STOLEN NAMES

[babyjess8.livejournal.com]

My friends kept the name of their baby a secret until he was born, because they knew that as soon as they told people what they liked someone else would "steal" it. Now I know names are not copyrite but still some people have original names that they like and want to ensure they stay original (and are not taken for friends children!)

Here is my point... when I was about 15ish, maybe younger (so about 7 years ago), I read a book and fell in love with the main character - a blonde guitar playing, sandy haired surfer. After discovering his name meant "Happy one" I instantly decided my future son would have his name.

Up until now I've heard it used sparingly, but all of a sudden it seems to be more and more popular, and it's bugging me. Everywhere I turn on this forum has it listed. I LOVE the name so much, and have for a long time, but the impending 'common-ness' kinda irritates me. Has anyone had a similar problem??

(FYI the name in question is Asher...)

Comments

[greenstripe.livejournal.com]

We had the same problem with Aidan. I know an irishman named that from long ago and wanted to name my son after him. After the huge popularity surge of that name, we decided against it when the time came.

What was your friend's name that they kept secret?

[http://users.livejournal.com/swizzle_/]

Us too with Aidan. I haven't given any thought to baby names, well forever. I never really knew if I wanted kids. So, my husband picks up a baby name book in the store after we find out I am pregnant and sees Aidan and we both love it. There were no Aidan's at all when we were growing up (we are in our 30's). It wasn't until I joined this community that I Realized how popular it was. I was sad. But, we are having a girl so it doesn't matter. :)

[ky-whitney.livejournal.com]

Easton.

I told a few people the name before he was born. A girl I went to HS with ended up giving that as a middle name to her son. That child is now my step son.

Now I have a Trent Easton and an Easton Allen.

I have also seen the name thrown out several times in this community.

[larka.livejournal.com]

That's a great family story. Unless it all came about through terrible events, in which case it's sad family story. But still. Funny how things work out.

[quietlymanic.livejournal.com]

I find it funny that your son's names are cities in Pennsylvania :D (and Trenton is the capital of New Jersey)

[cluckydude.livejournal.com]

That's my association with Asher, too!

My ex really wanted a child named "Ash" Ashley for a girl, Asher or Ashton for a boy. I am against Ashley, big time, but Asher is still on my list, because of that book.

[stormimay.livejournal.com]

LOL. I and my best friend were just talking about that last night, concerning the name Asher. Asher has been one of my favorites for 17 years, when I wrote a story with the main character's name Asher. Asher has been my best friend's favorite name for the past 12 years. She and I met each other 9 years ago, so we didn't get it from each other. But neither of us like common names. So we share your pain. :(

[jazzypanda.livejournal.com]

I'm going to use a name that one of my friends named their child, Xander. It's not stealing because my husband and I loves the name from a movie that came out about 5 years ago. I'm not looking for telling her the name when the boys are born, but she'll have to deal with it.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

When I was 17 I volunteered at an art camp and there was this adorable little boy named Noah. Then and there I decided I would name my future son Noah. Fast forward 5 years I get together with my now fiance and he likes the name also. We decide it is at the top of our list. Two years later his brother and sister-in-law name their son Noah. Oh well. Also it because reeeeeally popular in general.

Incidently, my current, and for a few years, favourite boy's name is Asher as well. I adore it. I love it's meaning "blessed". I love that it's spelled the same in Hebrew and English with just a different stress (ASH-er= English, Ash-AIR= Hebrew)
I will name my first son Asher Everett, I don't care how popular it is getting. The only thing is my fiance's brother and sister-in-law are pregnant again, knowing that we have, obviously, similar taste in names a I fervently hoping that if they have a son they do not name him Asher!

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

Love your icon! Rizzo and Kenickie are hot.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

thank you, I love them!

[ber-waves-of.livejournal.com]

My brother and sis-in-law just had a baby and they stole my girl name - Violet. They did not tell anyone what name they had picked until she was born, so it was a total shocker to me, and I think it was pretty crappy considering I am currently pregnant and that was my choice if I have a girl. I am VERY upset about it, but slowly getting over it. Now I know better than to tell people my name choices. You can't trust anyone :(

By the way, I think Asher is a great name, and if you love it, go for it. Even if it becomes popular, it will still have a personal meaning for you.

