Respect my child's name

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

I saw this article on CNN. Has such a thing ever happened to any of you? Has anyone, especially a relative, ever refused to call your child by its given name?

Or has anyone not 'respected' YOUR name? For example, in grade school there was a girl who constantly insisted on calling me Al. My name is Alison, and nobody else ever called me Al. I hated it and thought it made me sound like a trucker, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her to stop. Alternately, there was a guy in high school who decided it would be hilarious to start calling me Ali, in order to annoy me. The thing was, my nickname WAS Ali. Most people at high school didn't call me that, but my childhood friends and family all did. I thought when he realized that I was responding to the nickname and not getting annoyed in the least, he would catch on... but he never did.

Comments

[morphinae.livejournal.com]

I told my mom early on I liked the name Rowan for a boy, she had no qualms about telling me in a disgusted tone that it was a stupid name. I didn't talk to her about it or any other name for 6 months, until he was born and I announced his name (it was a secret until then). She turned to my Grandmother and told her that was the name she had picked out, all excited like.

Grandparents are fucking crazy with names.

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

My mom told me my third child would hate her name. We ended up changing it on our own before she was born. She still doesn't like it. She still insists that she will hate me when she's older because of her name. Esme Genevieve Colette is not a hate worthy name! I seriously don't get her problem.

[danne-gerous.livejournal.com]

With a name like Malory, I've had dozens of nicknames growing up: Malley, Mal, Mal-Mal, MarshMallow, Malentine, Maloricious, etc, etc. But the one I hated was Mo. Some kid started calling me that when I was a senior (I'd been at this school for 5 years) and suddenly everybody jumped on it. After knowing me for years, they all just decided to call me something else. So I stopped answering until everyone got the picture. If anyone called me Mo, I ignored them until they called me by my actual name. And then, I got called a bitch. High school.

[danne-gerous.livejournal.com]

Also, I know a girl named Alison and to be silly, I pronounced it like I'd heard on a Strongbad e-mail ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnPm3h6sl84 ). It never occurred to me that it might annoy her until someone told me she hated it. I never called her that again.

Cool story, bro.

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

People thought it was fun to call me Savanah Banana despite how much I absolutely HATED it. I only ever let one person call me that. To this day I can't stand it, but thankfully every has grown up mentally and stopped the stupid nickname.

I had a boyfriend named James and everyone under the sun called him Jimmy, so when I met him, I did too. But when we started dating he told me how much he hated it, but no one would ever call him James. I always try to ask the person what they want to be called, especially when nicknames are common with their name.

[danne-gerous.livejournal.com]

I have a friend named Amanda that I met in college. She said everyone in high school called her Banana and she hated it.

[waitingonsunday.livejournal.com]

Not exactly, but your personal example reminded me of something that's happened to me numerous times over the past decade or so. My name is Stephanie, but I've had many people mishear it as Bethany. It doesn't matter if I'm introducing myself or if someone else is introducing me, so I don't think the problem is that I pronounce my name confusingly. But what really kills me is that after being told my name is "Bethany," they almost always proceed to call me that once, and then begin addressing me as Beth. Now, I guess it's not really relevant WHICH wrong name they call me, but I've always thought if my name actually were Bethany, I'd be annoyed that total strangers took it upon themselves to call me by a nickname, like we're suddenly pals. MY NAME'S BETHANY, DAMMIT. I MEAN, STEPHANIE, DAMMIT.

[lilacmermaid.livejournal.com]

I'm a Stephanie too, and I had never had a problem like this until last year when this one woman called me Daphne for a day until someone finally told her she was wrong.

[joereaves.livejournal.com]

Well, I can see her point since a Jonah is someone who causes bad luck, but on the other hand *thinking* that and *saying* it are miles apart and saying it just so damn rude. So let's hope Jonah learns his manners from someone other than grandma...

[ohhvelocitygirl.livejournal.com]

when my mom named me chastity, my dad refused to call me that and called me danielle instead, which is my middle name. he actually wouldn't let her move in unless she agreed to let me go by my middle name. and now my mom's side of the family will only call me chas or chassy. it's unbelievably annoying.

my daughter's dad generally only calls her "boo" which is reason #325 why I hate him.

[ohhvelocitygirl.livejournal.com]

oh and my mom "won't let me" name my kid oliver if it's a boy. because he'll get beat up.

