WDYT?

[chillinbabejodi.livejournal.com]

When my SO's sister Shauna died my SO decided to adopt her daughter Elle (pronounced Ellie). So now we are the pround parents of Ashton Thomas Rhys Abbott and Elle Abigail Abbott. Elle is 2 in November so it isn't really an option to change her whole name but I wondered what you think about changing her middle/ giving her another middle name (as it is really important to my SO that his children have two middles)? We've also considered changing the spelling from Elle to Ellie to make things a little easier for her later (considering she doesn't know how to write her name yet) and it wouldn't affect her yet. WDTY? Should we leave her name as it is? If not, any ideas of what we could change her name to? I was thinking of Ellie Shauna Abigail, but i'm not sure.


EDIT: We've decided to definately leave her the spelling as Elle. We've also decided to keep Abigail as a nickname.  Although we are a little confused as to wether or not we should add her mothers name as a nickname to honour her mother as Shauna died before Elle had the chance to really get to know her mother and has no real connection to her mother and we think it may be a nice tribute. On the other hand, we're unsure as to wether or not we should just leave the name how Shauna left it. Your thoughts really are appreciated.

Comments

[juniorfan29.livejournal.com]

In answer to your first question...depending on what you think of the name Ellie, it's not to late to change it. Slightly. Ellie seems like a little girl's name, so if you wanted to give her a name that might follow her better into adulthood you could change her name to somethine like Ellen or Gabriella or Janelle. Something that could still have Ellie as a nn. This is what my aunt and uncle did with the little girl they adopted (Lily to Lilyan). Also, I say that if you really want her to have a different/two middle names, then go for it. She's young enough that it's not going to have a big, huge, shocking, life altering change if you do.

[batting0.livejournal.com]

I second this idea--you can still change her whole name if you both are not fond of Elle, and still use Ellie as her nn.

Personally, I don't think Shauna flows well with Ellie and Abigail...

[chillinbabejodi.livejournal.com]

I don't think it flows either, but my SO wants to honour his sister.

[arbus.livejournal.com]

it doesnt need to "flow" perfectly. the meaning far outweighs something meaningless like that.

also, i think elle shauna abigail sounds just fine.

[den-snilek.livejournal.com]

I think they should honour her mother as best as they can. When I adopt, my children will be given my name I have chosen for them, but still retain the name their birth parents gave them as my way to honour the sacrifice made. Regardless, I think if he feels the parents named her in great joy, he should leave it... but adding a name to it is a great option.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't change her name. That's what her mother named her.

[americandiva.livejournal.com]

I agree

[amyames.livejournal.com]

i agree. i would be sad if someone changed my children's names.

[jamie-marie.livejournal.com]

I agree.

[chirpygirly.livejournal.com]

I agree .

Speaking from experience, it's not just sad for a parent, it's disrespectful to change their child's name. And doing it to a baby, is violating their rights, because the name is theirs alone, it's their legal identity, and one of the few things that connect a child to the one who carried it, nurtured it, gave it life. The choice on whether to keep or change their given name, should be there's alone to make, when they are old enough, and know all the facts, all the ins and outs of names and the legalities of changing one.

I feel this way even concerning odd names. In such cases, I would first try to come up with a nick name derived from the "odd" given name. If nothing worked, then the only exception I think would be appropriate, would be using in existing middle name if it was more 'normal', or just adding a more 'normal' middle name and using it as a first name.

I think the mother and her child should be honored by the name chosen/given. Even though the pronunciation 'Ellie' is not what most are accustomed to, it's not far off from how it's spelled (Elle), and for a little girl, Ellie works. When she's older, she can decide to either stick with the 'Ellie' pronunciation, or switch to the 'Elle' pronunciation, heck she could even use both, if she wanted. I believe the choice should be hers to make, when she's mature enough.

[fireyirishangel.livejournal.com]

This, completely.

I'd be heartbroken if someone changed my daughter's name. I adore her name, and it's what her father and I chose for her. While the idea of honoring Shauna is nice, I think it should be up to Elle if she'd like to change her name later, or potentially to use the name on her own future children.

I also agree that she could very well choose to go by Elle (pronunciation) rather than Ellie when she's older.

