen name horribly wrong or something, but how likely is that? ;) I might consider changing the last name I suppose.

[liss07.livejournal.com]

I doubt I will ever changed Harley's name, and certainly not his first name! If he wants to change his own name when he is able to do so legally for himself (I think it's 18 here in the UK) then he can do and I won't mind so much - obviously it'd be odd but it'd be his choice.

I changed my surname to my step-father's, and I wish now that I had gone with my Mum's maiden name instead because as you know, the amount of hassle I've gone through thanks to him since my Mum's death is ridiculous and I hate that I bear his name. That's why I would be reluctant to change Harley's name before he is legally old enough to do it himself, because things change and a name is very important.