Baby Naming Trouble

[loki-quinn.livejournal.com]

I don't know if anyone else has run into this problem, but I'll give it a shot.

Have you been afraid to tell your friends/family baby names you picked out because you didn't want to hear their negative reactions/suggestions for improvement?

I'm only fifteen weeks along and already my grandmother called with a suggestion my husband and I absolutely loathed. When I told her I didn't think that was what we were looking for, she got all huffy and asked what we had come up with. It's not that I'm superstitious about naming the baby before it is born or anything but a.) we wanted to be surprised by the sex of the baby at birth and b.) we wanted our name choices to be a part of that surprise for our family and close friends. It seems I have apparently not made anyone happy because now everyone is obsessed with knowing the baby's sex (for shopping purposes) and knowing what names we have picked out. Any suggestions?

Oh, and a big reason why I've decided against finding out the baby's sex is so that my child isn't confined to a world of pink or blue before it is even born.

Comments

[loki-quinn.livejournal.com]

My husband's aunt and uncle named all their chidren relatively plain names with unique spelling--like Emilee and Hollee. It drives me crazy!

[artistiquemommy.livejournal.com]

I'm always afraid to tell my family what I think of the names for my daughter because they never like the names. Of course, it's up to me to name my own baby, but they always criticize every name I come up with. It doesn't really help either, that I really really like unique names. My favorite name that I've come up with has been D'Andra. That's what I definitely am naming my daughter, but my family hates it and whenever I say "Oh, I'm getting this for D'Andra", they come out with "Well, we'll have to pick out a new name for her. What the hell!? I just don't understand why we can't name our own children whatever we want to. I mean, they'll grow to like the name because it is their grandchild and great grandchild. Well, I just don't know.

That's not that nice of your grandmother to act like that! Mine is acting the same way. It's like, you raised your kids already and you got the chance to name them, now let me name my own kid!! It just gets me so angry when other family members interfere with names and stuff. Ugh!! Good luck with naming your child!!

[loki-quinn.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It seems like no matter the name, someone isn't going to be happy and makes a really snarky comment, ruining not only your self resolve but the magic of actually having the chance of naming your baby. That's why by the time my child is named, he/she will actually be here and there's nothing they can say (like "we need to find her a new name") that's going to change our minds.

[pale-september.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, that would have made me so mad. "We'll have to pick out a new name for her"? Urgh! People sometimes. lol I think D'Andra is cute and sweet. I'd really like to know where people think they get this authority from. They think just because they've had kids of their own, they can be as heartless and pushy with pregnant women as they want to.

[ncpeen.livejournal.com]

One name we liked my Grandma said she would disown us.
When I told my Mom the boy name we had picked out, after we found out it was a girl she said oh good I'm glad it's a girl I don't like that one. My take on it, they already got to name thier kids & my kids are mine so I get to name them.
Good luck!

[sightlines.livejournal.com]

funny, i was thinking about this just today. yeah, i've had that problem too, someone on my husband's side of the family thinks it's totally appropriate of her to just make snarking remarks about everything we pick, and i am so tempted to remind her what her kids names are, because they are stupid names and at least i'm not rude enough to say anything, lol. but yeah, i know what you mean. some people think it's totally cool of them to comment and give their negative opinions, it comes back to that old saying if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all, you know? i'm so tempted to remind this person of that, before i pull my hair out.

[sageharper.livejournal.com]

Totally agree with you :)

Wouldn't want to find out the sex either, spoils the suprise. Couldn't stand the pink/blue only stuff (especially pink)

I've learnt from bitter experience that my family's first reaction any choice I make is negative.
We have totally opposite naming styles too (know that from naming the rabbits).
Obviously can't keep it a secret forever, but won't share with them until the baby is born. Then they'll just have to get used to it.

[home-to-me.livejournal.com]

Whatever you decide, it should be YOUR decision, and I don't think your family should pressure you to find out if you don't want to. Besides, either sex can wear blue, and there's always yellows and whites and stuff that are cute for either. If they want to shop for your baby, they'll figure something out.

When I have babies, I don't think I want to find out in advance either.

[misshapen-fro.livejournal.com]

I really haven't gotten too much negative yet (some disagreement from my bf, but nothing nasty...lol) except from my (very negative in any situation) grandma, who doesn't like the thought of me naming my kid, assuming it's a girl, Lucille. I'm not really sure WHY she doesn't like that, seeing as how it's my great-gma's (her mother) name. She suggested Clydine. omg.

[loki-quinn.livejournal.com]

Lucille is so pretty! Are you planning on calling her Lucy? Lucy seems to be an "in" name, whatever that means. But I've read no less than three books lately all with young children named Lucy (one is Little Children by Tom Perrotta). Also, the author Jennifer Weiner named her little girl Lucy Jane. I'm seeing it everywhere!

[misshapen-fro.livejournal.com]

Well, Lucille will probably be a middle name. If I had my way, she'd be named Dolores Lucille, but my bf wants to know why I can't just pick a "normal" name...lol...So I was thinking maybe Charlotte Lucille. Call her Charlie :)

[morphinae.livejournal.com]

First of all, I'd be offended to have people calling me up at 15 weeks with 'suggestions'. I'd tell them right then and there to back off, there's plenty of time for that, and you can very well ASK for advice when you damn well want it. I went through this with my son, my family and my ex's family were VERY pushy through the whole pregnancy, naming wasn't an exception. Finally I just decided to not tell them a damn thing through the entire pregnancy, but towards the end the first name slipped (corbin) and by then they had been trained with the silent treatment long enough not to criticize it to my face. No one knew his full name except myself and my ex until he was born. I suggest doing the same, eventually the curiousity will die down and they will butt out. You shouldn't have to deal with this junk now. Try the 'smile and nod' method, anyone gives you an idiotic suggest, smile, nod, say you'll consider it, and change the subject. Quickly. If that doesn't work, play dumb, 'oh, we haven't decided yet, there's plenty of time for that!' and change the subject again. Good luck :)

[pale-september.livejournal.com]

I really wanted to wait until my son was born to know his sex but its our first baby so we couldn't stand it.

