Question for parents of 2+ children (and hypothetical for others!)

[lipsty.livejournal.com]

So, you're pregnant with your first child and you've got picked out the perfect name for a boy and the perfect name for a girl, but obviously when the little sprite pops out, you only get to use one of them. My question is, if you have another child of the opposite gender, do you use the name that you loved first time round or do you start afresh and think of a new name as it's a new person? Just curious!

Comments

[byfaith.livejournal.com]

I'm pregnant with my first child. I have two girl names picked out and can't come up with a boy name I like to save my life. Anyway, I will use one girl name now and if we have another girl later, we will use the other girl name.

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

We had about ten girls' names that we liked and just one boy's. Of course we had a girl. :)

[02895.livejournal.com]

we only had one girl name and one boy name. we used the girl name on my daughter, and if i were to have a boy i would use a diffrent name only because if my daughter was a boy she would have been a jr and we are not together anymore. my daughters sister however has her dads second choice of what my daughter would have been if we didnt find the name she has.

[ladyjbug.livejournal.com]

My husband and I are using traditional names for the first of each sex. Therefore, if we were having a girl this time, we would use the same name we picked out last time for her since it would be honoring the same people as well as a family tradition. But, we're having another boy so it was back to the drawing board, and we're STILL not completely sold on it at 38 weeks. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/sparkleandfade_/]

some people will use the same name because they're so in love with it.

my tastes changed between my first and second children that none of the names (male or female) were the same.

(for the record, my two year is named mischa jade. she was named a couple hours before she was born, so her name could have been madelyn jessica or ella joanne. if she was a boy, we knew we were having a girl, her name would have been lincoln matthew. i'm 37 weeks pregnant with #2, another girl. her name will either be maya pearl or lyla pearl. it would have been silas quinn if she had been a boy.)

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

I had a boy and girl name picked out for my first. He got the boy name, but I didn't "hold on to" the girl name, I grew out of it in the 4 years between kids. Next baby we had our names picked out, she was a girl, but we still LOVED our boy name so when we had our third, our boy name was already set. We're thinking of having a fourth, and if and when that happens we'll keep the same boy name, it's pretty much the only name that we LOVE LOVE, I couldn't see having another boy with any other name.

I don't think of it as new person new name, because you don't meet the little person for quite some time, and even after that, it's a long time before they get a personality so what do you have to go on to pick a name other than your preference for saying the name a million times a day? I know sometimes people meet their baby and think they look like a Y instead of a Z, and if that works for them, that's great. I thought my son looked like a Michael but Elijah was my name and I'm glad I stuck with it because he is NOT a Michael!

[so-there.livejournal.com]

I don't get the "see what the baby looks like first" idea either. babies are all kind of squishy and look similar... you don't *really* know what they'll look like until a year or two goes by.

[kitchen-poet.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Maybe I'm weird because I'm a huge believer in "see what the baby looks like." Not even the squishy-ness of the baby, I just sort of have personality traits associated with each name. I can't even clearly articulate why!

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

I get it. No, the baby doesn't look exactly like they will eventually, but they still look like something and many babies do look somewhat like what they'll eventually look like (I'd say 2/3 of my friends' babies looked a lot like their parents at birth). I can see the reasoning behind having a few names and not choosing until you see the baby. I think that mostly happens when the parents just can't decide.

[so-there.livejournal.com]

all my unused names get passed on to the next pregnancy.my boy choice for the first one ended up my second kid's name. my girl choice for the second pregnancy ended up my 4th kid's name (3rd kid was also a boy). we didn't have a boy name picked during my 4th pregnancy, only 2 girl names... so the other girl name got held over to this pregnancy, and we had to start from scratch for a boy name.

I don't get the "new person" idea...before my kid is born, it doesn't have a name. then it's born and it gets a name. so the other name never belonged to that person. no reason not to use it if I like it... especially since during my first pregnancy, I loved my boy choice but liked my girl choice. used my girl name, wasn't about to toss aside my favorite name ever just because my first kid wasn't a boy!

[jellybeener.livejournal.com]

I'm pregnant with my second child.
We had a daughter so we used our agreed upon girls name but the name she would have had if she were a boy is not the name this baby will have if it's a boy.
Opinions change, I suppose.

[rosabelle.livejournal.com]

It's what my parents did--if I'd been a boy I'd have gotten the name they later used on my brother, and if he'd been a girl he'd have gotten the name they later gave my sister.

[corielcries.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on how you feel about the name when it comes time to have the second child. With my first I had a boy and a girl name picked out. I had a boy. I was pregnant again I still liked the name from the first time around but didn't 'feel' like that baby should be named the first name I had picked out, so I went with something else. With my last pregnancy, the name she has was something we were looking at when I was pregnant before and seriously considered.

I did have another boy name picked out for my son but when I got pregnant again I didn't like it as much. Some people love the same name for years; other people grow out of love with a name like I did.

[bluedano.livejournal.com]

This is how my husband and I were too. We had a whole list of girl names when I was pregnant the first time (we had a boy), but two years later when I was pregnant with my boy/girl twins we realized we just didn't love all those names as much as we used to. We did end up using my top contender from the original list as our daughter's middle name though.

