What do you think of going by a middle name?

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

I have to over-analyze everything when it comes to what I might permanently name a child. So although I do love my list, I was trying to figure out what nicknames they might go by. I wasn't having any problems with this,  until I got to Elsa Fleur. I had the thought that we might have her go by her middle name. And therein lies my issue.

How often do you think people do that...go by their middle names? I only really hear about it in the case of Jr's. Does it make it difficult or confusing for the child and maybe the schools they go to if their legal name and what they go by are completely different?  I don't usually mind popular names, it's just that Elle/Ella/Ellie are the likely nicknames people would give Elsa, and it's not just popular, it's *rampantly* popular. So I'm here for your opinions yet again.

Do I stay with Elsa Fleur even though she might just go by Fleur? If it's not confusing, I'll probably just stay with this first choice. :)

                             OR

Do I make it less confusing and just name her Fleur as a first name and apply a new middle name? Or no middle name. I'd consider just straight Fleur Gibbons.

Fleur Soleil Gibbons is the only real option I came up with for a middle name. Soleil is pronounced So-lay if you didn't know already. I have a hard time coming up with many choices that go well with Fleur without it feeling forced. So no middle name is a viable option.

I'm so sorry if this is getting tedious, but help a gal out if you'd be so kind. My husband is not very big on the name choosing. I do all the hard work, and he just nods or vetoes.

Comments

[breezy-boo.livejournal.com]

Umm so her named would be "flower sun" in French?
That seems a bit much to me although it does sound pretty.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

Haha. I like it when the name meanings make a tangible and sensible statement, but it's not always feasible. Unless you use connecting words to pull it together e.g. Flower 'in the' sun or something similar. Ava's name literally translates as Bird Sweet. Mia's is more tangible. My oath to god. I won't even share Aidan's, as it's a mess lol!

So yes, I consider the name meanings, but it's not a deal breaker if I can't find a tangible statement. I like that you pointed it out though!

[octobre09.livejournal.com]

Well Soleil isn't pronounced "Solay" per se but I don't know how to explain how it's pronounced...I personally like Soleil as a name and I've considered it but decided not to use it due to pronunciation issue. Not a fan of Fleur though...But I say just name her whatever you want her to go by. I don't understand giving her a first name that won't get used. Elsa is gorgeous and I don't think she would necessarily get a nickname out of it (unless you want her to) since it's so short already.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

I checked the pronunciation on a couple of sites and got "So-lay" just like that. I figured it was more like "So-lee-ill" but with the last two syllables crammed together. Is that closer to how you pronounce it?

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

Hm, I guess I would also say that if you don't speak French, why the name Fleur? Just wondering.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

I just like it. I think it's a beautiful names. I don't speak Irish, or German, or Italian either but I still like names from all origins. :) If I was stuck to only American names I'd be miserable!!!

[octobre09.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you know how to pronounce fille (girl) in French but the last "l" in Soleil has the same sound. A bit like in "Popeye" I guess...

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

No, I'm sorry to say that I do not know how to pronounce fille in French. I've never seen that name before. I have no idea where the Popeye reference came in either, but it has me intrigued! :)

[octobre09.livejournal.com]

Well in French, sometimes the "l" as in the last "l" of soleil, is pronounced a little bit like "eye". Usually it's wen there's two "l" together as in fille (fiye) or Camille (camiye) So it's like solei-ye but with a long "eye" sound and the e is silent. Solay is the "american" way of pronouncing it, I know, but it isn't accurate.

[moodylives.livejournal.com]

I like Fleur Soleil. It flows together nicely. I think it is weird when people do not have a middle name. But what if she then chooses to go by the new middle name that you give her (ie Soleil) instead of the first name (is Fleur) anyway? Does that figure into the decision at all?

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

If names like Elle/Ella/Ellie weren't so rampantly popular, I probably would not have considered calling her by her middle name. I have never done so in the past. I probably would not use her middle name much at all (unless it was following her first name of course) if we went with Fleur as a first name. Wouldn't need a nickname for a 1 syllable name lol. And I think the El's are pretty, just over done at the moment.

I'm fine with moderately popular: after all I have Aidan, Ava, and Mia at home! :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/___heyvanity/]

I think Elsie is a nice nickname for Elsa that isn't quite as popular as Elle/Ella/Ellie. It's just as long as Elsa, but like Rose and Rosie, I think it works fine.

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

IMO whatever you plan to call her should be her first name.

I don't think middle names are that important, especially in terms of how well they "go" with the first name. Middle names are not even *known* to anyone but the person themselves unless that person chooses to disclose or use it.

