(no subject)

[lutine.livejournal.com]

My husband and I are having a really awful time choosing a name for our daughter due in December. We had a boy's name picked out, but as luck would have it, the ultrasound showed a girl. We like completely different styles of names - I got saddled with the most common name ever, so I like more uncommon names for girls. He likes traditional -cough-boring-cough- names. We went through one of those huuuuge baby name books highlighting ones we liked and none matched at all. Any name suggestions or advice for how to choose a name when you're at a stalemate?

For reference, my favorites are Athena, Kyra, and Jubilee (for sentimental reasons relating to a friend who passed away.) I also like Claire but my husband is English and can't really say it. The only name he really loves is Elizabeth. I offered to do Elizabeth as a middle name if I could choose the first and he refused because he says he hates all of my choices. It's getting so frustrating!

Comments

[so-there.livejournal.com]

athena and jubilee seem a bit out there for someone who likes "boring" names to accept, but it seems Kyra isn't that wierd.. maybe you could work out a compormist with some sort of variation.. Cara, Keira, etc. also Claire is Chiara or something like that in italian.. pronounced kee-ar-uh. which is still similar to Kyra.

[lutine.livejournal.com]

Chiara is his ex's name, so no on that one. ;) He actually likes Athena "best" of my names, but still not very much. I though Jubilee would be acceptable to him because the friend who passed away was a mutual friend of ours, but I guess not. :(

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

What about Juliette? Starts the same as your friend's name, isn't super common for you, nice and English for him. Juliette Elizabeth, for instance:)

or, one lady posted her naming style, which was to give her kids normal first name they could use in a professional life, and an odd/uncommon middle name, which is what she would call them. So you could do Elizabeth to please your husband, but pick absolutely whatever middle name you wanted with the compromise that she goes by your name until she can say otherwise. Elizabeth Jubilee:)

[lutine.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I hadn't thought of that - thanks!! He might still grump that he doesn't like my names, but it's a suggestion! I'm getting so frustrated because I feel like I'm being at least -somewhat- flexible and he isn't at all. :(

[jadedinnocent.livejournal.com]

If your husband is english and still has family there, i'd advise against Elizabeth Jubilee... especially since due date is in 2012. They will all think you are crazy/insanely royalist/ both, lol.

[lutine.livejournal.com]

Excellent point, haha. He originally suggested Victoria Elizabeth and I was like, "Could you get any more British??"

[jadedinnocent.livejournal.com]

my dad is british, and my middle name is Elizabeth, my brother's middle name is Charles - altho we were named after family members, everyone is still convinced that my mum has a secret obsession with the royals!

[lutine.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough, I'm more interested in the royals than he is (still not much, but he has zero interest in them)!

[satunian.livejournal.com]

LOL My name is Diana and I plan to name my son William! I hope few people notice any royal parallels, especially since it IS just a coincidence!

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

I am very thankful that my husband and I have similar naming styles, it's a breeze to come up with first names and, for the most part, he lets me figure out the middle name. But, your husband's stubbornness seems pretty common after my years on this community! Good Luck:)

[lutine.livejournal.com]

We both like more traditional names for boys (no idea why I feel differently about that!) so the boy's name was easy. :) I'm still hoping for a boy further down the line so we can use it!

[octobre09.livejournal.com]

Been there, done that. I don't have much advice but I do feel for you because I was in the exact same situation. It was so easy with my first daughter (Cléa), I said a name and he said he liked it and that was it. For my second daughter, it was AWFUL. I also liked less common name and he liked traditional. In the end I was so tired of arguing over it and the baby was coming soon so when he said he LOVED a certain name and I didn't completely hate it, I said okay that's her name. I figure since I chose Cléa's name...So our baby was named Sophie which isn't very common where I live (French Canada) so it's grown on me and now I love it obviously since my daughter is definitely a Sophie.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

I really like Athena.
I also like a lot of old fashioned English names (My daughter is an Eleanor).
Here are some suggestions:
Clara
Adelaide
Arabella
Aurora
Aurelia
Beatrix
Briony
Camille
Calista
Caroline
Cecilia
Cecily
Celeste
Charlotte
Isobel
Cordelia
Simone
Delilah
Diantha
Elspeth
Estelle
Stella
Eulalia
Georgiana
Gwendolen
Hazel
Violet
Helena
Imogen
Isadora
Katherine
Letitia
Leila
Linnea
Lydia
Lucinda
Lavinia
Mabel
Matilda
Mirabel
Norah
Olive
Penelope
Philippa
Rhiannon
Rosalie
Saffron
Scarlet
Seraphina
Selene
Tabitha
Vivian

[lutine.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Several of those were on my "don't mind" list actually, especially Violet and Tabitha. I like Rosalie a lot but my first son is Jacob and I don't want accusations of being a hardcore Twilight fan. ;)

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

FWIW I didn't realize it was a "Twilight name"
I've never read it so I only know Edward and Bella are.

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

My first thought was to maybe try to compromise with something like Elsabeth, which is still in the spirit of Elizabeth but isn't quite as common. Anyway, here, have suggestions:

Alyssum
Aspen
Aven
Briar
Clover
Cordelia
Delphine
Francisca
Juniper
Lydia
Millicent
Ophelia
Ramona
Sybil
Wren

[crazylolabean.livejournal.com]

Clara
Eliza
Lena
Lydia
Clea
Josphine
Lyra
Elise
Lisette
Audrey
Julianna/Julianne
Lily
Ivy

[how-obscure.livejournal.com]

You could maybe do a more common name with a less common nickname...or the opposite actually. Some of these are more common than others and some nicknames are completely made up, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to just put down everything I could think of off the top of my head.

