(no subject)

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

Ok here's somethign I need opinions for... My mother and I were speaking and we got on the subject of adoption and I mentioned how I've always wanted to adopt a child and she thought it'd be a sweet idea... now I've always wanted to adopt a 1 year old or 2 year old, in other words not a newborn. ow do you feel about changing this child's name? I know some people feel strongly about this so try and be polite. I wouldn't change the name of a child that is old enough to speak and I am not even sure about the changing name bit but hey... asking for opinions.

Comments

[chirpygirly.livejournal.com]

I guess it's one of things that without experiencing it first hand you don't really understand.

It happened to me, the name change thing, and let's say I'm less than OK with it.

I am not trying to force my opinion on anyone, I just have experience with this and it's not positive and I express my opinion based on my experience.

I'm really not trying to offend, just giving a different perspective.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

sorry to know you've had a bad experience but it is also unfair to say it's hard for someone that hasn't been there ot unerstand... one of my cousins (someone I consider my brother) changed the name of his little girl and he is 'dad' to her and that won't ever change and at her age (she's now 1) she says she doesn't mind as she sees no one but him as her father and she loves he piucked a name for her. She was adopted when she was three.

[chirpygirly.livejournal.com]

You are free to think I'm being unfair, narrow minded, judgemental, etc, but it's my opinion, one that is different than yours, but I'm still entitled to it.

And children just don't fully understand. It's easy to say they are OK with the only name they know, given them by people the only parents they know and love.

It's not that a name makes a person. It's that people have roots, a biological starting point. Not all children who end up adopted just appear out of the ground like a cabbage patch doll. Some kids weren't just abandoned by uncaring bio parents. Most children are born from parents that wanted them, may still want them, and loved them and may likely still love them, and they chose the name for their biological child. A name that is a personal expression, a biological imparting that is unique to bio parents.
There's a striking difference between young children who don't know any better, when they are too young to know the difference, and those that are mature enough to say whether they agree with a name change, or not. Adoptive parents are taking away that choice to choose, and again, you disagree, but as I see it, it is all about putting that mark on an adoptive child as a way of saying the child is theirs now, and no longer the child of whom they came from, as signified by their original name.
It doesn't matter if a child isn't raised by their biological parents, it doesn't nullify the bio parents. And to me, changing the name a child is given by the bio parents, is in a sense, a way of nullifying the bio parents. And again, it's what I think and feel, and while it may offend you and others, it's not my intention. And that's all I'll say.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

um yeah ok that 1 is missing a 6 next to it... fast typer, miss keys and she's 16 now, not 1. Like I said, you're entitled to your opinion but yeah that's mine too. It's alright to think differently, I don't mind it at all but yes, I did find it offending as a future adoptive parent. Of course I also think differently on the whole 'roots' thing but then I guess that's where most of my opinions come from.