[beekeeperswife.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm horrible, but I REFUSE to call my nephew his real name. Not only do I think it's a horrible name to name a child, JoshuaPaul, NO SPACE, ONE WORD/NAME. He's named after the sperm donor that got my sister pregnant, which is nothing but a lazy, drug addict & alcoholic. If it would have just been Joshua Paul I don't think I'd have such an issue with it, but I hate it & I will not call him that. He's either called Noodle or J.P. (which, she spells JayPee, fml.)

[frost.livejournal.com]

I won't call my baby half-brother by his full name for the same reason; he's named after the sperm donor, whom is a complete d*ck. >:(

"(which she spells JayPee, fml.)"
Lol irl.

[quitmyscene.livejournal.com]

I was Jessica until middle school. Then, I got stuck in a class not knowing a single person and the first girl I befriended decided that she would call me Jess. I told her I'm Jessica, not Jess, but she said she likes Jess and that's what she's going to call me.

Ironically, I feel odd when people do call me Jessica now because I am strictly Jess. There are a few people at work/school who call me Jessica and it always takes me a minute to realize that they're talking to me. However, anyone who's close with me knows I'm Jess.

[babyjess8.livejournal.com]

I was Jessica all the way up to the end of high school. I almost re-invented myself at university where I became known as "Jess". Now I feel odd when people call me by my full name. Even my Grandmother calls me Jess now (big win!)

The one nn I have always hated is Jessie. I liken it to a dog's name.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___heyvanity/]

Well... I'm kind of guilty of this, but it's a DOG.

My future mother-in-law got a puppy about a year ago and I get they wanted her to be a "princess" and have a girly name, but they freakin' named her Cocoa Chanel. I don't even think she knows who Coco Chanel is! I know her daughter that lives at home doesn't because I asked her. I'm sure they know the brand Chanel, but whatever. I think it's a stupid name for a dog and it's so typical of "designer" dogs. It would be like me naming my dog after something I know very little about.

So, I call her Cocoa. They all call her Chanel but yeah.

I've never had an issue with any nicknames I've had. I'm Jennifer and I grew up being called Jenny. After HS I decided that Jenny sounded too young and I now refer to myself as Jenn. I never really get anything other than Jenn, Jenny, or Jennifer.

[wolf-shadow.livejournal.com]

I'm Melanie, or Emy. I HATE being called Mel but I wasn't confident enough to say anything until I went to Uni :S At Middle School I got loads of nicknames, but the most hated was Smell I think, obviously! :P

[theljfromheck.livejournal.com]

My ex's mom refused to call my son by his name(Harvey) and would call him Mikey(his middle name is Michael). That was pretty much before he was born so it doesn't matter since she's not in the picture, but if she was, it would irritate me.

I really don't like people calling me my given name. I'm okay when my family does because that's all they know me as, but friends and my s/o will call me Mariah even though they know it really bothers me.

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

I love the name Harvey!

[eicnan.livejournal.com]

My dad absolutely hates my name choices and hasn't said anything nice about it. The real sad thing is they're my maternal grandmother and my husband's maternal grandmother's nicknames. I don't know how one can hate choosing family names. If he wanted his mother's name somewhere in there perhaps he should have been a more involved parent and taken me to see my grandma once in awhile. As for the middle name if it's a boy I haven't even gotten that far with him since he's been so negative about the girl name choice. I'm dead-set on using my step-father's last name for the middle name (Nelson). He's the one who has been there for everything since I was 3 so my biological father will have to suck it up.

[requiem-morrow.livejournal.com]

I had a "friend" in the sixth grade who insisted I didn't look like a Lori, she was going to call me Lauren or Laura. Now, I don't really like my name and don't really have a problem with either of the other names, but no one gets to rename me, especially someone who annoys the crap out of me LOL. Needless to say, I put an end to it.

[bandnerd88.livejournal.com]

I've had people try to call me "Meg" or "Meggie," but I hate both and always stop them. (My dad was the one exception - he was allowed to call me Meg.)

I don't have kids quite yet, but when I do people damn well better call them by their name. (Unless, of course, they decide when they're older they have something they'd rather go by, which is totally up to them.) My mom and I disagree on names sometimes, but she's assured me that she will use whatever name I pick. She says she already had her turn to name kids.

[becomingun.livejournal.com]

I'm Georgia. I am 21. I have always BEEN Georgia, and it's a sort of family name so I am certainly not the FIRST Georgia in my family. I have a great-aunt who INSISTS that my name is Georgette. She has always called me Georgette, and no matter how many times family members OR ME tell her that that's not my name, she tuts and keeps insisting that that's my name. It makes NO SENSE.

