babynames | Some questions...

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Some questions...

I have a quick question...or two I'm not sure if this has been posted about before, so I'm sorry if it has been. But what do you all think about giving a child a first name and a middle name, but preferring the child to be called by their middle name? I have met several people in the past few weeks, including a girl named "Tochi Crystal" who is called "Crystal," and "Salvatore Tad," who is referred to as "Tad". What do you think of this?

Also, what do you think about naming a child specifically so you can call them by a specific nickname? For example, my friend is one of three, and her parents picked out each child's nickname first, and then matched the nickname with a first name. For example, they decided on the nicknames "Mandy, Tori, and Erick" before they decided on the first names, and now they only want their kids to be called by their nicknames. Personally, I find this to be strange, if you want your child to be referred to by a specific name, why don't you make it their first name? But I wanted to see what you all think! Maybe you have done the same thing, and can give me some insight into this practice...

Thanks!

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The first one kinda bothers me, but not really. I know a couple of people who do that, one girl i know actually does a nickname for her middlename (ruth elizabeth, goes by betsy). I know a boy who's a jr. so to avoid confusion with his father he goes by his middle name.

The second one just seems silly. On the flip side though, My friends parents didn't name her little brother Alexander because they wanted him to be Alexander, but figured everyone would call him Alex.

I feel the same way about both of your questions: If you really want a child to be called by a certain name, just give your child that name as the first name.
Personally, I have never considered certain nicknames as a factor for picking out a name. I have always gone with what I liked.

My mom goes by her middle name, so it seems totally normal to me. I think a lot of times what happens is that parents like a two names together but the name they want as the first name sounds better in the middle, so they put it in the middle and then just call the kid by their middle name. (Like with my mother, they wanted to name her Christene after a grandmother, and Frances after my grandfather's sister. But they thought that Frances Christene sounded better than Christene Frances, so that's how they did it). It can be kind of annoying to always have to be correcting people at school and such when they call you by your first name, but I don't see a problem with it.

Same for the nickname question. I think most people like to give their kids more dignified, longer names rather than just giving them a nickname. (i.e. James instead of Jimmy). A lot of people use nicknames, so what difference does it make if it was planned from the beginning or not? Also, the problem arises where Jimmy or Bobby, for example, are cute for little kids but when they grow up they'd rather go by James or Robert. So it makes more sense to give them a full name instead of giving a nickname as their first name.

"I think a lot of times what happens is that parents like a two names together but the name they want as the first name sounds better in the middle, so they put it in the middle

That's how my mom was- She wanted my name to be Nicole, but didn't like how it sounded as a first name with my last name, so I ended up with the name Lisa Nicole. I've always been known as Lisa though, although for years I wanted to be Nicole

Nicknames are fine, but I prefer to give my child the name that I'm going to call him/her. For example, if I love the name Eliza and plan on calling my daughter that, I'm not going to put Elizabeth on the birth certificate. Ditto for calling my son Abram and putting Abraham on the birth certificate.

This whole formal/nickname controversy is silly to me. Just name the kid what you're going to call them and be done with it. Just my two cents! :)

I understand the nickname thing to a degree. If your favorite name is, say, Cindy (my 7th grade best friend's nickname, her mother's favorite name), you might not want to name your daughter that because it sounds less "professional" or "adult" than Cynthia (the name she ended up giving her daughter), and your child won't ALWAYS be a cute little kid.

The middle name thing I don't get, though, although I know my mother thought about naming me Irene after her mother and giving me a middle name she actually liked so she could call me that.

And though I prefer "Victoria" to "Tory," if I ever have a little girl I'll name her Victoria and call her Tory just so people won't call her "Vicky," which I despise.

I definately think that if you want your child to be called something you should just name them that. It's not difficult to no have you kid have a nickname. My name is Kristin and I have never been called Kris, Kristy or anything of the sort because my mother insisted that I be called by my full name. Most people really don't have the audacity to call someone by a name they are not introduced to them as. As for wanting a child to be called a certain nickname I think just name them that unless it's overly cutesy but usually if someone has been called something their whole life they will retain the name even when they get older. My grandma still calls my Dad billy when he probably should be a Bill by now the same with my cousin who is 19 and everyone still refers to him as billy. I think people will call people whatever they are introduced as and what they are used to calling them even when they have grown out of the name. So if you really like the name Maddy or Alie i see no problem just naming a child that name.

I can sort of understand using the middle name; it makes more sense to me than naming for the nickname, anyway. I think people ought to just name the child what they are going to call him/her. My name is Catherine and I've never gone by any nickname, except my friends occasionally calling me 'Cat.' I've always loved the name Will- which could be short for William. But if I have a boy and we decide on the name Will, that's going to be his name, not William. Also, I know a boy whose parents named him Andy, not Andrew, because they liked Andy better. Anyway, I definitely agree with you.

I know a load of people who go by their middle names. Usually I think it's because they picked the two names out but it didn't flow with the preferred name first, or that the initials are something bad or something.