[krosp.livejournal.com]

Grrr!

Call her Violet anyway, and when they get angry, act all surprised and be like, "But you knew I was going to call her that!"

And whenever people comment on the "coincidence" you can just say "Yes it's funny, I have always planned to call my daughter Violet"

*evil grin*

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

I agree! If you've been saying all along this pregnancy that you were going to name her Violet, I'd use the name anyway. If you weren't pregnant I might not use it, though.

[mooselet.livejournal.com]

I kept my name secret from the online communities for that reason. I didn't want anybody to hear it and say, "Hey, I never thought of that! I like it!" and then use it. At least not until my little Tucker was already born and named.

But in real life, especially among pregnant family and friends, I think you're better off sharing your name picks. That way you can stake your claim and no one will accidentally steal your favorite. They may very well do it deliberately, I suppose, but I like to think most people wouldn't.

[katiesthoughts.livejournal.com]

I've pretty much told everyone our boy choice, John. It's our dads' name. I really don't care as it is pretty common. It will be nice for no one to ever mispronouce his name!

[paeid04.livejournal.com]

I hate when that happens!!! I love the name Olivia Grace. Oliver was my granddaddy's name, so I thought it would be cute. Now there are 37483942 Olivia Grace's running around. And my cousin and his wife also are planning on naming their daughter Hannah Grace. My boyfriend and I have been picking out names lately (I'm not pregnant, just for when we do have kids), and I think I'm going to keep it a secret, because I hate when people "steal" names! lol

Asher is really cute, though. And I haven't heard it too much!

[babity.livejournal.com]

Something similar happened with Aurora, I almost never heard it, and it seemed like the perfect girl name. I was thrilled with how few people used it, desite how beautiful of a name it is. Then on my due date board on another site, it was in almost everyones top 5! I ended up having a boy, but before I knew that I decided that I loved the name enough that even if every other person on my street had a little girl and named her Aurora, I would too.

[babity.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I totally tell everyone my baby names ASAP, that way if anyone else comes up with it afterward, the world knows who had it first. Maturity is over rated, lol.

[heyitsrebecca.livejournal.com]

That's how I feel too. =)

[mcmommy.livejournal.com]

A girl I went to high school with that knows I just had a baby and named him Dominic is undoubtedly naming her unborn son Dominic. Rawr. I feel your pain!

[sotypical42483.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. You can't get upset when someone "steals" the name Jayden from you...

[heyitsrebecca.livejournal.com]

I never keep my name choices secret. And I've found that most of the time when people finally name their kid their 'secret' name, it's something really crappy I'd have never used anyway.
There was a mom on a month board I was on, who made a big deal about no one 'stealing' her babies name.. and in the end she named her: Kaylee. There's absolutely nothing special, unique, or interesting about Kaylee.
And also, I highly doubt that one ordinary person could pick an uncommon name, and singlehandedly be responsible for making it number one. Angelina Jolie, yes. Us, no.
And besides, if you love the name.. who cares? I would be thrilled if my kids' names became popular. That'd mean that there were a whole lot of well-named kids running around out there. LMAO

[maude.livejournal.com]

I plan on keeping the names of my children secret and the sex a surprise. Not so much that I'm worried people will steal the names, because my favorites are either pretty unusual or popular to the point that I don't care, but because I think it'll be really fun. People can bet on the sex, try to guess the name, etc...

[snailrevolution.livejournal.com]

Asher is such a cool name. :D

For me, my favorite girls' name is Olivia. Now, it is way super-popular. Booo. :p

[straight-outta.livejournal.com]

i associate it with the giver. i know that it sucks when names you love get popular, but the best advice i can give is to forget about it. it really, in the long run, does not matter if your child has to be called Asher W because there's an Asher C and Asher O in his class. if you like the name, you like the name.

[starrbyrd.livejournal.com]

Yes, that happened to me with my son's name, Tristan. I've loved it for 27 years and hardly ever heard it (yes, I'm an old mom) and once I name my son the name I've loved dearly for SOOOOOO long, I hear it everywhere. Not only that but people are starting to use it for girls, which drives me absolutely BATTY.