Some ideas:
Elizabeth nn Eliza, Liza, Eli, Beth, Betty/Betti, Betsy, Iza, Zabe
Tallulah nn Lou/Lu, Lulah, Tally
Persephone nn Penny, Persi, Sephie
Penelope nn Penny, Nel, Ellie
Tabitha nn Beth, Bitty, Tabby
Georgiana nn George, Georgie, Giana, Gia, Gigi, Ana
Genevieve nn Neve, Nev, Vi, Viva, Genie, Genny, Gene
Sarah nn Sadie
Lavinia nn Vinny, Lana, Vinia, Nia
Isadora nn Isa, Dora
Hazel nn Hazy, Zel
Louisa nn Lou, Isa, Weezy
Zinnia nn Zia
Margaret nn Greta, Garet, Gary, Meg, Maggie, Mattie, Ret, Marge, Margie
Marjorie nn Jorie, Marjie, Marie
Octavia nn Tavia, Avia, Avi
Helena nn Lena
Natalie nn Nat, Talie, Atalie, Alie, Attie
Agatha nn Aggie, Gattie
Agnes nn Aggie, Nessie, Nessa
Adelaide nn Lady, Addie, Del
Thomasina nn Tamsin, Sina, Masey, Thom/Tom, Tommi
Theodora nn Thea, Dora, Theo, Teddi, Ora

Other names:
Rowena
Oriana
Verity
Junia
Hermione

[diekatze1.livejournal.com]

Speaking from experience, that my name is Anne Elizabeth (I had a stint for several years when I was a kid and wanted to go by my middle name) and I got the slew of bad middle nicknames that went with Elizabeth. Lizard lips, breath. tongue, anything. So just think about that before you give them that first name.

Generally in my experience with my siblings and brother in law and sister in law, you've got to think of any bad nicknames that some kid could give them in school when they get older.

[virtue.livejournal.com]

What do you mean by he can't say the name Claire because he's English?? I know a few English Claire's an no one has any trouble saying it?

[lutine.livejournal.com]

It just sounds like "Clayh." He's got a Northern Lincolnshire accent.

[felicitea.livejournal.com]

...how can he not say Claire?
How do you pronounce it, cause I'm English and it's not a problem for me.

edit: Just saw your above post, I should be more patient and let the page load.

[lutine.livejournal.com]

With an r at the end. :P Which doesn't get pronounced with a non-rhotic accent.

[felicitea.livejournal.com]

You mean like, Clayer?


Also, have you checked out variations of the names he likes?
Lisabetta
Elspeth
Elise ect.

Looking at this list (http://nameberry.com/list/29/Elizabeths-International-Variations) of international variations, I'm thinking maybe you lay down the law, announce your daughters name is going to be Bozsi or Yeghisapet, and see if he's ready to negotiate properly?

[felicitea.livejournal.com]

Ok, so apparently my reply has been marked as spam...
Like Clayer?

Also, have you checked out variations of the names he likes?
Lisabetta
Elspeth
Elise ect.

Looking at this list on nameberry of international variations, I'm thinking maybe you lay down the law, announce your daughters name is going to be Bozsi or Yeghisapet, and see if he's ready to negotiate properly?

[lutine.livejournal.com]

Very like Clayer if you smoosh it into one syllable. :)

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

I think you and your husband will be forced to compromise. And I propose an experiment that ultimately worked for us when we came to a name standstill.

Each of you should separately come up with a list of names that you think your spouse would like and that you do not hate. Once finished, talk them over together.

Figure out one name that you absolutely want in the name somewhere and stand up for it. Your husband should do the same. Then you'll each have something you love in the baby's name.

Be prepared to use nicknames as a compromise. (This is what we had to do for our boy name)

Once agreed upon a name, DO NOT let anybody talk you out of it simply because they don't like it. Remember that they don't need to like it.

Have the baby, never sleep again.

I find that this works well because you are forcing yourself to be understanding to your spouse instead of being defensive about your names. I was so sure of one name that my husband hated, and by doing this I found a name he LOVED and then eventually I figured out a way to make it mine also. And now I LOVE it.

[kitchen-poet.livejournal.com]

Oooh, can I ask the name you guys agreed on?

This might work for us. My DH heard a reporter's name on NPR, and now it has become The Name. Any other name suggested is met with "...Or what about Imogen Fawkes? That's a great name." And it is a first and middle combo, which leaves no room for compromise. :P


OP, I think this sounds like a great idea. It would mean he would have to come up with a list of suggestions rather than just vetoing yours!

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

The boy name is what we had trouble with and we decided on Henrik Leopold. I had been crazy over Ambrose and really wanted to find a place for it. We had both loved Gabriel but it also didn't feel like THE name for some reason. Every combo I'd come up with he wasn't loving and visa versa. Finally I decided the only way to get around this was to scrap altogether what wasn't working and start new. I came up with a list of names that I thought he'd specifically like and see where it took us. That journey was chronicled on this community :D. So Henrik Leopold with the nn Lee.

OH WOW, I forgot you were the one to bring up Imogen Fawkes. I liked that so much I wrote it down. But Imogen itself is gorgeous, but I think you should be able to customize the middle name to make it your own as well.