Name disagreement, what do you think?

[sayfray.livejournal.com]

My husband and I were discussing trying to start a family after he returns from his 6 month deployment with the US Navy. We started to talk about names we like and came to a disagreement.

I like:

Ava (ay-vah) for a girl

Asa (ay-suh) for a boy



I picked two names that were similar because last year my cousin had a baby and was told several times it was a boy until the baby was born and Maddox Christopher became Maddox Nicole which I loathe and luckily she has the nickname Maddi which I use exclusively. And if I could get away with it, Aesop for a boy but I think that might be too different.

Hubby likes Ava but wants Alice which I don't like mostly because that's what he named his car when he bought it last year.

He wants Atticus for a boy name. I was at first amicable to this name until my husband told me he hadn't read the book 'To Kill a Mockingbird' or even seen the movie. Atticus James after him because his name is James. He then does a 180 degree turn and decides we would have to name our future kids after his family if it was a boy and mine if it was a girl.

I got stuck with Latricia (Luh-trish-uh) for a middle name because it was my maternal grandmother's name. She opposed this idea when my mom told her because people mocked her for it being 'ethnic' while she was white. I get mocked for it because I'm white and asian and have what ignorant people think is a 'black' person's name. When people see it they call me La-tree-see-uh or Lah-tree-suh foregoing my first name altogether even though I have never gone by it ever.

It's not so wrong for wanting my future kid to have their own name right? I have since learned to ignore peoples ignorance when they want to taunt me for having the name Latricia, but growing up it was hard with that name when most of the girls are named 'Firstname Marie" or "Firstname Anne'. Any thoughts on any of this?


*edited to try and fix the cut*

Comments

[b-gum.livejournal.com]

It's not so wrong for wanting my future kid to have their own name right?

Not at all! You don't have to name your child anything - that's why it's so much fun! i love Ava and Asa, btw... especially as a sibset, but independantly as well :D

I like Alice, but once it was the name for a car I couldn't use it :-/ Maybe that's just me, and I know that I would be fine hearing a story about my dad naming his car my name before they named me the same name, but I can't promise that my kids would be comfy with the idea :-S And to me, that would go back to your idea of wanting my kid to have his or her own name

[kjerlandsen.livejournal.com]

My friend, Sean (who is black) asked me why my brother and I gave our (white) kids black names. My brother's daughter is Nevaeh and my son is Ezra. I laughed and asked him why he had a white name. lol

[http://users.livejournal.com/___heyvanity/]

LOL Ezra is hebrew and biblical.

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

Huh. I've always thought of Ezra as Jewish.

Though I will say that it makes a lot more sense for black parents to give their kids a white name than for white parents to give their kids a black name. Assimilation vs. appropriation...

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

My husband is in the US Navy, too. He's not deployed yet, on a work up right now. He'll be deployed later this year, we have 3 kids, not really looking forward to it.

Anyway, I think that you have 6 months before you can TTC, maybe a few months til you become pregnant, and then another 9 months of pregnancy if all goes right. So you're looking at an estimated 1 1/2 years before you have an actual baby to name and that is plenty of time:) In my 3 experiences of naming children, I have found that a name will just stick, and that's it. It HAS to be that name. I picked Elijah when I was 8 years old, something about that name spoke to me and I knew I HAD to have a son named Elijah, so 10 years later I'm pregnant and it's a boy! Nothing had changed, it was the only name for him. 4 1/2 years later I'm having another baby and the girl name I had for Elijah just isn't it anymore and we come up with the boy name Elliott, but it's a girl. We both LOVED Leilani. And then we saw Amelia, and it STUCK, the name was PERFECT, she had to be Amelia, even though we'd been telling everyone Leilani for months previously. A YEAR later and I'm pregnant again. Elliott is still it for us, but it's another girl. We weren't set on any one name. We narrowed it down to Coraline and Colette and drew from a hat. It said Colette, we said okay. But it hadn't really stuck for us. So after awhile we started going through names again. We jokingly named off Twilight girl names since I was reading the books, and btw, I think Alice is a beautiful name, but only very recently, and when I came to Esme on the list, it kind of stuck. The next day we both agreed, we couldn't see using any other name BUT Esme. And we changed Colette to her middle name.

I did get lucky in that my husband and I seem to have fairly similar naming styles, however, he has also vetoed names that I love love love, like Leila. I REALLY want a girl named Leila but he always says NO. Anyway, I also couldn't see either of my girls named Leila. I have a hundred name that I like and love, but when it comes time to actually name a baby, I just don't feel that any of them are the right name. I'm sure other people have had other experiences with how they chose a name, but I'd say don't fret too much, when it comes time, you may find a different name that you have to have and hopefully your husband doesn't veto it, lol. Or, it could end up like our last one, where he was gone when I had her, and our other kids have two middle names and he absolutely refused that with this one but I really wanted Esme Genevieve Colette and I tried running it by him first but the message didn't reach him in time so I just went ahead and gave her the two middle names and he claims I went and changed her name on him, lol.

[octobre09.livejournal.com]

Is it wrong that I love Maddox on a girl?

I think Ava and Alice are both beautiful names. I've never heard of Asa, it's okay I guess.

We're trying for baby #2 this summer so I'm starting to think of names too. It's so hard to come up with the perfect name that you BOTH like.

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

I like both Ava and Alice, but I can definitely see why you don't want to go with Alice after naming your car Alice. I think that once a name has been used on something less-than-human, like a car or a pet, that family shouldn't use that name on a kid. So I definitely think you should overrule your husband and insist on Ava (or at least something that isn't Alice) for a girl.

I don't like either of your boy names, to be honest, but Atticus is so heavily associated with To Kill A Mockingbird that it's probably a bad idea to use it if one or both of you is unfamiliar with the book.

[so-there.livejournal.com]

I give my kids family names for middle names, but mainly because, let's face it, middle names really have no point. they are hardly ever used and only appear now and then as an initial. so I thought if they're going to have a pointless extra name, may as well make it meaningful by making it a family name. :)