For those of you just thinking about names that you love now but aren't close to having any yet, take heart in the fact that the name that might be popular now will be past it's popularity by the time you have a child. Unfortunately for me, Tristan is on the rise, so it's only going to get MORE popular.

And yes, I personally know 4 Olivia Graces, one of which is my niece. My SIL kept her name secret too and when she told me after her baby was born, I was surprised she felt the need to keep it secret since it was already so "popular".

Then again, I'm in the minority in that I don't give any credence to "stealing" someone's favorite baby name. I figure if it is a name you love, then name your child that name. Who cares if your neighbor, cousin, friend or whoever named their child that name already? Even if you see your friend all time or if there are two Olivia's in the family, each child is unique. What about Jr's? Heck, I was named after my mom and I always thought that was cool. (My name is Heidi by the way) And my very best friend named her first son Johannes (she's German) and it was her sister's favorite boys name so her sister asked if she would mind terribly if she also used Johannes. My friend said no, she didn't mind since if she didn't think it was a nice name she wouldn't have named her child that, so her sister named her first son Johannes too. So now, the two cousins have the same name. Big deal. They don't get together that often and even if they did, they'd figure out a way to keep them straight.

I think people get too upset about the whole "she/he stole our name" thing. It's not like most children won't come across SOMEone in the world with the same name at some point.

[levismommy.livejournal.com]

Yep. I decided on the name Colson (cole-sun) shortly after my son was born for my next son. I had never heard it before and I love it so much cause it will kind of be like memorial thing for my dad (long story). Well now I have heard like 4 Colsons, not so happy lol.

[krosp.livejournal.com]

I think Asher has risen with the general trend of Hebrew guys names becoming popular recently. But maybe previously it would have been thought of as a "weird" name, and now it might just be a less common name but not totally unheard of, which I think is the best type anyway.... because most people might have met one or two ever before in their life so the kid isn't often met with that what the...? reaction to their name. People can be really rude when they hear a new name sometimes.

[corielcries.livejournal.com]

While reading your post I was thinking "she must like Asher..." and I was right! Anyway I love the name a lot but have never heard it used on a real child. I think you would be safe using it. I never told anyone the final name for our baby until he actually came, though we didn't know if it was a girl or a boy. We are keeping the girl name to ourselves though for awhile longer.

[sageharper.livejournal.com]

Pretty much ditto heyitsrebecca and Starrbyrd
No man is an island ... and no name exists in a vacumn.

A few of my favourite names have become 'board popular' on comms or whatever; but it doesn't bother me. I just figure that means they'll be well received if I do use them. Not that I'll be having kids for years anyway, so might well change my mind when the time comes anyway.

I personally wouldn't use a name if I knew it has was special to someone I knew well/IRL. Just wouldn't be fair on them, they probably don't have such a long list as me. For the most part though my name choices are fairly offbeat so I'm not concerned they'd do that to me.

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

Although it is getting popular, it will still me somewhat uncommon. As someone else said, it's 'board popular' which may not give a proper representation of your area. I also agree with the person that said name trends change. There's a reason for that.. people are exposed to the same influences. There was even someone here who liked the same name for the same reason, no? Also, as someone else said, I think people who kinda like Ashley turn to Asher because they think Ashely is too feminine. I personally love Ashley and would use it on a boy in a heartbeat. A bit of that is Evil Dead love, though.

My name was always unusual to people, but I've been noticing more and more Merediths lately. Looking back at census dealies it makes sense, as it was really gaining in popularity as a girl's name around when I was born. So, we're seeing a lot more Merediths in the media and such now, but not when I was growing up.


With our first daughter, we told everyone our possible names, mostly our parents but some friends as well, and everyone just had negative things to say about certain names. Our names weren't too out there, but everyone hated one of the top contenders-- Edith Catrine-- and that really upset me. I know Edith is a little fuddy duddy, but I liked the idea of kinda semi-naming a child after myself and my name is Meredith Catherine. It is a tradition in our family to carry on women's names in some fashion, so I do want to do this at some point. As it was, my daughter ended up with two first names and the middle name of my childhood cat that had just died, Sherman, which was a girl so I guess we did keep the tradition up, lol!