I see what you mean about nicknames but I think it is nice to give a child the full name. That way they have the option when they're older of going by the full name or shortening itto somthing else or whatever.

I don't really get the calling your kids by their middle name thing. It doesn't really make a lot of sense. If there's a family name or something that you want to pass down, make it their middle name instead.

The nickname thing is an interesting thing. I do get what people are saying about naming you child the name you're going to use, but I would prefer to give them the full name. My mother's name is Jill. Just Jill. She always says that she wishes her parents had called her Jillian, because she thinks it's more appropriate in the professional setting where she works. She would prefer to be able to introduce herself as Jillian, but tell people to call her Jill. It is definitely a preference thing though.

Our family has always had the idea that before anyone names their children, imagine them grown up and in an office environment. While a name might be cute, would it be appropriate in a business setting if that is where they might end up working?

When I was growing up, I thought it was a rule that all women went by their first names and all men went by their middle names. It took me until I was probably a young teenager to realize that it was only really my family, and not the norm. My dad, brother, uncle, several male cousins, just lots of men in my family, have always gone by their middles names from the very start. Actually, where I work, we've got many men who go by their middle names (I can think of 4 right off the bat), so maybe it was actually a tradition for a while.

I am Sarah Katherine, I go by Katie. Honestly, I have always kind of hated it. I mean I love my name but when starting school/doctors office/etc I am always called "Sarah" ... So when I get married I am dropping the Sarah and having Katherine as my first name.

If you want your kid to have a name...just give them that name. I don't like the first/middle switch at all...why not just flip them around? It's one thing if the child decides when they are older that they prefer one or the other.

My husband and I had trouble with this, b/c I don't like nicknames, thankfully after 26 hours of labor it wasn't a problem and we have an Abigail, not an Abby :-) And woe bet to anyone who tries to call her such.

well, as to the first, i think that unless the name you really prefer just sounds odd as a first name, but better as a middle, then just name your child the name you like right off the bat.

And as for the second, that's ridiculous i think. i knew a girl whose mother loved the name "Maggie", so that's what she named her. Why name your child Margaret if you really want her to be a Maggie?

I know I peronally had this happen to me - the nickname bit. My father was a HUGE history person, and he decided to name me Alexandria after the ancient capital, but my nickname was and has always been 'Alix' - after the last Russian Czarina. It's what I go by, and I asked him why he didn't just name me Alix if that was the name he wanted to give me - why name me a longer version w/ a different spelling. He had no answer other than it was 'two birds with one stone'. i'm even considering just changing my name legally to Alix.

I seem to be in the minority, but I have no problem with either. I went by my middle name until I was 8 or so and then switched.

One of my pregnant friends is having this discussion with her husband...they both agree to call their son Kale, but she thinks that Andrew Kale Johnson flows better than Kale Andrew Johnson (I agree) and he doesn't think they should name him in that order unless they are going to call him Andrew.

I think if you like a longer name with a particular nick-name go for it and call you kid the nick-name you like...they may choose differently when they get older though, like I did with my first/middle. My son's name is Benjamin and we like Ben and Benji, but not Benny, so we usually call him Benji and people have picked that up.

I don't understand the calling someone by their middle name, either. If you like that name better, then make it their first name.

The nickname thing, like others have said, when the kid grows up, they might want the full name.

1) I can see why people might want to do that (with a jnr. or whatever), but it seems like it would cause unnecessary problems having to explain the situation.
Incidentally the only people I know who go by their mns chose to do so themselves as adults.

2) doesn't bother me at all. I generally do prefer formal names as they sound more mature. It also gives the bearer more options in later life.
My given name was originally a short form of a longer/traditional name. And I'd much rather have had the latter, because my given name is the only variant thereof I which don't like.

i was reffered to as "kris" my middle name for the first 4 years of my life. when i started school i was registered as "samantha." i didnt even know my own name

I don't think going by a middle name is that strange. My boyfriend's name is Michael Kelly, but everyone calls him Kelly. A friend of mine is Solange (it's french) Sydney, but she goes by Sydney. Personally, I kinda like it ^^

I think it's handy to have a middle name that the kid may choose as their own nickname down the line, but it shouldn't be the primary plan. Unless it's a "Jr." situation, I'd stick to first name as your favorite. After all, that's what will be heard on roll call, etc. ... much more than the middle.

-sb

I don't get the middle name thing either, although I know people who do. Mostly it only seems to make sense if you're named after a living relative and using the same first name as them would be confusing.

I can kind of understand that you might like a nickname but pick the full name as the official name, though. However, I think you should only do this if
- You actually like the full name (no use hating Amanda but using it so she can be called Mandy)
- You don't INSIST on the child going by the nickname only (if you called her Amanda she should be allowed to be called Amanda dammit!)

Personally I like the idea of having a more formal name and a nickname as two options, as long as you actually like both of them.

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