babynames | (no subject)

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so im due in 2ish weeks, and the father of the baby and i cant agree on names.

we're not together and hes not sure yet how much involvement he will have, so i feel like i should just go with what i want? does that sound reasonable? i have been open to suggestions from him the whole time, but his suggestions are pretty damn ugly and he just pulls them from no where, they mean nothing to him. anyway, im about 90% sure on...

Finn Rafferty Wolfe

(Wolfe is my last name, his is Grant - which i have suggested we use, but he doesn't seem interested, and my name is better anyway hehe)

what do people think?

The name Finn means alot to me because my dad who passed away when i was 3 used to call my brother that as a nick name, even though his name is David. no one has called him Finn since he was about 10, so there wouldn't be any confusion etc. i just feel like it would be a nice way to honor my dad and also my brother (who has been an awesome male influence in my life)

so bring on the opinions.........?

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I think it sounds wonderful.

Finnegan is on my top ten boy names list. :-)

I love the name Finn!

As for the father, he still deserves some say in the naming of his child. You both have to agree on a name. I mean, if he expresses no desire to care about what his child is called, give yourself the freedom to call him what you want! Otherwise, he should have an equal say - neither of you should name him something you don't want.

I have to disagree...if he's "Not sure yet how much involvement he will have"
than I don't think he should have much say at all in naming the baby.
If he were going to be an active part of his child's life and take on the responsibility of it than yes, I'd say he deserves a say as well...but this *iffy* stuff doesn't sit well with me personally.
Good luck to you, the name sounds great!

ideally i would love it if we both agreed, but he isnt even giving me valid suggestions! he just says "meh i dont really like finn, suppose its ok"

so it seems like he doesnt really care, but at the same time he wont just let me be happy with the name i love.

ive organised everything, paid for everything, plan to look after the child the majority of the time, so i just dont think he has a right to have an equal say. if anything i feel like im being nice letting him have a say at all! which he has also acknowledged and will sometimes say "yeah do what you want"

its just a tricky situation to be in. im trying to be encouraging so he will have more involvement, but at the same time if he turns around once hes born and decides he cant handle it, and ive given up naming my child a name that means something to please him, ill be really heartbroken.

haha sorry for the ramble! :)

you definitely have the right to name the child if you will be the primary (if not ONLY) caregiver in the child's life. if he doesn't want to step up as a parent, he doesn't deserve the chance to name the child.

It sounds like he's ok with you naming him Finn really. He hasn't said otherwise, by the sounds of it- just that he doesn't particularly like the name. Which is not surprising, it is rare to get two parents who actually like the same names lol

"Not sure yet how much involvement he will have" sounds like it's your decision. That's a pretty unattractive and wishy-washy way to absolve himself of responsibility, if you ask me, and I see no reason why you should use a name you dislike just to make him happy. Especially when it sounds like he doesn't even particularly care what you name the baby.

Finn is NMS but nice, and I like the meaning. Rafferty's is the name of a restaurant where I live, so I could never use it.

ive heard its the name of a restaurant a few times, is it a chain?

ive never seen any restaurants in australia with that name, so i think im safe. its a very old irish name, so i can almost imagine an irish pub with the name o'raffertys or something.

i dont mind though, i still love it and my heritage is dutch/irish, so it fits :)

I think it's a great name and definitely unique!

I love Finn! Oh, and I don't think the father gets a say, especially if you're not sure he'll be involved.

Rafferty, is that a last name as a middle name?

middle name! although i did read its common as both in ireland, well it used to be anyway!

I like Finn and I think it sounds great.

If he's not showing any interest in being involved, you should definitely go with your choice. Say, unless you come up with something better and that I like, too, I'm going with this. Deal.

awesome name. very unique!

omfg!!!!

i just HAD to comment, i LOVE LOVE LOVE your icon!!!!

'drop dead fred' is my all time FAVORITE movie EVER!!!!

