(no subject)

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

Purely hypothetical: Should you ask a person's permission before naming your child after that person?

Does it change things if you're not necessarily naming the child after the person in question, but you just happen to like a name that someone close to you has? (e.g., You've always loved the name Matthew and want to name your son Matthew, but it has nothing to do with your brother named Matthew.)

Comments

[lilacmermaid.livejournal.com]

Interesting question! I wouldn't give a child the first name of someone I wanted to honour, but all the potential middle names I would like to use are all family names, and I don't think I would ask (or even tell) the person in question in advance. I kind of feel like anyone I would want to honour is close enough to me that I wouldn't feel obligated to get their permission (or if I felt like I needed to, I probably don't feel like they're close enough to use their name, if that makes sense)...

I think it might be different in the example you've given, because in both cases (I think?) you're talking about first names. And because it's (maybe?) someone you're close enough to that you'd see them somewhat regularly, and the names could get confusing. And since it's a sibling and not an ancestor, he may have wanted to use the name on his children. (I'm not sure any of that helped, but I thought I'd throw it out there as some other stuff to think about).

[octobre09.livejournal.com]

I think it depends how common the name is...Like if someone named their kid Emily, I'm not going to assumed they name them after me, so I really don't care.

However if they named their kid Cléa (my kid's name) and I know for a fact that's a rare name and they most likely heard it first from me...Then I would like them to give me a warning. It would kind of bother me but it's not like I own the name so I wouldn't be super upset.

[satunian.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess it depends on how close you are. Typically a brother/sister relationship is close, so unless you guys are estranged or lead very different separate lives, I would suggest anyway to mention your intent of using the same name. I don't know if it should necessarily be permission you're asking for but more of a "would this make you uncomfortable?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/___heyvanity/]

It depends how close I am to that person. If I'm acquaintances, no, but If I'm close, I would definitely ask.

For instance, I really love the name Emmeline and my sister is Emily. I would make a point of asking her if that was ok. I actually did, and she said it would be fine consider her nn would be Emma and my sister's is Em (very close, but still a little different).

I doubt I will ever really use it, but maybe!

[ohhvelocitygirl.livejournal.com]

Depends on the name. Joe? sure. Randilynn (I just picked the first unique name that popped up on facebook), I'd probably bring it up.

[laminy.livejournal.com]

No, I don't think so. For either situation.

[kjerlandsen.livejournal.com]

It never occurred to me to ask permission to use a name when I named my 3 younger children after people. I just assumed it would be ok. Granted, my son is named after his dad, so since he and I had to agree on the name, I guess I did get permission?

But my mom and grandma were both honored when we named our daughters after them. So I don't think you need permission to name your child after some one. I think if you are doing it as a namesake type of deal, you are obviously close to them and should have a good relationship with the person. I don't see how some one would say, "Don't name your kid after me." But I don't know...

As for naming some one the same name but not after them...well, I don't see why that should even get brought up. "Hey, I love your name, so I want to name my kid 'Matthew' but not after you." I mean, how would you even word that without being rude? And every one will most likely assume that your child is named after that person, especially if you are siblings with that person or very close.

[azalea581.livejournal.com]

I've named both my kids after my parents and didn't ask permission. Not sure if the situation is different because it is my parents?
But either way I say no to both your questions

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Ask permission? Definitely not (neither the child, nor in reality the name, belong to them) but it's nice to tell them if you are actually naming in honour (honestly, who's going to object unless having the name made their lives miserable, in which case you would want a warning, yes?)

[adamantplatypus.livejournal.com]

I agree. A name is a name - someone doesn't own it and I can name my kid after anyone I want to name them after. :P

[vanish.livejournal.com]

I guess it depends. I plan on naming a future daughter after someone, and I don't intend on asking her or even letting her know beforehand. I am both close to and related to this person, though, so I know it'd be fine.

But if I was thinking of naming a kid after a friend of mine, or someone I was less close to but still respected (e.g. a mentor), I might tell them that I was planning on naming my child after them, and if they would be comfortable with that.

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

No one owns a name, they aren't trade marked and as long as you live in America you can name a child whatever you'd like. Plus, I would think the person would be flattered as long as they didn't hate their name, lol
like my mom hates her middle name, Louise, so I'd never use it.

[juniorfan29.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on the circumstances. I went through a stage where I liked the name Tyler. My mom's cousin lost a baby named Tyler so if I had continued to like that name and wanted to use it, I definitely would have asked her permission, first. Beyond that...no. You have a right to name your child whatever you want.

[corielcries.livejournal.com]

My son's name is one letter off from my sister's, and his middle name is that of my brother. I did not name my son after either one of them, actually, but they are also names of ancestors and other family members. I think its nice to let people know you are honouring them by using a name, but don't need to 'ask' if its okay.

[bloomingtulip.livejournal.com]

I hate to say this so bluntly, but I don't think it's a good idea to name your child a close family member's name unless it's to honor them. It's just too confusing. Everyone is going to assume that's why you named the child that.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

To me, it would depend on the prevalence of the name. To build on your example:
If your brother Matthew is the only Matthew in your circle of family/friends with that name, you might want to mention it to him, if not ask his permission right out.
If you have a brother, cousin, neighbor, friend from high school, and your SO's old roomie who are ALL named Matthew, then... not so much.