Anyway, my point is we are thinking of keeping names secret, but more because we don't want to deal with negativity again, or even just opinions. Noone seemed to like our daughter's name-- Brenna Rose, but when we actually named her that they all just loved it. I'm pretty sure we're going to get a few raised eyebrows from this name. Also, it'll make it more special for us when we do tell the family. We also plan on keeping the sex secret.We've toyed with the notion of not finding out, but we're just too curious but are kind of compromising with ourselves in not telling anyone else until the birth. Part of that is also that we got a bit of 'maybe it's a boy' after we told everyone it was a girl.

I'm a little different in that I don't want to tell our families our names, but am more okay telling them online. Our one super-secret girl name we won't tell anyone, but once we find out we're having a girl (not pregnant and not TTC for at least a year), I will be okay with bringing the name up in my communities because there is always going to be someone who dislikes the name. I just would feel bad if I let my name out now and 2 years from now when my little one is born there are other girls already popping up with that name, ya know? The name we've picked is from a movie and I know we don't live in a vacuum, but aside from the film, which wasn't super popular, and the author who the film is semi-fictionally-biographying I can not find this name mentioned anywhere. Not online, not in any baby books or baby name sites. The funny thing is I'm nor weird about OMG not using popular names, I just like that the name is original. So yeah, for now tell no one, when we find out the sex, tell the name in my communities, and then when the baby is born tell the family the name. I would not be so super-secretive about a name that occurred anywhere in a baby book, I don't think. I think it helps nor having clung to names for 20 years or something. I didn't really seriously start thinking baby names until I got pregnant the first time and I've never been a fan of taking names from books or movies, even though that's what we've done now.

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I'm not so secretive about future-girl's middle name, which will be Esme, as although it's not super-popular, it's well known and getting more popular.

I'm not secretive about future boys' names either as they're all pretty common.

As for our names overlapping with family names-- we've already had that happen once, My husband's cousin and his wife had a baby about a year after our daughter died, so she's about a year old now, and they named her Eleanor Mai. Tptally a name we wanted to use. My husband's grandmother, also his cousin's grandmother, is named May. I was upset for a second, but realized I was being silly and if we really like May all that much, it's just a middle name and we can go ahead and use it. Funny thing is, it's 'May' and they spelled it 'Mai' and we would spell it 'Mae'! :)




I did have a little argument with my brother a few years back because we both filled out some online survey and had picked the same names for our future children! I felt more entitled since it's tradition for the women to carry on the female family names, not the men. Lol, I just occurred to me that he's a Junior-- if he uses my mother's name (her mn is Elizabeth and my brother and I both like Eliza) I should threaten to use his name for my son! ;) Lol, anyway, I don't really care anymore. I've decided if either of us want it that badly, there'll just be two Elizas. I also might go with Elizabeth and call ehr Eliza.. lol, more proper family claim? :) Also, he s dating a different woman now, and marrying her, so perhaps her tastes are different than his ex's who like the same names he did. I was actually more concerned about my husband's sister's children's names as we live near his family and see a lot more of them (O've seen my brother 3 times in the last 3 years), but after seeing her list I realize I have nothing to worry about. We had a slight overlap with her liking Rosalind when our daughter's name was Brenna Rose, but I'm hoping if they use it it won't bother me as long as they don't use the same nickname. It's not so much a territory issue as me not wanting to get upset when I hear her name. I was pleasantly surprised at our complete difference in taste of names-- and it's not just me and her; she and her FH came up with their names as a couple as did my husband and I. They like some odd names I've never heard of, like Pastoria, and some I would never touch but think are okay, like Roland and Frank. I did have to laugh though, when while brainstorming they paired the fn Pastoria with the mn Lee-- Pastoria Lee.


Anywho..

[savingmysmiles.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't be upset by "stealing" if it happened online. For instance, someone on my friend's list named their child Helena. I have loved that name for years, and will not feel bad about still using it some day.

Name stealing in real life is another matter entirely though because it is more personal. My Uncle and his wife have waited quite a while to have children because she had cancer and had to keep taking the medication for a number of years. They didn't share their names, but his cousin just happened to take their girl name - Grace Ann. Now they are pregnant, but his other cousin, who got pregnant two months ahead of them, has chosen their top boy name - Jacob.

I hate to be a big immature baby, but I would be livid if someone in my family took one of my top names (on purpose, I mean). I'm pretty attached to them.