Most awkward "OMG YOU STOLE MY NAME" drama story I've ever heard

[thismakebelieve.livejournal.com]

A girl at work just told me this story. She said to post it on my "message boards I use" and see what people think.

Her friend is currently 37 weeks pregnant, so in other words, baby could come any day. At about 10 weeks pregnant, they decided that whether the baby was a boy or a girl, they would name the baby Ryan. They found out at 21 weeks that the baby is a boy and started getting all sorts of things with his name on them. They also always refer to the baby as Ryan instead of as "the baby." Everyone who talks to them has known the baby as Ryan since about 10 weeks.

At 20 weeks, her husband's brother's wife (so, her-sister-in law) found out that she was also pregnant. She was 4 weeks at the time. Her friend was REALLY excited that they would be having babies so close together. They are not super close, but they do see each other at least two-three times a month for family things.

At 6 weeks, the sister-in-law started telling EVERYONE that she was pregnant; coworkers, family, strangers, etc. They didn't name the baby or anything at that point. Sadly, when she went in at 10 weeks for her dating ultrasound, they found that there was no yolk sac and no heartbeat. They were devastated. A few days after the ultrasound they miscarried.

A week after the miscarriage the sister-in-law and her husband held a memorial service at their church. Everyone in the family went to show their support, as well as many of their friends. However, it was very jarring when the friend arrived and saw that it was a memorial service for "Ryan Lastname." She sat through the service, then talked to the sister-in-law after, and no one pointed out that they had used the name Ryan.

A few days after that, the sister-in-law called the friend and said to her that her and her husband "weren't sure" if they were still planning on naming their baby Ryan, and asked if they wouldn't mind CHANGING the name since it would always remind them of their miscarriage.

Now, at this point, the friend was already into the third trimester and had been referring to this baby as Ryan from the get-go. The baby has never had any other name in their minds. She explained that she would talk to her husband and get back to them. They talked and decided they were sticking to Ryan, so the friend called her sister-in-law back to let them know.

Well... the sister in law is livid. She's telling everyone in the family that the friend stole her dead baby's name, and that she BEGGED them to change it, and they refuse. She said she can't even be in the family anymore because she will always have to be around the name of her dead baby.

Now there is huge awkwardness in the family and her friend is beside herself, not knowing what the right thing to do would be at this point.

Thoughts?

Comments

[snoglobel.livejournal.com]

This is obviously from one point of view, and I am sure we would see another side to the story if we heard it from the SIL herself. However - they knew this was a possibility, because they knew of the family's intention to use Ryan. If it were up to me, I would not have named the fetus anything at so early a stage. (My mom miscarried a boy at 18 weeks and didn't name it anything... and then ended up using the intended name for my younger brother)

I guess I feel like: "too bad". It's just a name. And a fairly common one at that. I feel bad for the husband and his brother, getting caught up in the situation. It almost sounds as though SIL was looking for a reason to get mad and split up the family. When the living child is around most people will forget the dead fetus, and hopefully even its mother can get beyond it and have more children.

I would definitely still use the name.

[thismakebelieve.livejournal.com]

I wish I could hear the story out of the sister-in-law.

[prlsb4swiine.livejournal.com]

Agreed, I've seen stuff like this before. Crazy women going insane with grief and trying to take down the whole family with them. Y'know the whole "I'm suffering so you should suffer too" psychology.