Revealing Your Name(s)

[snoglobel.livejournal.com]

I was reading an online article about the "dangers" of revealing a selected baby name before birth.  (Open up to criticism, stealing, etc.)

In the comments they asked if people waited.  Some commentors told us their children's names.  I thought they were interesting:

Jezzek - (boy) revealed early to disdain, now a beloved name.
Chelsi - (girl) and due in July (Levi or Hattie) - Told everyone in advance.
Jacee - (girl) Told early, but changed to this.  Grandma had a fit and would only call her "Holly" which wasn't part of either name or middle name.
Adeline Harper Grace - (girl) Originally was Charlotte Grace, but a week before Sarah Michelle Gellar had a kid with the same name, and baby didn't "look" like a Charlotte, so telling everyone early didn't matter, the name changed.
Zoe - (girl) - told early and grandparents refused to use the name until they found someone else with it and learned it wasn't made up.
Julian - (boy) shared a "top names" list when asked, but never their final decision on the list.
Rowan (boy) - used a decoy name (Burchfield Mumford) when people asked.
Liam - (boy) was the name choice if first child were a boy, and told after daughter was born.  Bad reception  but still used on second child that was a boy.
Liam and Patrick - "reserved" names not used yet, but discussed and "claimed"  Other sibling also reserved: Seamus and Eoin.

Comments

[adamantplatypus.livejournal.com]

I don't get why people (like...grandparents/relatives) "refuse" to use a child's name if they don't like it. You don't have to like it, it's still the kid's name.

People are whacked.

[behindgrey-eyes.livejournal.com]

Yeah I was just about to say that too. I'd have to slap my mother if she called my kid something random just because she didn't like the name I'd picked :p

[qtshorty1625.livejournal.com]

I was thinking the same thing. At the very least, use a nickname.

[spaceandclouds.livejournal.com]

I love Adeline Harper Grace, it's so pretty!

I don't think you can "reserve" names, by the way, but it makes for amusing stories.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

You can *try* to reserve names, but it's never an easy thing. I probably would've used Sophia on one of my two girls, except my cousin (who I do see all the time) wants to use the name Zophia (I guess it's the Polish version) and she said she wouldn't use the name if I used Sophia. Even though the nicknames would've kept things from being confusing. It's sort of exasperating.

Not being able to use Sophia, we settled on Audrey, until one of my best friends knew she was having a girl. Since high school she had loved the name Aubrey but likewise wouldn't use it if I had Audrey. I argued that it didn't matter because we didn't even live in the same city, but she moved back home and all of our other friends joked that she would probably show up at the hospital and alter my kids birth certificate. Probably true. After that I couldn't come up with a solid name until she was born. (this is also in my original comment sorry for redundancy!)

Funny thing? I no longer speak to that friend so it wouldn't have mattered. And I'm sick to death of the ideas of reserving/stealing names. You are never going to have an individual name, the world is too big. And name trends will always exist. People are going to have to co-exist so might as well embrace the idea of "sharing names"

[silvermidnight.livejournal.com]

I like when other people reveal their names before the kid is born because 1) you could take it into account when choosing a present- you could get something monogramed or put it on the card and all of that

2) does it *really* build suspense for when the kid is born? I think people react the with the same magnitude when they find out the name regardless of whether the kid is still cooking or already out.

3) Also I don't understand the fear of stealing since eventually you've got to reveal the name, so people can just still it then anyways.

T

[silvermidnight.livejournal.com]

Got cut off there-

The only time I could see keeping the name a secret is if you think people are doing to dislike it so much that they will try to talk you out of it and you don't want to deal with the drama.

[qtshorty1625.livejournal.com]

I was thinking along the same lines.

[satunian.livejournal.com]

Whenever I get pregnant, I don't mind telling my names to most people. If they want to "steal" well, that's their risk, and their kids and my own can blame them for having the same name, 'cause I ain't budging! I'm probably not going to tell my mom though, as I could imagine some sort of critical comment for most of my top choices. She'll find out the baby's name when she meets the baby of that name ;)
I never understand how or why older relative could actually say "I refuse to call her by her given name and instead insist on calling her something entirely different" Excuse me, get your own babies (Of you might've even had your turn already), this one's mine.
Anyone who does that to me, grandma, uncle, best friend, will thus be dubbed "Doug" by me and nothing else.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

Love it! Especially the part about renaming them. Awesome.

[forthemorrow.livejournal.com]

We're using a decoy name this time around (because last time people had a really hard time with Desmond! LOL!) Forgetting the name, or loving it & making us promise we don't change it again. Like we can change it before birth, we're the parents... or being sent a list of OTHER options via email (thanks, Mom!) This time we're calling #2 Rainbow. Hahahaha. Rain for a girl, or Bo for a boy. Obviously the names aren't that, but girl baby will get an esp hard time from my family (shit storm) because her name will be Margot and they knew a Marg who they hated. Margot and Marg don't even sound the same. It's just bound to set everyone off.