My boyfriend and I HATE sports stuff and his Mom is always buying us onesies covered in baseballs. I know exactly what you mean.

You should tell people to buy you unisex things, clothes and items both female and male could use. Theres a lot of clothes (white, spring green, yellow) that make great clothes for both girls and boys.

Theres no way of really convincing a family to let you do it your way, its something they have to deal with. :) In my boyfriends family they always want children named after others. They wanted us to name our son James (which we didn't like) and got upset when we kindly said no. After realizing we weren't budging they finally gave up and are perfectly fine with my son's name. When they see you aren't going to bend to what they want, they respect your decision. :) So just ignore the pestering, its your baby to choose for.

[loki-quinn.livejournal.com]

I'm so scared of little boys clothes! Before I started visiting Babies R Us, I thought that pink was horrendous enough. But it seems like boys clothing is either a. old fashioned or b. covered in sports/trucks/airplanes or vehicles of some sort.

[sara-t-05.livejournal.com]

I think it's a motherly instinct that grandmothers get when they find out their child is going to have a child. It's like it's their child without having to bear it, so they feel they have a say in decisions for the child's life.
When my sister was mentioning names that she would name her children, my mom got so mad saying that she would never name her children that and started suggesting names.
I guess you can just ignore them or play along saying you love the names and then when the baby is born, name it what you want. They can think you're naming the kid what they want throughout the whole pregnancy. But, when the baby is born and you announce the name, it'll floor 'em. lol
Good luck, though. I wish I wasn't as anxious to want to find out the sex of my child. I'm not pregnant, but I know for a fact I could not go 9 months without knowing what the baby is.

[zenpuppy.livejournal.com]

Despite the pressure your recieving from family members you must always keep one truth in mind - your baby, is YOURS. I have met plently of couples who choose to keep the name & sex to themselves untill birth, and although I do not have the self-restriction to do that myself, I think its a lovely idea. Suggest to your family if they which to purchase you items for your child, make them sex-neutral. Yellows, whites, greens, and hey - if they insist on buying pink and blue, whos to say a baby boy can not rock the pink? Or suggest to them other items you may need - such as a crib, a walker, bottles, etc. etc. All which can be purchased in black, green..etc. Or - a simple gift certificate to a store of your choice, so when your bundle of joy is here - YOU choose exactly what you may need or want for your child. I also suggest that you encourage your family members to instead start a college fund for the baby - and the sex of the child in most states is not a need-to-know factor to begin one of these. That is a gift better than any blue or bink onesies they could ever buy or make themselves. I want to congradulate you with sticking to your guns -

As far as your name choices go, assure them that a name is simply that, a name. Untill he or she is born, allow them to call the baby your bundle of joy - or their furture grandchild. Encourage them to think of it as a gift, and like all gifts - must remain a surprize untill the unwrapping ;) Or in this case - the birth. :)

Congradulations!

[momentarygenius.livejournal.com]

We didn't really have a choice in finding out our first one, as my mom was my ultrasound technician ... the downside of a small town. At least now she's retired and lives about 300 miles away so with TTC#2 we can be suprised. As far as the naming goes, for the first 6 months I was dead set on Chrishawna (after relatives that have passed). Obviously my parents and family and friends we're slapping me upside the head. Then we changed it to Melanie. Until like, the week she was born and we decided on Kristen. But we didn't tell anyone, so they all thought she was still going to be Melanie. The point of my incredibly long story is tell them that a) It really is YOUR decision on the name AND knowing the sex. and b) you're PREGNANT. Your mind is probably going to change about a zillion times and you don't want to tell anyone until you know for sure. That should shut them up.

[momentarygenius.livejournal.com]

and I personally love the color red, and it looks great on boys or girls!

[alaskamournings.livejournal.com]

we've chosen the name Evelyn, and you would not believe how many wrinkled up noses i see when i tell them what we've decided on. it hurts my feelings, but hey...it's our choice, and we love it.

if i had the self control, i wouldn't have told anyone. but when i get excited i have to tell everyone who will listen my business. good for you!

[lolacat.livejournal.com]

Amen to your desire to avoid loads of "boy" and "girl" identified crap for your kid.

I understand the name anxiety thing. I think it's good to try and keep it private, because people will act like you disclosing that is an invitation for suggestions... and naming is a really private, personal thing for you guys. I mean, I'll snark about names all day long, but I know I don't have the right to tell people what to name their kids... plus I want to save all the names I like for myself!

Lauren

[willow-tree393.livejournal.com]

I agree with you about not wanting to find out the sex of the baby...its a special thing to find out when the baby come out and looks at you for the first time. Do not let anyone get to you about this. Especially your family! Just tell people that your not going to find out and thats final. Put your foot down! Its you and your husbans decision...not theirs! when someone brings it up to you...either ignore the question, or tell them its a secret!

[willow-tree393.livejournal.com]

by the way...what was the name that your grandmother recommended if you don't mind me asking.