(no subject)

[lalazizara.livejournal.com]

So I'm sure we know how terrible Cabbage Patch kids names can be. I figured I would go through the site and pick out the ones that I thought did not flow well together or had really creative spellings. Boys and Girls names are mixed together.

Ashie Danielle
Aspn Iris
Aryna Trish
Becky Tonya
Ben Trent
Brantley Ralph
Callie Lari
Camella Mica
Charlena Dara

Chinara Jessi
Cian Cristo
Cookie Amelia
Dacian Deacon
Dasa Summer
Dayle Jodi
Deanie Dori
Dori Hope
Dott Kyla
Eamon Ean
Emma Scotlyn
Farand Farris
Faye Becky
Flo Gail
Gayle Patty
Genna Debra
Genna Diana
Geri Judy
Gracyn Aubrie
Gracyn Brooklyn
Hali Anna
Heather Madde
Heltiva Kelley
Irba Sandy
Ishmail Holt
Iva Karly
Ivy Lanea
Jasmine Flye
Jeannine Jolana
Joby Kaley
Joyse Kira
Juda Gracie
Jynna Whitney
Kala Shandia
Kara Kisha
Karrey Lane
Kendyll Diane
Kyle Tim
Lexie Jewelle
Loretta Sata
Maci Teagan
Madelon Kelsie
Madicyn Leslie
Maegan Xoe
Maggoe Ellen
Magie Chloe
Magie Kami
Makale Patty
Marcia Tanya
Montana Kendall
Natalyn Charlene
Noah Vaughn
Nola Jane
Olanna Caley
Opal Dena
Pat Tim
Porsch Serena
Presley Sarabeth
Ralph Lance
Rashida Toni
Rosana Terrell
Saul Silas
Soni Tara
Stella Tomoko
Summer Lauri
Tashia Carmen
Taylar Volky
Tifani Barb
Usher Kendall
Valerie Natyia
Vaughn Davie
Vickie India
Wayne Tom
Wiletta Nikki
Winona Stacye

Comments

[heyskeleton.livejournal.com]

Wow. A good portion of these are okay on their own, or would be if they were spelt correctly, but others are just like *headdesk* Farand Farris? Thank goodness Maggoe isn't real because they'd get called Maggot all the time.

My sister was lucky. Her Cabbage Patch doll was named Jocelyn. A friend had one named Carlotta, which I always liked.

[nobodynomore.livejournal.com]

The ones that cracked me up: Kyle Tim, Pat Tim, Wayne Tom.

Like who dafuq made these up?

[tzgmaeel.livejournal.com]

A friend had one named Carlotta, which I always liked.

[cremepuff.livejournal.com]

I received my Cabbage Patch doll on my first birthday, in 1985. Her given name? Marta Zabrina. Yes, Sabrina with a Z. There is actual video footage of my grandma reading her name out loud and making the funniest "WTF" face.

[lipsty.livejournal.com]

Who names Cabbage Patch dolls? The toy company? What a shame the children don't get to name them themselves. Or is that part of the gimmick?

[being-lola-star.livejournal.com]

The back story is that they're "picked" from the Cabbage Patch and then the child "adopts" them which means that they already have a name. A hilarious one it seems. I picture them spinning two MASSIVE wheels and shouting out name combos as people scramble to label the dolls.

[thejoysofjess.livejournal.com]

Some are named from the company, but if you visit the factory, you can name a baby. (Or at least you could back in the day. It's really expensive to buy the one you named, but if you don't buy it, it'll just go out for sale).

[http://users.livejournal.com/sparkleandfade_/]

One my third birthday in 1984, I got my first cabbage patch doll. A long brown haired girl that resembled myself named Kerrie korrie. on my oldest daughters (my mini me in looks) third birthday this past year, I handed her down. I love seeing Kerrie korrie back out in the arms of a little girl.

[lissalynn.livejournal.com]

My cabbage patch doll (which I got as a baby in the mid-80s) was named Mimi Sarah.

Not too awful, though I'm not a fan of Mimi.

[cairtirnin.livejournal.com]

My back in the eighties Cabbage Patch doll was Zelma Fae.

[hermione-vader.livejournal.com]

The biggest problem with these is that whoever named the dolls has no clue about flow. Wayne Tom? Really? That said, there are some names here that are actually pretty good on their own or when paired with something else.

Ishmail Holt and Eamon Ean are fascinating me, though. Who actually spells it "Ean"? And Emma Scotlyn---c'mon, even Kourtney Kardashian can spell Scotland correctly.

I did win a Cabbage Patch doll in a cake walk once, but I can't remember its name. Probably something like Amy Ashley, I think.

[laminy.livejournal.com]

I like:

Iris
Summer
Hope
Noah
Nola Jane

[imamaryanne.livejournal.com]

My CPK in '83 came with the name Missy Merry (yes, spelled Merry). You could send the adoption papers in with a name change and they'd send you back a changed certificate. I changed it to Merry Melissa. At the time, I thought the spelling for Merry was AWESOME. Now, I like Mary. I still have little Merry Melissa, but unfortunately neither of my sons seems to care about her too much.

[gemmagic.livejournal.com]

Mine was named Becky Denise. I strongly dislike their use of Becky as a first name instead of a nickname for Rebecca (perhaps someone named Becky/Rebecca disagrees?). I also dislike Denise altogether.

[silvermidnight.livejournal.com]

idk, Deanie Dori sounds pretty awesome!

My sister and I had Cabbage Patches named Ester and Ethyl.

[qalanjo.livejournal.com]

loling forever at Cian Cristo and Tifani Barb. Ishmail Holt is pretty awesome.