[forthemorrow.livejournal.com]

OMG and I forgot the worst one, spouse's cousin accused him of stealing his great grandfather's name (one we didn't even know!) & that he was planning to use the name & still would for his son, because it honoured the family tradition (even though his grandfather and father didn't have the tradition). Even months AFTER the birth we were still hearing about that. : P

[kitchen-poet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I totally thought my parents were better than this, as they like names and always say they are excited for whatever names we choose.
Then my husband and I mentioned we liked the name Fleur as a middle name and my mom said "FLURRR? That sounds like how drunk people slur their words! Don't use that, I would never tell other people!" Hmmph.

[alyssa22.livejournal.com]

Revealing names is a bad idea... My aunt told her best friend that if her baby was a girl, she was going to call her Jade April.

The friend had a baby a week earlier and used Jade April. The two of them no longer speak and it's just lucky that my cousin was a boy who ended up being Andrew James.

Meanwhile, my three boy cousins are arguing about who gets to use the name Harrison, which is a family name, but my sister has already used it. Total insanity...

[rosabelle.livejournal.com]

I don't get the "name stealing" thing. I don't own the names I plan to use for my children.

I would lose a ton of respect for someone who refused to call someone by their name because they didn't like it. If someone renamed my (hypothetical) child, I would probably no longer speak to them.

[ladydreamfire.livejournal.com]

With the first I didn't know I was having a boy until the 8th month (sucker hid and hid his genitals) but I knew what name I wanted. I kept it to myself because I knew my grandfather wanted my son to be his namesake. With my second, I couldn't settle on a name until I saw her so there was nothing to tell.

With my third child I had lists upon lists of boy names because I just couldn't nail down a name for my boy. Seriously, major lists 50+. My family hated them all. And after a while it started to upset me. By the end of it things got so bad that I refused to tell anyone the name I had selected until after he was born. That includes my husband so no one would overhear me telling him. He was in Canada at the time because we had immigration issues.

Upon my next pregnancy my husband and I used a decoy name so we wouldn't face the same issues. We used Zebulon Yul/Zebulina Yul and I have to tell you, it was the funniest thing whipping out that name. I'm much more steeled against criticism now but I will do it again in a heartbeat (I'm thinking Godspell Tinseltoes) for the fun factor alone. Zebulina ended up being Mia Isobel.

[http://users.livejournal.com/__sail_awayx/]

We kept the name to ourselves before his birth. First because I didn't care for anyone else's opinions and because we were contemplating some out there names (like Asa and Declan which I still like but people that now hear it was on our list have very strong opinions on). Once we told people it was already on his birth certificate and there was nothing they could do about it.

I would absolutely do it again. The suspense was fun btw. Lol. People get really mad when you don't want their input.

[lipsty.livejournal.com]

We're not revealing the names, much to the chargrin of my mum, mainly because, although we're pretty set on the names (don't know the gender, have a name selected for each), I don't believe in publicly naming babies until they're actually born. We might change our minds, or the baby might not suit the name. If people have bought monogrammed presents or started referring to the baby as the name, it could be awkward. Also, people have to keep their opinions to themselves once the baby is actually named!

[my-little-voice.livejournal.com]

I don't know what I'll do when I finally have kids. I'll probably keep it to myself because in the past my grandmother's been known to say that she'll refuse to call a baby by it's name because she doesn't like it. Also, when my best friend was pregnant, we went 5 months calling the baby Ben, even going so far as to have things monogrammed for the shower, and then in the last month of pregnancy things changed and the name was up in the air. And when it came right down to it, his name was changed to Jacob when he was born.

[pollysweet.livejournal.com]

Well this is a subject I think about alot. When we were pregnant with our first, I read the advice about not revealing the name you choose until the birth and it sounded like solid advice to me. The article or book said that you would be taking seriously the opinions of people who you wouldn't let pick out the color of your living room. Ha. Lol that always stuck with me. Too bad I didn't stick to the plan with our second pregnancy. We revealed our daughters planned name on Christmas day at a family gathering a few months before she was due. Zoey Violet was going to be her name, but after my MIL turned her nose up and said some choice words and I replied with a comment about not asking her permission and there wasa huge explosion that took months to fade out. The name was ruined for me. Forever linked in my mind with her and 'the incident'. Our daughter ended up as Allison Snow. Which wedo love. So our best pregnancy was secretive again and so is this one. Family are used to waiting by now and it's true that you won't get much comment once the name is in stone!
The only problem this time is our six year old wants to know the name and we don't know if he can keep it a secret. ( and this time I expect most people will dislike the name we have chosen)
Anyway we have given him hints and if he guesses it we will let him know. Seven more weeks to go!

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

My boss's sister is pregnant, and they are calling the baby Olga. They are not going to name her that but they want to protect the name they are actually using from opinions.

I was thinking about it because of the conversation with my boss and I definitely understand that. I think I will tell immediate family (the grandparents and aunts/uncles of my child), but for the rest have a silly decoy name. My boyfriend's last name starts with an E, so I was thinking of Esmeralda and Estebon as my decoys. :)

[banded-becky.livejournal.com]

I don't get the idea of reserving names either. Where I was born, Rebecca was not a particularly popular name at the time. However, after we moved to Australia, I've always been one of a crowd of Rebeccas. I have a close friend named Rebecca as well. You can obsess over being individual as much as you want, but sometimes even despite your best efforts your child will end up knowing someone with a similar/same name. Generally a person's name does not rule where they decide to live or who they like.