(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/-lavender-blue-/]

What do you think of the name Spencer for a girl? It's one of my faves!

Also, in general, what do you think of using names for girls that are typically used for boys? I love Dylan and Shane for a girl too :)

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/-lavender-blue-/]

THANK YOU! :). i don't understand the problem myself. All names were made up at one point and put on a certain gender. It's not a rule or anything...

[aquilinum.livejournal.com]

I think the problem is that boys' names are used on girls to make the girls sound "stronger", "spunkier", or other such adjectives — implying that femininity is somehow mutually exclusive to strength and spunkiness.

When a name has crossed over to use on a girl, it then becomes too "weak" for use on a boy. It's — with RARE exception — a one-way naming world. Traditionally male names are intended to strengthen, and a name seen as feminine is off-limits to males as it may seem to weaken.

If you're honestly wanting to "fuck other people's narrow definition of gender", perhaps the best, most impactive way to do this would be to name a boy a girl's name — as subscribing to the age-old practice of bolstering your female with a boy's name is exactly as conformist, demeaning and traditional as history suggests.

[azelmaroark.livejournal.com]

This is an awesome comment. I care more about practical success in the real world for my children than using their names to "fuck narrow definitions of gender," so I wouldn't personally do it, but I think the above is absolutely spot-on. Also, I think names traditionally associated with girls can still sound "strong" (Alexandra, Meredith, Georgia, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Jane, etc). Avoiding cutesy, trendy, nicknamey given names (Kylee, Kaylee, Jaydyn, Madisyn, Kenzie, etc) is really the best way to make sure your daughter's name is taken seriously, IMO.

As for boys' names on girls, I don't have a one size fits all rule, but in general I don't love it just because a lot of them sound ugly to me. Spencer especially, although I coached an adorable girl named Spencer whose parents called her Spence. I think it could work on the right child, potentially, but I wouldn't seek it out.

As someone who's taught kids, trust me: when their teacher sees their name on the roster and doesn't know if they're a boy or a girl, most kids get VERY upset. We actually had kids calling two of our swimmers "Boy Taylor" and "Girl Taylor," (because we had a male and a female both named Taylor), and I don't think either was thrilled. Confusion would be the primary reason I'd avoid these names. They don't like it, believe me.

[azelmaroark.livejournal.com]

i'm just saying that when your child is born if dylan feels right, you should name her that regardless of what's between her legs.

Well, of course. Nobody said otherwise (I don't think people have been "mean," either; I find this community very honest, and they usually at least have a good point).

All we are saying is that it's a fact that when a teacher or an admissions committee or an employer reads "Dylan" on a sheet of paper, they're going to think "boy," and it's your child who is going to have to deal with that, not you. It's not a horrible thing to have to correct, and for this reason I don't think anybody has said that it's absolutely unacceptable to name a girl that, but it does create problems in our society that could be avoided. No matter how much you don't like it, that's the way things are, and if there are other names you like just as well that are more recognizably feminine, they might be better choices for this reason.

I don't take offense, and of course your kids will always find a reason to hate you. I think you're kind of missing our point in saying that we're being mean; I, at least, am not, just pointing out a fact that you should consider before actually using these names. Also, I know that a bunch of people in this community are far from "traditional."

For the record, I'm only recently warming up to Dylan on boys, and it's not a favorite of mine. Same for Shane and Spencer.

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

Well, when you say "Fuck people who ______ " I don't think it's incredibly unreasonable that some might be offended.

I don't get how having names defined as male names and names defined as female names contributes to a narrow definition of gender. Gender exists. Names are used to quickly identify people. If you see 'Jennifer', you think 'female'. You probably also think, 'western or American'. Likewise, if you see a boy named Muhammad, you probably think, 'Muslim male'. I wouldn't advocate giving a white Christian kid from Iowa the name 'Muhammad', for basically the same reason I wouldn't advocate giving a girl a boy's name. It gives people false assumptions, and creates a huge amount of confusion for the kid to have to deal with. If you want to fuck with gender stereotypes, change your name to a male name, but let the kid decide for themselves.

If you had a son, and the name Jessica 'felt right', would you name him Jessica? It just seems to me that a lot of people who complain about narrow definitions of gender would never even contemplate using a girl's name on a boy.

[ouronlylight.livejournal.com]

WORD. Thanks for so eloquently summing up my feelings on the matter. :)

[freezemyazaleas.livejournal.com]

I just like certain boys' names on girls because I like the way they sound, not to make some statement on gender roles. I don't give a fuck if they sound "strong" or "spunky" or "weak" or whatever.