If you want to call her Fleur, go ahead. Nothing wrong with Fleur Elsa, in that order, right?

[taleofaredhead.livejournal.com]

This.

My boyfriend is a JR and goes by his middle. But not many people know that it isn't his first name, anyway, so I don't see why it matters.

[silvermidnight.livejournal.com]

If you would prefer that she goes by the middle name, I would definitely just give it to her as the first name to avoid confusion.

Hmm I like Elsa a lot more than Fleur. Maybe where you live Fleur is popular enough that people are used to it, but my eyes keep seeing "flour" even though I have read it in Harry Potter.

I think if I were you I would give her a mix of names- one naturey frou frou name (Fleur or Soleil) and then one more professional name so she could choose that if she wants. Maybe like Fleur Sydney or Fleur Elsabeth. Cause it might be hard to take flower sun seriously..

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

I don't know a single Fleur in my area at all, but it's an easy name to recognize. Plus there's the goalie for the Pittsburgh Penguins named Marc-Andre Fleury.

I don't mind that Fleur is flower and Soleil is Sun but maybe the two together just sound too strong, and I wouldn't mind a softer, more traditional name in it's place, but I haven't thought up a single one that flows well. Is that supposed to be Elisabeth or is it actually Elsabeth?

I concede the point though. If I decide to use Fleur it will be her first name.

[qtshorty1625.livejournal.com]

Plus there's the goalie for the Pittsburgh Penguins named Marc-Andre Fleury.
This made me smile because I know of whom you are referring. Before him, there was also Theo Fleury for Calgary (mainly) [for the longest time when people would say "Fleury" I'd think of Theo before MAF, LOL], and Guy Lafleur for Montreal (mainly). But you probably already knew that :).

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

My friend got me into hockey about 5 years ago. I'm still learning the histories! I hadn't heard of Theo Fleury, but I have heard of Guy Lafleur from just random tidbits from our color announcers. :)

[silvermidnight.livejournal.com]

It's supposed to be Elsabeth, which I'm pretty sure is a real name.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

My friend goes by his middle name.

But then, his name is David Davidson, so I see why he prefers his middle name. :-p

[eveyalecia.livejournal.com]

My mom's name is Laura Kathryn and she's always been known as Katie (for Kathryn). I guess her parents wanted her to be Katie long before they decided on Laura Kathryn, but I don't know why they didn't choose to name her Kathryn Laura in that case.

I also had a friend in high school (Michael Kaleb) who had always gone by his middle name because he thought that Michael was, in his words, "yucky" haha. He had to correct the teachers on the first day, but that was the only time it ever came up.

That said, I prefer Elsa Fleur, and I also think that Fleur Soleil is a bit much. Elsie is a cute nickname and not as common, though I think it's growing in popularity. I don't think it would be confusing at all for her to be called by Fleur-- with Kaleb and mom, most people weren't even aware that they were calling them by their middle names.

[piperwest12.livejournal.com]

I don't like Elsa or Fleur but do love Soleil, I know a beautiful sweet little girl named Soleil so I might be biased. I love the idea of Soleil Fleur Gibbons, except that her name would then be translated to sun flower. But I agree with the person who posted about just naming the baby the name you really want to use.

[laminy.livejournal.com]

I'm friends with one person who goes by her middle name...I feel like there's somebody else I know but I don't remember who it is, lol. Anyway, my one friend was just talking the other day about how all of her stuff says her first name, or her first initial at least, and it's really hard to get away from. And people who deal with her and see her ID and her Visa and stuff always call her by her first name, no matter what.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

Good point about the ID, and credit cards and the like. I think it is too confusing! :)

[thelasttruth.livejournal.com]

I know a whole family who go by their middle names and it's never been a problem for them. My fifth grade teacher also kind of went by her middle name - when she was old enough she legally switched around her names, so her middle name became her first.
Personally, I'd put the name I'd want to call my kid as their first name, just to keep things simple. Elsa could very easily go through life without a nickname. A lot of people with two-syllable names do.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

I would love it if they would just let Elsa be Elsa. I think it's such a pretty name. I'm just not confident that they will, I mean even in my family! I don't want a nickname for it! I mean if they promised all nicknames would be something like "Sugar-plum" or something that'd be alright too ;-) As long as they don't dissect her actual name.

But Fleur is impossible to butcher. So I'm a little more confident in that sense. Hence the dilemma. I still don't know if I'm going to use Elsa or Fleur but whatever I do go with will be her first name!

[hermione-vader.livejournal.com]

Wait, I thought you were going with Gemma Hermione Gibbons?

