[identity profile] ewaeva.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] babynames

ETA: Woot! Thanks for the solidarity, all. Non-cute name lovers represent!

Question. 

In so many threads in this community, I see comments by people who love the name [Sailor or Sunshine or Kylee or Ainsley or whatever] because "it's so cute!" or, "just adorable!" or, "so sweet for a little girl! I'm adding it to my list!"

Why? WHY is this a criteria? I don't get it.

"Cuteness" is not one of my criteria in choosing a name. I myself would not want to have a name that is "cute" or "adorable," or "sweet on a little girl," because those qualities are not exactly what I want to be associated with.

Why do people choose a name because it's "cute for a little girl"? Little girls grow up. Do they want their daughters to be "cute," "sweet," or "adorable" women? I sure don't. I want them to be strong and smart and confident, and I will give them names that I think reflect that.

It also bothers me that the criteria of "it's so adorable for a little boy" is much less often brought up. Because GIRLS are supposed to be "sweet." 

That's it.

Date: 2006-08-14 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hitzpink.livejournal.com
Because people seem to think that they're giving birth to daughters who will forever remain little girls and therefore it's ok to name her something cutesy like that. I agree with you, it bugs me so much. One of the first things I do when deciding to add a name to my list is picture it on a grown woman. If I can't I don't add it, no matter how adorable it is on a 3 year old.

Date: 2006-08-14 02:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginky.livejournal.com
I love the name Evie because it's cute. But I figured she will probably grow up and not want to be so cute, so I named her Evelynn.

Date: 2006-08-14 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrsduryee.livejournal.com
This is totally acceptable. I am Rosalie, and I was Rosie until I graduated high school. Now I'm Rose.

My favorite girls name also has a cute nn, but it's a nn as well.

Date: 2006-08-14 02:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myfriendjenny.livejournal.com
When I named my son I wanted a name that would be cute on a little boy but would also work for an adult. I'm going to try to pull off the same balance for the next one, boy or girl. I'm going to try and stay away from anything too "precious", because they do grow up!

Date: 2006-08-14 02:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginky.livejournal.com
DH was Trey (he's the third) through college, but when he started working he chose to be called Sam. There's a distinct line between people who call him Trey and people who call him Sam. It amuses me.

Date: 2006-08-14 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myfriendjenny.livejournal.com
Also, my son's name is Maxwell, and we call him Max. I think the name Max is adorable, so what I think is cute my not be the same as your average person. ;-)

Date: 2006-08-14 02:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myfriendjenny.livejournal.com
Yeah, I tend to think the really cutesy names should be used only on pets!
;-)

Date: 2006-08-14 02:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] k-t-bug.livejournal.com
"Cuteness" is anti-criteria for me.

Preach on, sister! You get an "Amen" from me!

Date: 2006-08-14 03:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sageharper.livejournal.com
Totally agree with you.

If anything I avoid 'cute' names, because they usually don't age well. I mean who the hell wants a 'sweet' name when they're a thirty year old lawyer?

Date: 2006-08-14 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ophiomancer.livejournal.com
I knew a girl named Candi...who was born on Halloween.

I feel for that girl, I really do.

Date: 2006-08-14 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_x_blackroses_x/
*nods* I don't go for "cuteness" in a name either.

Date: 2006-08-14 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trissyd.livejournal.com
Wow, this post reminds me so much of the "Sociology of Gender & Sexuality" class I took last year...

I agree, double standards are sick. But you know people will treat a baby differently based on its sex (girls are cuddled more are words that describe her physical apperance, like "adorable", are used more often), naming is just another thing to tack onto it.

I like feminine names. I'll like a name because it sounds very soft and "pretty", but I'd never like a name based on "cuteness"... that's for pets. I like "pretty" boys names too, though, so no double standard here.

Date: 2006-08-14 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iluvpomeranians.livejournal.com
Wow, I hadn't noticed that. My husband and I chose names we like that begin with the letter of the alphabet for a deceased relative, as is typical in the Jewish religion. I also made sure they flowed nicely together and with our last name. We had a few disagreements over spelling, but nothing was chosen for cuteness, just names we love. Cute isn't in my criteria either.

Date: 2006-08-14 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morphinae.livejournal.com
Yeah, I agree. Nicknames should definitely have 'cute' appeal for me, but they also need a grown up name. Logically they are going to be 'grown up' for a lot longer then they will be cute and little.