[kitchen-poet.livejournal.com]

Zomg, matching crab sweaters! So awesome!

[mrssubee.livejournal.com]

well, my 2nd was a boy and he's Benjamin- if he were a girl- I wanted to go with Alexa- my husband wasn't crazy about it and he eventually said 'fine..if it's a girl...hmmf hmmf' something like that
well, if I were to ever get pregnant again and have a girl -not sure we'd go with Alexa although I still like it- I think we'd start fresh with a whole new name pool

[queer-kitten.livejournal.com]

Just don't name her hmmf hmmf !

[duck-deluxe.livejournal.com]

We went with completely new names because it was sort of reserved for the kid in question and felt weird passing names down. We had Norah and Evan picked out for our first (she's Norah), Lucy and Emmett for our second (she's Lucy), and Scarlett and Harrison for our third (he's Harrison). I don't know WHY it feels weird to pass the names down but it does.

[jexia]

Our first would have been an Alexander Damien (nn Xander) or Imogen Dawn. I still LOVE the name Imogen but when we had the twins we ended up with Genevieve Madeleine and Finley Etienne. I think our decision changed because they were twins, to be honest. I still love the name Imogen and if we ever had another (hahahahahaha) then I'd be pushing for that.

[thellamaqueen.livejournal.com]

I don't have any kids, so I guess this doesn't really apply to me, but I'm going to answer anyway. :P

I think of the names I have picked out in the sense of "my first boy will be named x" and "my first girl will be named x". I've never even considered that after I have my first I will toss out the opposite-sex name that I liked and start over again.

[theljfromheck.livejournal.com]

If I want to, yes. I didn't use the girl name I picked out when I had my son, I found another name I liked more before I had my daughter. I did use the boy name I was going to use if my daughter was a boy for boy #2. ...does that make sense? haha

[coffeecup37.livejournal.com]

Use the same name(s) for subsequent pregnancies. I have enough trouble coming up with. My partner and I have enough trouble agreeing as it is, so I think going through the process every single time would be traumatic. :p

[taraemily.livejournal.com]

We did. :)

[kitchen-poet.livejournal.com]

I think it will really depend. Like there are certain names that my husband has loved since childhood, i.e. Benjamin, that I think would always be a top contender. But I could also see myself being really, really attached to a name and then the baby ends up being born a different sex, and it could just feel wrong to use it in a subsequent pregnancy. And I think if there was a prominent person in the news with one of the names we liked, good or bad, we'd probably shy away from it.
Also, and I get that this is really, really strange, but I have personality traits associated with the names we've chosen. Like, a calm, stoic baby is a Benjamin. A screaming, redfaced spitfire of a baby is an Ari. A baby somewhere in between is a Lev. I don't even know why, but I'm a big believer in seeing a baby before naming it.

Add to that, we plan to follow Jewish law with our names, and so the baby will be named after a family member. So we can't discard that many names, or we won't have anything left to choose from! ;)

[doxerssoldout.livejournal.com]

my parents reused the name - if i had been a boy, i would have been andrew, which eventually became my younger brother's name.

if i ever decide to have multiple children in the future, i'd probably reuse the names if i still liked them.

[deathofrats.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I have a favorite boy's name and a favorite girl's name. My first boy and first girl will have them no matter when they are born.

[sarahness.livejournal.com]

I didn't. I used the name that was picked out for #1 as #2's middle name, though. I just kind of grew bored of the name, and felt like choosing something new.

Had I still LOVED the name, I probably would have used it, though.

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

Depends on the situation and the name. My husband and I had David Christopher picked out if our Brenna Rose had been a boy. She died in infancy and I was really bothered by the idea of using David for another baby because it was "her name". It's been a long time and I kinda got over that, but we kinda got over the name David as well.

We're TTC #2 and if it's a boy, Jeremiah will be either the first or the middle name, after my brother. If it's not a boy, then Jeremiah will be used for the next baby, if it's a boy. We've had our next girl's name picked out for years and I think I'd likely want to use it no matter what, but our tastes could always change.

I think it depends on your reasons for picking the name? Same people feel the names they've picked are really connected to that baby and others just have a list of names they like or have picked out their names before having children.

[becomingun.livejournal.com]

It would depend on how I felt when I had the baby. My top names, if I had a baby right now, would be Margaret and Deacon. Assuming I felt the same way about the name when I had another kid, I would totally use whichever I hadn't gone with. But people change their minds, so IDK.

[nearlyalegume.livejournal.com]

We had both picked out and had a boy. If #2 is a girl, then yes, we'll be using the name that our son would have been if he'd been 'a boy without a winkle' ;D It's a favourite for a reason!

[smallandneedy.livejournal.com]

When my brother was born, he's the oldest, my parents thought he was a girl throughout the whole pregnancy (this was back in 76-77, I don't even think they had the option to find out for sure before birth). The girl name they had agreed on before even getting pregnant, Suzanne Anett, was attached to the baby throughout the whole pregnancy but then when he turned out to be a boy, they put it aside for the next baby. So when my sister was born 3 years later, she got that name and it suits her really well.
I don't think they ever had any boy names planned for my sister because every time I ask them I get some kind of silly answer with a silly name they'd never actually use on a real kid. Mom claims I was gonna be a David if I was a boy though.