Naming with a nickname in mind

[amyeliz.livejournal.com]

Hi all!
First, a brief introduction:
I have been reading this community for years (I am 26 and have been on livejournal since I was 15...I started watching sometime shortly after joining).
I have been married for a little over a year, and my husband and I are starting to get baby fever. Our goal is to wait until our 2 year anniversary (November 14th) to start trying, but in the mean time, I can't stop dreaming about names! So, I thought it was time to finally join in actively.

Our absolute, hands-down favorite girl name is Betsy. I would love opinions on not only the name itself, but these additional details:

We would name her Elizabeth, as it is a family name on both sides, and we adore the name itself. We would be fine with her choosing to go by Elizabeth rather than Betsy. However, we both dislike Liz, Lizzie, Beth, Betty, and most other nicknames that stem from Elizabeth.

We are afraid if we give her the long name, it will end up turning into something we dislike, but we don't want to name her simply Betsy, as it does not honor the family tradition of Elizabeth.

WDYT?

Comments

[kjerlandsen.livejournal.com]

It is perfectly ok to announce to the family, "This is our daughter Elizabeth. If you prefer to call her by a nickname, please call her Betsy." You need not explain, but if you feel like it, just be honest and say the other nicknames make you cringe or you don't want her to be confused with various people calling her all sorts of different names.

And it is not rude to correct them when they slip up either. And once people get it that she is either Elizabeth or Betsy, they won't give it another thought. =)

[kort-ni.livejournal.com]

I have a friend named Beth who has had to deal with people calling her Liz or Lizzie her whole life. She just corrects them, "It's Beth or Elizabeth". I would imagine it's irritating but people tend to only need to be told once. On the same note, I have a friend whose given name is Jenny. She has to deal with people assuming it's a nickname all the time, so I would definitely give her the full name, call her Betsy and if down the line she chooses one of the other nicknames, my guess is you will grow to love it, as it's your child.

My husband and I are expecting our first right now and we are having a time and a half agreeing on names, so I'd count my lucky stars you were able to agree on something and move forward.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I have a co-worker whose LEGAL name is Jessie and she had a teacher in high school that always called her Jessica and she was like "That is NOT MY NAME, MY NAME IS JESSIE" but that was only one batsh*t old woman. Everyone else is normal and just calls her Jessie.

[snoglobel.livejournal.com]

I worked with someone who's name is Katie. Her mother is Katherine and she says she gets confused with her mom all the time even though her given name is Katie not Katherine.

[greyhowl.livejournal.com]

You can easily correct people and family members on your daughters name. My husband is Jacob and NO ONE calls him Jake, ever. My son is Jack and some people have tried to call him Jackie (EW!) but we are quick to say, it's just Jack :)

That being said, we named our 2nd son Roman with the intention of calling him Ro- and we never do!

[snoglobel.livejournal.com]

My grandpa's name is Jack. He is the youngest of 3 and always the smallest. His older cousins would sometimes call him Little Jackie, and I always thought it sounded weird and very old style.

He grew up in NYC in the 1920's, and I don't think too many of that generation are still around though.

[felicitea.livejournal.com]

I think Betsy is adorable, but I agree, you should name her Elizabeth. Kids are likely to end up with nicknames you don't care for, whether they're anthing to do with their given name or not. It depends how much it bothers you.
/unhelpfulcomment :/

[melly-issa.livejournal.com]

I agree with the other commenters. Call her elizabeth or betsy and that's what other people will call her. If, however, she decides to call *herself* Liz or Beth then I think that's her call. It was your choice, but it's her identity, ya know?

[arrien.livejournal.com]

I think those things are just part of life if you're a nn kid. I'm a Jennifer, go by Jen and have had to correct people alll my life that I am NOT a "Jenny". They just assume, which...whatever. Correcting isn't that hard.

I'd do what everyone else is suggesting. If you announce her as Betsy I think your family/friends will follow suit. I have a friend who named their daughter Elizabeth with the understanding that she would be called Lizzey and I've never heard her referred to as anything but.

[mrssubee.livejournal.com]

go with it -if you set the precedent and just always call her Betsy or introduce her as Betsy- I think it will stick
my son Benjamin, mind you we call him Ben, Benny, Ben Ben
whatever I call him is what I notice people calling him...
eg.- if I say "Benny....." I notice people taking my lead and also referring to him as Benny

[designingdreams.livejournal.com]

eg.- if I say "Benny....." I notice people taking my lead and also referring to him as Benny

ditto. We have a Lillian, nn Lily, but my husband and I usually call her Lillian. I've noticed that when people hear us say "Lillian", they will either call her that, or ask us, "Is Lily okay?"

But, I agree with the people who say that when the child gets older, if they want to be a Lizzy/Liz/Beth, that's really their choice. Choosing which nicknames you allow yourself to be called is part of forming your own identity.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I don't think you'll have a problem with it, honestly. I knew two Betsys in high school (one who was actually Martha Elizabeth), and nobody ever called them anything but Betsy. As long as you make it clear that she's either Elizabeth or Betsy, I don't think it'll be a big deal. Most people will follow your lead on that and the ones that don't are probably people whom you don't associate with much.

Thank you!

[amyeliz.livejournal.com]

Thank you all so much for your input! You have put my mind at ease. My hypothetical daughter will remain Elizabeth/Betsy.

[snoglobel.livejournal.com]

Late comment but...

I don't think it will be a problem. We have an uncle (Robert) who we always call Bobby. Later in life he decided to be Bob, but we still call him Bobby. Even if Elizabeth decides to go by Liz later on you can still always call her Betsy at home and with family.

[thellamaqueen.livejournal.com]

Honestly? I would just name her Betsy. It can still honor the family tradition of Elizabeth, because it known nickname for Elizabeth.
I have two aunts named Betsy - it's not short for anything, just Betsy. I love it and am still searing for a way to use it as a middle name, but it just doesn't work right with anything. :\

[pegasus2o5.livejournal.com]

Via "Baby Name Wizard" blog:
Is there a downside to choosing a formal version? Suppose, say, an Elizabeth wants stay Libby exclusively. That's seldom a problem. People are happy to call you whatever you call yourself. But suppose that Libby doesn't want what her parents want. Aha. This, I think, is the crux of the matter. "I want Libby on the birth certificate, otherwise she might decide she doesn't like it and wants to call herself Elizabeth instead!" May I gently suggest that is an argument in favor of full names, not against them? It's her name, not yours. If she ultimately decides that your preferred nickname doesn't fit -- or simply doesn't fit the occasion -- she'll be glad you left that choice in her hands.

Now, the caveats. Plenty of nicknames have become so well established as given names that they've earned their independence. Molly, Drew, Eliza and Jack are just a few of the many examples. Further, I wouldn't dream of telling parents to choose a name they actively dislike. If you love Libby but loathe Elizabeth, do what you've got to do. But if you're on the fence, I say err on the side of flexibility. An Elizabeth can always be Libby "for short," but a Libby can't be Elizabeth "for long."

(full version here: http://www.babynamewizard.com/archives/2007/10/to-nickname-or-not-to-nickname)

And here, a discussion of the uncontrollable quality of nicknames: http://www.namecandy.com/name-lady/2009/12/14/you-cant-hold-back-nicknames