Date: 2006-08-14 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sotypical42483.livejournal.com
oh my goodness I agree soooo much. Sometimes i will say a name is "cute" but... I'd say Elisabeth is cute, for example. I hate cutesy little girl names (like the ones you listed) and the exact reason I'd never use them or encourage someone else to is because they don't age well and (I think) will sound silly on an adult.

Date: 2006-08-14 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sotypical42483.livejournal.com
I think that's really cute and I like Maxwell as a name to fall back on :) You did good.

Date: 2006-08-14 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imyourrapunzel.livejournal.com
I like names that are versatile. Certain nicknames can be sweet when kids are young, but when I have kids I'd also want them to have the choice of a grown up sounding name. That's why I like choosing names with options, like more than one nickname.

Date: 2006-08-14 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloomingtulip.livejournal.com
AMEN! I do think it's fine to have a cutesy NN as long as the whole name is suitable for a grown up.

Date: 2006-08-14 06:43 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-08-14 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-lostinyou.livejournal.com
I completely agree. It has been said about a couple of my names before... and it's almost insulting to me, in a way. As if it's a 'little girl name'. I like having the option of a 'cute' NN, but certainly not a full name. She's not going to be five forever.

(But I have seen the 'adorable' comment quite a few times for boy's names. It's equally ick, to me.)

Date: 2006-08-14 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arbus.livejournal.com
my criteria for names goes something like: i picture him/her as a toddler, as a young teenager with his friends cheering him/her on in a sport or something, as a late teenager applying to colleges, and then as an adult right out of college, sticking out his/her hand to introduce him/herself to a potential employer or someone of equal importance. lastly, as a mother/father and a grandmother/father-aged person. personally i would hate to be a 60 year old woman trying to introduce myself as "mikaylee" or something equally stupid. if the names makes you want to vomit or bust out laughing at any of these ages, its off my list. :)

Date: 2006-08-14 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] polkadotskirt.livejournal.com
yeah - Elizabeth works best, Libby as the cutsy toddler name, then Beth, Lizzy, Liz, Betty, Betsy, any of those to fall back on! Nice adult names with cute NNs are best, definatly

Date: 2006-08-14 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krosp.livejournal.com
I completely agree. I know I shouldn't judge people on their names, but I just can't help assuming that a grown woman with one of those "cute" names is going to be a completely ditsy bimbo.

Meanwhile, there are so many cute names I think would be great on pets.

Date: 2006-08-14 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilovehounds.livejournal.com
EXACTLY! thanks for saying it so well!

i hope people who name their baby daughters Candi and shit like that have daughters who grow up to be tattooed biker chicks with multi-colored mohawks! :)

(not that there's anything wrong with being that way; most of my friends are like that)

Date: 2006-08-14 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarahrose.livejournal.com
While I like some names that are considered "cute" - I agree!!! I don't like them because of that, and I probably wouldn't actually name my daughter something cute. But my definition of "that is so cute" is probably different than a lot of others' definitions, ya know?


The reason I hate Emily is because of the cute feeling I get from it, and the shy feeling I get from it. I certainly don't want my daughters to be shy wallflowers.


Good post.

Date: 2006-08-14 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] holly-megan.livejournal.com
As a girl named "HOLLY" I can agree. I constantly feel like a 4 year old girl in pigtails when on the phone with a major supplier at work, or when introducing myself in a professional way, it just doesn't work, at least to me.

Date: 2006-08-15 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glitterberrys.livejournal.com
I dunno, I think you might be overthinking it as a social commentary, but I hear what you're saying and I don't disagree (though I've heard plenty of people awww-cute at boys' names as well). Nothing wrong with a name that is "cute," I've got one myself (Molly) and I think it works fine for an adult. Especially since everyone's interpretation of what's cute is different.

That said, I do think people ought to consider how a name will fit a person at all ages. Heck, you rarely see a little girl named Agatha, Mildred or Barbara these days, and they sound "old." To me, anyway.

Date: 2006-08-15 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artfuldodger.livejournal.com
Amen, sister.

Date: 2006-08-15 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellycopter.livejournal.com
my name is giselle, but i go by elly. some people do call me giselle though. i've always thought 'elly' is a really toddlerish name, but my ex told me he'd continue to call me elly until we were old..which doesn't sit comfortably with me at all. hahaha.

Date: 2006-08-15 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scintillated.livejournal.com
I totally agree with you. As a sidenote, I know people who were just given nicknames as their full names...i.e., Becky instead of Rebecca, Katie instead of Kathleen. I feel really bad for those people.

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