"Protecting" your favorite names from "stealers"

[retrodancekitty.livejournal.com]

I know names are not property and there's not really such a thing as "stealing", hence the quotation marks

Let's say you have your favorite names picked out to for your kids, although the reality of having kids might lie several years ahead. Let's also say that you wouldn't be comfortable if someone close to you (family, friends, etc.) ended up using the same name as you.

I've been thinking and haven't been able to decide: on one hand, I believe in not telling anyone so as not to give anyone "ideas", leading them to use the names before you, if they get the chance first; on the other hand, I'm beginning to think maybe there are advantages in letting people know, so that you get to "call" the names.
In the first case, there's the chance someone will autonomously think up the same name as you, and if they get to use first, you can't come out then to say "but that was the name I was planning to use".
In the second case, you get to establish your "name territory", but it still might inspire someone who doesn't see the problem in using the same name as you.

Which of these strategies do you think works best?
Does it make a difference if the names you've picked are on the less common side of the spectrum, possibly affecting the chances that someone else might want to use them?

Comments

[hwar.livejournal.com]

Personally, I wouldn't share them. Your choices will probably change if your kids are several years out. If it won't change, i.e. you are planning to honor a family member, I think it's fine to mention it, but you also have to be okay with someone else in your family using the name if they have kids before you. For example, if you planned to honor your grandfather Ethan, but your brother had a boy before you and used the name, you can't be upset about that...after all, you might never have a boy! And he has as much right to honor your grandfather as you do.

There is no way to keep people from using names that you like, whether you tell them or not. The only reason to tell someone is to make them feel guilty for choosing a name they like, which they have every right to do. Personally I choose not to make others uncomfortable by putting dibs on a name when I might never have another child. They should be able to make a choice with a clear conscience (not guilt for choosing the same name, or regret for not choosing a name they love because they consider my feelings above their own).

I am speaking somewhat from experience, as someone in my family has put "dibs" on a family name...yet she doesn't plan to have more kids in the near future, whereas we are trying to have more. So do I let her have dibs, or do we add it to our list of names to consider? It's a sticky situation.