Calling child by middle name

[smallandneedy.livejournal.com]

This is kind of related to the post about grandparents and other people insisting on calling kids something else than what their parents have decided their name is.

I was wondering, is it considered offensive or annoying to call a child by their middle name even though their parents call the child by their first name?

Edited to add:

What if the situation was reversed, as in parents calling their children by their middle names but other people call them by their first? I know a whole family with 4 children where all of them including the parents go by their middle names and not their first.

Is calling someone by their first name when they go by middle less offensive than calling someone by middle rather than first?

Comments

[being-lola-star.livejournal.com]

This sort of applies to two people I know.

The one is a guy who is the James IV in his family. I come from a small community so literally his grandfather lived next door to him and everyone knew him as James. His dad went by Jim or Jimmy. While in school the guy went almost exclusively by his middle name (shortened) "Brad". At home though he was James or James Bradley. Strangely enough when he left for college he started going by James everywhere but everyone from home still calls him Brad. It had nothing to do with him not liking the name it just was how he did things. He would just as easily respond to either name.

The second is a girl called Heaven-Leigh. She was teased so often in elementary school over her name that she finally gave up and insisted on being called Charlotte, her middle name. (One memorable time she was being picked on for her name "Where are your wings?" etc., so she kicked the other child in the shins and told them they had been "touched by an angel"). When we reached high school a friend of mine (who tended to rename people) said she though Heaven-Leigh was pretty and asked if it was alright to call her that instead. Now she goes by Heaven-Leigh, Heav or Charlotte.

I think if you're unsure of what to call someone you should ask them. Short forms or pet names are only alright if the other person is consenting. Calling someone a one name when they go by a different or pet name is a reasonable mistake. Second time it happens after you've been corrected, it's rude. Third or more, you're being a dick.