*squeeee!*

"you're doing it??? Like the PIDGEONS?!?!?!"

if my daughter's dad had any say in her name she'd be "ivy jade" or "kitty angel"

so keep on keepin on lady.

Out of curiosity, what did you name her? :)

adria danielle. and he hates it. and I don't give a shit.

Well, I like it, and good for you!

haha, oh dear.

well his suggestions so far are carl, sacha, robbie and jesse. i dont mind jesse, but i had a dog called jessie growing up, and his dog (well parents dog) who is still alive is called jess...AND his ex gfs name is jesselea...so sorry, but no no no!

anyone who wants to name a baby "carl" needs to be shot.

LOL

lol omg- i'm glad you had the say then. that made me laugh so hard

yeah I don't listen much to her dad. he's "special"

that made me laugh harder- i have people like him in my life too

Kitty Angel sounds like Mariah Carey's next album title.

or maybe the stripper that gave him his first blowjob? either or, you know.

*see icon for what you should tell sperm-donor-man*

anywho, i say you make it, you bake it, you birth it, you name it. end of story.

btw, the name rocks. keep it.

hehe, hes been slightly more supportive than a sperm donor, but only just. we have an extremely complicated relationship which just makes it hard to be completely ballsy and say "fuck off" coz ideally id like him to be more involved, so i try to encourage him.

hes one of those people who take a long long time to get their heads around something new, so a baby is like the biggest thing in the world for him to comprehend.

oops, there i go rambling again!

Finn Rafferty is awesome. I love it.

If he's not sure how much involvement he'll have, well, forget him. If he's not going to put any time into the kid, why should he get any sort of say on the name?

I'm going to be the odd man out and say that I don't like it. I'm just not fond of the flow, both as a full name and as fn-ln.

(deleted comment)

i have been thinking about that, but i felt like because the middle name is sorta fancy, maybe just finn as the first name is ok. because finley rafferty seems a bit rhymey to me, coz they both end in y. plus im alot more likely to convince the dad that finn is the way to go rather than finnegan (which i love) because he likes really simple names.

i think names have been the hardest thing about being pregnant!

it's a beautiful name and while i understand your concern- if he's not willing to make an effort, and he did say he supposes it's ok, i see nothing wrong with using what you feel comfortable with.

I personally don't really like the name Finn, but I like that it has so much meaning for you, and I think it's a good choice.

It's an awesome name :)
I didn't pay much attention to my son's dad when it came to naming my son and we're still together! lol!
I say name him what you want and if baby daddy complains tell him he should have been more enthusiastic in the first place.

I told my other half he had 9 months to decide whether he could handle being a dad. If he decided yes then he would be completely involved no matter what happens between us and if he decided no then I wouldn't hold it against him but he would have nothing to do with the child, at all, until the child was old enough to decided for himself. IMO there's no middle ground when it comes to being a parent, be there or don't, no messing the child around.
Sorry...rant over! *ahem*

I really hope it works out the way you want and again, I love the name!

Very nice!

I love Finn! I love it just as it is without -ley or -igan. I think it's a fantastic name.

I'm going to be one on the no side. Fin to me is what some fish have to help them swim. It also reminds me of the dog from the children's live action show "Mr. Dress-up", only the dog was a puppet named Finnegan. I think Finn sounds like it's short for a fuller name such as Finnegan, which to me is a last name and thus shouldn't be used as a first name. I think because of that, yet because of it's special meaning to you, I suggest using it as a middle name.

And though the bio dad seems uninterested, he's still the other 50% contributor and he may change his tune later on, and I think he should be allowed a say and I would really try hard to compromise on a name with him. Have you expressed to him that his opinion matters, and is important to you in the naming or your child together? Maybe his negative attitude right now is just a front and maybe he wants to feel more needed? I don't know.

Anyway you are the mother and Finn is not my style, it's not a horrid name so if you love it then go with it. Congratulations! :)

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