[zorianna.livejournal.com]

I think changing her name just because you might not be fond of it is a little disrespectful. Your SO's sister gave her a name that she picked, and probably spent a lot of time choosing while she was pregnant. And if I was Elle, I don't think I'd like that my name was changed from what my birth mother chose for me.

If honoring his sister is important, consider instead honoring her in some way in the names of future children. I understand your intentions, and don't think you are trying to be disrespectful (I think you are intending to do the opposite) but it just comes across that way to me, an outside observer.

[x-cherrydarling.livejournal.com]

i think you should leave her name the way it is because i think it's more of an honor to leave her daughter's name exactly the way she wanted it.

but if you wanted to change the spelling to ellie, that isn't so bad. have you considered keeping her first name elle, but pronouncing that like the letter L? and then just using ellie [the name and the spelling] as a nickname?

also, if you really wanted to use the name shauna to honor her, you could change one of your son's middle names to shaun.

sorry if none of that made any sense or isn't helpful at all.

[bouncepogo.livejournal.com]

have you considered keeping her first name elle, but pronouncing that like the letter L? and then just using ellie [the name and the spelling] as a nickname?

Exactly what I was going to say!

[glitterberrys.livejournal.com]

I'd leave her with the first name her mother gave her, but adding Shauna to her name seems like a nice gesture. I'd go with Elle Abigail Shauna, personally, because, again, Elle Abigail is the name her mother gave her. That's just me though.

[so-there.livejournal.com]

I agree with this exactly. add mom's name as a second middle name, and leave ther rest as-is.

[lind-saay.livejournal.com]

I'd stick with Elle as the first name, but pronounce it like the letter L, and then use Ellie as a nickname. Elle is much more sophisticated sounding for when she's older, and it's also the name her mother gave her.

I think giving her the middle name of Shauna would be nice.

Elle Shauna Abigail (with Elle pronounced as L) sounds great.

[heure-actuelle.livejournal.com]

completely agreed

[nandy-pandy.livejournal.com]

I would keep it "Elle" but just call her both Elle and Ellie; I think Elle would be great when she grows up, but Ellie is a cute nickname, and they're not radically different.

[lilmizmombassa.livejournal.com]

I think that you should keep her name Elle (prn. Ellie, like how your SOs sister wanted it) Abagail. I wouldn't add another middle name unless it were to be Shawna; I think it's a nice tribute to your SOs sister and it isn't deleting what her mom gave her. Elle Abagail Shawna I think is a nice name.

[politicking.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't change the name that the sister picked out... but you could start calling her "Elle" (prn like the letter L)? As for adding her mother's name, I think that would actually be a really nice tribute! Elle Abigail Shauna Abbott would be really nice.

[crzydimond.livejournal.com]

Adding her mother's name as another middle name would be nice, but I would DEFINITELY not change her other names.
Her mother named her that and so it would be a nice way to keep her connected to her in the future.

[0o-faerie.livejournal.com]

I'd leave it Elle, but I see you already decided on doing that, too =).

As for the other question...I personally would just leave the name as it is. Adding her mother's name to her names would be a nice tribute indeed, but -and I really don't mean this in a harsh way - it doesn't help the connection to her mother. She'd have a better connection if you would just tell her stories about her mom, show her pictures and things like that (but maybe you're already doing so).
And then the name could just remain as her mother intentioned it to be! =)

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I wasn't going to comment, since I'm a little late on this topic, but I do have to disagree with you just a tiny bit.

My middle name is Elena, after my paternal grandmother. She ended up dying when I was three, before I had made any lasting memories with her. However, because I have her name as a part of mine, I always feel like she is with me. All of my other grandparents were deceased before I was born, and although I have heard wonderful stories about all of my grandparents, I don't feel as connected to them. It's not just because I actually "knew" my grandmother, but also because I have her name.

[0o-faerie.livejournal.com]

That's really nice =).

I suppose it's completely depending on the person then. Some people would like the middle name from the (grand)mother they never got to know, others don't see how a name could be of any relevance to the connection with the person in question.

Good to hear an opinion from someone who actually has experience with this subject!