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

That's still my number one yes, because I love that name sooooooooooo much!! If I get my way she'll be Gemma Hermione. But I need a back up just in case it doesn't feel like her, you know? Elsa Fleur or Fleur will fill my number 2 position. It's still important because honestly I have thought the name I had picked out didn't suit my child when she was born and had to scrounge for a new name in the hospital. I managed to find a name I absolutely loved, but it wasn't my first choice (or even my second!) and I was pretty stressed out for awhile.

Sofia is beautiful and my husband's favorite, but it's third right now for me because it's my cousin's pick as well (She prefers the Polish version Zophia/Zofia) and I know darn well she won't use it if we do, and I'd feel badly. My husband doesn't care about that sort of thing, first come first serve in his eyes, but.......it's family! I can't be that cold. However, it's on there mainly to keep him happy. :) I'm still hoping I'll get a chance to use Teddye as a middle name somewhre else though. So cute.

[cheshire-cherry.livejournal.com]

I love the name Fleur Soleil Gibbons, just beautiful!!

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

Thanks!! :) I don't know if the husband loves Soleil, but he seems to like Fleur just fine. At least he didn't go "no" and turn away lol. He wants me to compile a list of possible middle names for Fleur so that's where I'm at right now. :D

[xariana.livejournal.com]

I'm not so sure that Elsa would get a nickname; my sister's name is Elza and she has always refused any nickname (except for the quick, conversational "Elz", but that's not a nickname so much as laziness) and that's all anyone ever calls her. I also have a friend called Victoria who, although it was a hard fought battle, made it through school, work, and now university using only her full name because she didn't like the alternatives. So, I think you could get away with it, and I also think it's kind of worth it. To me, Fleur is really nice, but Elsa is totally adorable!

[jordle.livejournal.com]

My Dad is known by his middle name and it has been a constant struggle for him. For example, when he booked flights recently the travel agent put his middle name down as his first and Dad had to go through all this crap to get the name on the ticket corrected.

It wasn't planned for him to go by his middle name - it just happened, but with all the confusion it causes him I don't know why a parent would knowingly do that to their child.

Is there a reason you can't use Fleur Elsa?

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

I just don't really love the names in reverse. But I like how you described it best. It's not so much confusing as it is a hassle.

[behindgrey-eyes.livejournal.com]

I only learned this a little while ago but a couple of my friend's aunts are called Mary technically. Though one is Mary Geraldine and the other is Mary Louise [I THINK its Louise who is also Mary, they have a big family xD I think they all have some form of Mary in their names somewhere.] But their parents intended them to be called by both names. I have always know Geraldine as just that and Louise by that too. I think it was partly to stop confusion and partly because Geraldine didn't like Mary.

So yeah I've only ever really heard of people being called by their middle names if they really didn't like their first name or in the case of a junior type thing. I guess it could form overtime as a nickname sometimes. My sister's middle name is Majella and we have been known to call her Maj/Madge. Then again she still generally goes by Anna.

I'd say if you really want to call her by Fleur then just got for that as her name. Elsa Fleur is really pretty but I also like Soleil with it :) Then again, I could imagine calling her flower as a nn would be utterly adorable. IMO I'd go for the name I like best and see what happens as the child grows. I think some kids suit their names just because they're given it, others sort of grow into it, if that makes sense? :p She might be an Elsa, she might be a Fleur or she might be something completely different I think you'd need to meet her before you make a final decision :)

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess it won't hurt just to add a name to my list. It does make a lot more sense to keep both than be at an impasse trying to decide which name to keep as my backup name. At least I'll be well stocked if I have a daughter or two! Is it wrong to want twins? I could use both Gemma and Elsa/Fleur (whichever gets chosen), I would be completely satisfied, and it would be done in one last pregnancy and then I'd be done forever. I guess with that wish it could also end up as boys, but I'm prepared for that. We dropped one of our three, so now we just have the two boys names and we don't actually need anymore than that. But I am getting way ahead of myself (it's a habit of mine) on that subject altogether. I'm just getting really anxious for when we can TTC. It's a little bit off yet, but I'm praying hard that financially things will come together sooner so we can try sooner! Waiting is hard when you know you are definitely going to have more! I'm hoping worst case scenario is a year tops.

I also liked your entire last paragraph. I wasn't planning on a nickname for Fleur but flower would be cute. It's a nod to her name without butchering it, so that's plus! I do love Elsa Fleur, and Fleur Soleil (mispronounced or not!). It was never a matter of not liking a particular name, it's about loving all of them that makes it difficult!! :)

Thanks!!!

