(no subject)

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

Ok here's somethign I need opinions for... My mother and I were speaking and we got on the subject of adoption and I mentioned how I've always wanted to adopt a child and she thought it'd be a sweet idea... now I've always wanted to adopt a 1 year old or 2 year old, in other words not a newborn. ow do you feel about changing this child's name? I know some people feel strongly about this so try and be polite. I wouldn't change the name of a child that is old enough to speak and I am not even sure about the changing name bit but hey... asking for opinions.

Comments

[farting-nora.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't change the name unless the child wanted it to be changed. With a very little kid I might change a horrendous spelling, but I'm not really even sure about that.

[matika88.livejournal.com]

If the child was only 1 year old I think changing the name is fine.

[morningapproach.livejournal.com]

I think that if they know their name it is too old to change it. I presume that a 2 year old will respond to his or her name.

[farting-nora.livejournal.com]

My 9 month old responds to his name.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

maybe he does but I think morningapproach is saying that while a 1 year iold might respond to a name it doesn't mean they won't get used to being called something else. Now a 2 year old might already know it's 'his/hers' name.

[farting-nora.livejournal.com]

It seems like it would be unnecessary confusion at any age.

[brunhildevalkyr.livejournal.com]

I have a 1 and 1/2 year old. She knows her name and responds to it. Now you probably could gradually change to another name by using the names together and eventually dropping the unwanted one. My daughter will respond to nicknames if I've used them enough in addition to her name.

[satunian.livejournal.com]

I think if the child is older than 1, he or she might be too old for the change, unless you wanted to alter a spelling, or if the name was REEEEAAALLLY atrocious. But it would also depend on the child as some children grow and learn certain things faster than others. I would avoid a drastic change, but then even if the kid was older, if you wanted to change it from say, Ann to Anna, that might not be so bad. But if the kid is old enough, you should ask them if they want to change it.

I can't really give a definite answer as everything depends on the kid; how old he or she is and everything... you can't really be sure until the child is there, I think

[gregariouspeach.livejournal.com]

I would like to adopt too so I have considered this. To me the most important thing is who gave the child the name. If it was given by their biological parents than I wouldn't think to change the only thing they still have from their mum and dad. I think it could cause them to resent you as they got older and realised you'd taken away their one tie with their biological family. If they had been given a name at an orphanage or such, I would happily change it. We intend to adopt fro
the philippines (my husband is Filipino and we're dual citizens). I'm a litt scared about what name we may end up with!! My husbands cousins are: Lavender, Lady Destinee Jezhyra (I kid you not), Nalra, Darling, Sunshine, Ayzeley and so on....

It has always bothered me that angelina Jolie changed her kids names, especially Pax who was quite old and would remember his name. I think when you adopt from another culture it's important to honor your childs culture as best you can, especially if they have a traditional name.

[night-sky-dream.livejournal.com]

I'd change it.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

that's wnderful you're planning on adopting too. am Venezuelan and will probably adopt from here or from Colombia... maybe if I move to Europe before I do I will adopt from Ruissia or elsewhere (I wanrt top adopt more than one child if money allows me). The thing also is that most prphanages here are from children who've suffered and been taken from their homes... I also considered that... that maybe these children were hurt from their previous family... I wouldn't completely change the name, maybe... but use it as a middle of second middle maybe.

I dont' mind she changed the names... maybe she asked... I don't knowe, maybe the kids don't mind... it's all relative but I wished to know opinions too because it helps from an outside view right?

[lovebird.livejournal.com]

Especially combined with the confusion of being with a new family I would think. On the other hand I guess it wouldn't be any different than a nickname?

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

mind if I ask the reason behind? =)

[night-sky-dream.livejournal.com]

Probably for a selfish reason but I'd like to give the child a name that I choose instead of the one it was given previously.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

the thing is... My sister was called Mariam (her middle name) since she was born, then when I was a little older I 'changed' her name to Corita (a nicknamed I used for years)... finally when we moved to the US when she was in the first grade they started calling her by her first name (Irene) and believe it or not she didn't have a horrid scar because of it... she answered to it fine (even if noone, even at school called her Irene before) and she answered to Mariam when mum and dad called her too... then when we moved back to Venezuela she became Irene but with the spanish pronounciation (which is completely different than the english verison of Irene) and again... she had no issues with the name thing. This is why I don't think there'd be any horrible confussion scar... like someone bellow said it might just depend on the child.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

hey that's fine, I wa asking for opnions and your opinions is yours. Thanks for sharing.

[thellamaqueen.livejournal.com]

that's a touchy subject. :\ someone on here got upset when i mentioned that my cousins were changing the *middle name* of their adopted 3-year-old because they thought it was an attack on his birth culture (changing it from a Hispanic name to an Anglo name) - and they weren't even dreaming of doing anything to his first name.
I personally think it's okay if it's done very carefully. For the age range you're thinking of adopting, I don't think they're quite old enough to be choosing their own name or making the big decision to change their first name or anything like that. You mentioned that you would consider moving the original first name to a middle name slot, and I think that's a great idea.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

oh trust me I remember that post (How is Banana Andrew doing anyway?) and that was why I was so careful to write 'be polite' on there. I remember thinking when you wrote that post on the whole 'who cares?' aspect of his birth culture... to me really we're all human and the place you were born to makes you not who you are... but it's good to know it too. I think I was born hispanic but it doesn't mean that that is all I am... or all I will be. I know my ulture, know my country and that's just fine by me.

Thanks, I really like that idea too since it'd be nice to let them know they still have it and they can use it if they like too =)

[samaside.livejournal.com]

I think that it would depend on the situation. If you are adopting a child that has come from a bad family situation it may not be such a bad idea to remove them from that entirely by giving them a new name to go along with their new life. A child who has been cursed at their whole lives and had nothing but bad connections with their name probably wouldn't mind it at all.

[sugarmagnolia90.livejournal.com]

I think it would be far too confusing to change the name of a child over six months old.

[mommyaubrey.livejournal.com]

i had three friends in school who were adopted. Danielles Previous name was Cindle and man is she happy it was changed, and Elisa's was Patricia, she also is happy it was changed. i can't remember Carli's but they kept her middle name the same which was Andrea'. i don't think Danni and Elisa had middle names. also, Danielle and Elisa are in contact with their birth mother, and it doesn't bug them at all.

i think that maybe moving their chosen birth name to the middle name slot would be a great idea, unless it's just horrible.

[scouty.livejournal.com]

Cindle

?

like the little girl in the ewok movie ?

uuhh..I loved that movie

[monkey-fruit.livejournal.com]

My 4 year old nephew lives with us part-time; he responded to his name by age one. Later, when he was just learning to talk, I would joke with him, "Your name is Frank!" He would vehemently refuse and, if I kept it up too long, get all upset.

At that age, I'm sure you could get a child used to another name, but, personally...I probably wouldn't change their name if they're already responding to one.

Someone above me commented on sliding the original first name over to use as a middle name...I think that'd work. You would get the name you want, but the child would also get to keep the name that connects them to their birth parent(s). When older, they could decide which one they want to repsond to. =)

[monkey-fruit.livejournal.com]

Lol, I thought of that movie, too! ^_^

[joereaves.livejournal.com]

This - the situation is important I think. If the child wasn't coming from any bad kind of situation then that name is something they have from their birth parents and I think it should be kept or only changed slightly (maybe making a first name into a middle name and giving them a new first name). It shouldn't be got rid of completely. My cousin has two adopted daughters and I think she changed the second one's name by adding another name but kept the first one's name the same. They were both babies though, well under one.