Annoyed....

[elizebethjoy.livejournal.com]

I'm a little appalled after reading some of the responses in gothikbutterfly's post. Specifically, when folks were saying stuff to the effect of "what were they thinking?" in reference to the parents of someone with an "odd" name. Really, what do you do when you meet someone whose parents were from the Ukraine, or some other place where the names aren't familiar to most Americans? Do you really make a snap judgement on that person's parents? Don't you think that's a little closed-minded? How about assuming something good, like that their parents are from an exotic place, or have a interesting family background?

On a slightly different topic: I know people feel strongly about names, but tact is an important part of being a member of society. It IS possible to not like a name, or a person's opinion, and not trash that person using strong and, sometimes, innapropriate language. It would be great practise to try to phrase your opinions in such a way that you don't cause new members to run away crying. I mean, come on, gothikbutterfly's baby was due yesterday, and some of you treated her like garbage. Couldn't you find a more eloquent way of expressing yourself?

And for the record, there were some posts from people who didn't like the names she suggested, and were able to say so in a way that fostered conversation and constructive feedback. Thank you so much for being here and for speaking up.

Comments

(frozen)

[turabiannights.livejournal.com]

While I agree with the general tone of your post, I would like to point out that several people objected to its being from an anime cartoon. It's one thing to be judgmental of legitimate cultural names, but quite another to be critical of names that are derived from pop culture. Names like Atreyu get exactly the same reaction, and I'm not convinced that's not a legitimate reaction to have. So yes, we should all be polite about it - but that doesn't mean that a weird name sometimes isn't just a weird name.

(frozen)

[elizebethjoy.livejournal.com]

If the comments I had been, er, commenting on had been specifically about a name from pop culture, I would have reacted differently. Instead, it was about "odd names."
http://community.livejournal.com/baby_names/380247.html?thread=6673751#t6673751

Sorry to pick on you, pmegan, this was just the easiest example to find.

But I do thank you for arguing in a way that is constructive and non-inflammatory. :)

(frozen)

[turabiannights.livejournal.com]

Ahh, see, I thought you meant comments on Chasval generally.


For me, personally, it depends on "what type of odd" the name is, if that makes sense. I don't find names like Chukwuebuka or Sasha Red Feather particularly remarkable, since it's obvious those are cultural names. I DO have my thoughts about the parents when I meet a little Nickthaniel or Tyrannee because it's obvious those names are not. It really just depends.

(frozen)

[elizebethjoy.livejournal.com]

Argh, I hate it when I think of something I meant to say after I've already hit the post button...

Regarding your last line:
"but that doesn't mean that a weird name sometimes isn't just a weird name."

I have to agree with that, to an extent. Sometimes I'll read the names given to children in Utah for a giggle... (if you haven't seen them, I'll have to pull up the link.) But what happens if I name my son, just for example, Robert, and then we move to a foreign country? This is a very possible scenario, as we're looking to move to the South Pacific in about 8 years. What happens if the folks in our new town think that my son has a "weird" name? Is that something I should consider before we move there, or should we rename him so that he fits in better once we get there?

This is a long-winded protest to the thought process of "Raluca has a weird name... what the heck is wrong with her parents?" It doesn't apply to many of the people here who are actively trying to find names for their kids, just to those who are closed-minded about names on people that they have met. Meh, I'm starting to talk in circles... did this make any kind of sense? :/

Anyways, if I wanted to name my child after a family member in my husband's family (he's half Chinese and half Malaysian) I wouldn't come here to ask opinions. I can already guess what a good portion of the response would be; "It's just too WEIRD!" It's unfortunate that the knee-jerk reaction overrides the fact that it would be a family name.

(frozen)

[turabiannights.livejournal.com]

Haha, I didn't see this until after I made my post above. I think cultural names are an entirely different story. It's one thing if you get a Chinese name and move to America, or get an English name and move to Namibia, etc. etc. Those are real names real places with real cultural significance - who's to say those are bad? Sure, they're "weird" in that they're foreign, but there isn't an inherently bizarre and laughable quality about them (unless they translate poorly into local phonetics - I saw a little Jizem online the other day and wanted to cry for her). What I personally find troubling or laughable is when a parent doesn't have enough respect for their kid to give them a decent name. It's very nice if you love stamp collecting, or recycling, or indie film - that's no reason to name your child Philatelia or Greenworld Birdsong Togetherness or Hedwig AngryInch. It's also very nice that you want to give your kid an unusual name - there are plenty of unusual names out there without resorting to Kassity Ameryliz Me'Hagonie or King Richard Lionheart or pretty much the entire population of Utah ;) It's one thing to give your child a legitimate name that might make them stand out a little in other places, or even at home. It's quite another to force them to stand out with a silly name.

That's how I feel about it, anyway.

(frozen)

[elizebethjoy.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on all points above. :) So how do you feel about Lothar the Destroyer? Or Lothara, Devourer of Souls (for a girl, of course)? :D I told my Mom that was what we going to name our spawn and she had to think for a moment to realize that I was joking.

Again, the only thing that rubs me wrong is when folks hear a name and immediately assume that their parents wanted their kid to be made fun of. When I mentioned the name Raluca, I was talking about a friend of mine who is Romanian, but has no accent. I can easily imagine someone meeting her and thinking awful things about her parents, and that saddens me.