[bratty-lil-fae.livejournal.com]

My sons name is Nicholas Cael, we have called him Cael since the day he was born. He doesn't even respond to the name nicholas as it is only used when he is in trouble :P Nobody gives us grief about it.

[glitterdragon.livejournal.com]

I go by my middle name and it's not really very confusing. I would just call her what ever it is you want to call her.

[bloomingtulip.livejournal.com]

I had several classmates growing up who went by their middle names. If the teacher didn't already know, the student just pointed it out when the teacher took roll the first time. It was no more tedious or awkward than the kids who had to correct the pronunciation of their name.

[bingybingy.livejournal.com]

I go by my middle name. My first name is Amanda and I was always called Mandy. I hated it (no offense to the Mandys of the world.) I switched to my middle name in fifth grade. Sometimes it can kind of be a pain. Teachers would never remember to call me by middle name which meant students would call me Amanda. Legally everything is in my first name so that can get a little confusing too. I wouldn't discourage someone from using a middle name, but if the name flows well I'd suggest using the name you want as a first name.

[mirhanda.livejournal.com]

My parents saddled me with my middle name as my call name, and to be honest I would never do that to a child. It makes filling out forms a real pain in the ass. Do you fill it out honestly so that they have your first name, middle initial and last name and call you by something you never go by? Do you lie and put your middle name as first name and first initial and middle initial so they have the wrong name but call you correctly? It's not the end of the world, but it's created a LOT of hassle in my life than didn't need to be there. As soon as I got married, I dropped my first name entirely and went by what had been my middle name, maiden initial as middle initial and husband's last name. Life is so much easier with a normal name arrangement.

[raze--the-rose.livejournal.com]

Some people choose to go by their middle names; Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails being the first one I can think of (his first name is Michael or something). I had a class with a guy who went by his middle name of Logan; I don't think in either case it was because their parents called them by their middle names, but rather as they grew up the preferred their middle names themselves.

[minga13.livejournal.com]

I'm a teacher and I've taught many children over the past few years who go by their middle name. On our school enrollment forms it has a place for their legal name and a place for their "preferred name". Most children just have their legal first name as their preferred name, but some have their middle name or a nickname. Their preferred name is what comes up on our attendance roll and school documents so they don't have a problem with the teacher calling them the wrong name. I personally find it odd and wouldn't do it myself but it seems to work for them. Regarding the possible nicknames, my name is Martyna and my mother was adamant that I would NOT be called Marty, Martini, Tyna/Tina or any other variations by family members and friends. As a result, my name has always been Martyna and all through school/work I would nicely tell teachers/friends who tried to shorten my name that sorry, my name is Martyna. No one minded me saying that and very rarely if they did try call me a nickname after I said what I preferred, I'd ignore them until they called me my correct name. They got the message pretty fast. I prefer the name Elsa as a first name, if you don't want your child to have nicknames just let people know.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

Well, that makes it less confusing for the school years at least, but there are other official places where it wouldn't fly. Social Security, Driver's License/State ID, credit cards and the like that have been pointed out to me. Although I like that the schools offer that option, I think it will be a hassle later on in life.

I'll keep your advice in mind. It could be a serious hassle constantly correcting people, especially at first, but it could also be worthwhile. :)

[gipro2003.livejournal.com]

I love Elsa Fleur! I think other nickname options could be Essie and Elsie. But I know of several people during school that went by their middle names. A Carmelo Ivan who went purely by Ivan and a Myka Ashli who went purely by Ashli come to mind right away.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I know tons of people who go by their middle names. Not something I'd plan to do but if my kid hates their first name, I'd do it.

[seizansha.livejournal.com]

people usually go by their middle by their own choice, either because the first is old/embarassing or it has bad connotations. i.e. my grandpa got his name legally switched when he was 18 because my great grandpa was an abusive drunk.

if you really like Fleur and it works well in your area(my baby sis wanted to use Atticus but she lives in rural Nebraska so it's too odd) i say stick with it as a first.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

We're keeping Elsa Fleur as an option because I really love it and think it's super classy, but we're also adding Fleur Andrea Swan Gibbons as another choice. We already have Gemma Hermione on the list as well which is my favorite. I just need to have twin girls really! :)

[jasminedonovan.livejournal.com]

I say its totally fine. My brother was names Declan Michael... but once we knew American's couldn't pronounce the iresh name correctly (they said D'clan instead of Deck-lan).. we started calling him Mikey.

As long as you call them by their middle name from the get-go, you will have no problems with calling her by her middle name. You just cant hope it catches on, you have to call her that from the beginning. Good luck!

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)