[nicole0331.livejournal.com]

What I'm wondering is how common it really is for people to be jerks about a name you chose for your child AFTER your child is already officially named that? I figured keeping our names a secret through my pregnancy would weed out idiots who decide to make rude comments about the names and after our son is already named what we choose, they will be less inclined to open their mouths and spout out rudeness....am I wrong?

[cremepuff.livejournal.com]

You would think so, but considering that I've seen similar stories on here multiple times, apparently it's not that uncommon.

[heyskeleton.livejournal.com]

For me personally, nicknames are something people have to earn the privilege to use. They're not given rights. To me, they're a sign of affection between people - it displays the intimate bond between them and the mutual trust. Unless someone specifies that they don't mind a certain nickname/prefer going by a nickname (like my dad, who goes by Tony and only uses Anthony when it's absolutely necessary), I don't think it should ever be assumed that because your name's Samantha, you're automatically a Sam.

I haven't had too much trouble. My name (Kayla) doesn't have too many nickname options. I get called K occasionally, which I don't mind as I use it myself (my only preference is that it's spelt K not Kay) and one of my friends used to call me Kala (sounds kind of like colour).

More often than not, my name is mistaken for something else. I worked with someone who insisted on calling me Karla, and I get called Kara or Carol a lot on the phone.

[satunian.livejournal.com]

My name is Diana, and in jr high I had a friend who would always say "Hi, Di, don't die". =\ basically

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

Wow. That would get old pretty fast.

[gipro2003.livejournal.com]

My grandma refused to call my brother Wyatt for the first few years. She insisted on calling him Mecki. Now she calls him Wyatt though.

I have had people call me the Spanish version of my name, which I HATE! It wouldn't even be pronounced the same in Spanish due to the spelling. But this hasn't really happened for a while.

[cremepuff.livejournal.com]

It's one thing to have a special, unique nickname for a child. It's another thing entirely to call a child by his or her middle name (or some name you like better) just because you dislike his or her given first name. That, in my opinion, is incredibly childish and disrespectful.

[willsjoy.livejournal.com]

Tell that to my parents...

Before we found out the sex of the baby, my parents liked the name Molly, which we are not really fond of. After we found out it's another girl and announced that we're naming her Moira, they said "well we'll just call her Molly." I'm sorry, what?

[cremepuff.livejournal.com]

Personal story:

A good friend of my husband and I, whom we've both known for a decade, called me Katherine through much of high school. I've always gone by Katie, but in my case it's short for Kathleen, not Katherine. Even after I told him "That's not my name," he did that for several years--and it was annoying. Even now, he'll still call me that sometimes, but I'm used to it. It's certainly better than being called Kathy. Oh wait, that's my mother-in-law's name! Haha...

This whole idea of family members outright refusing to use a child's given name is shocking to me. I know that my paternal grandma and my dad's sister really wanted me to a Margaret Mary (just like them), but once I was born and named, they accepted it. In fact, in subsequent years they told my mom that I was definitely a Katie.

[willsjoy.livejournal.com]

I have posted about this in here before. We are naming our second daughter Moira because we love it and when I had the u/s I just knew that that IS her name. My family hates it and told me they were going to call her Molly (wtf?) because they like that name. At first, I laughed, but when they kept saying it I responded with "her name is not Molly, her name is Moira and you will call her that." Her middle name will most likely be Josephine, so I've told then they can call her MJ if they must (even though I've always kinda hated that nickname) or Mo or Moira Jo, etc.

But it's sad to me, that they're acting like that. My husband and I call her by her name if it's just us ("Moira has been kicking me all night") but when my family is around we just say "the baby" because I don't feel like getting shit about it.

[nandy-pandy.livejournal.com]

I'm sure this is going to happen to me, and I'll have to be a giant bitch to people. The thing is, everyone is going to think "I wouldn't have named my baby [whatever]" but guess what? It's not your baby!

[riesiel.livejournal.com]

My sister’s name is Sariah and my grandpa didn’t like it so he decided to call her Sarah instead, now he calls her Sary. I don’t think he has called her Sariah once in her entire life. Which I think is pretty sad.

My mom’s name is Charissa (pronounced Kar eesa) and she has people call her, Carissa, Sharissa, Terissa, etc. She recently moved to a new town where no one knows her and has begun to introduce herself to everyone as Reesa, she hasn’t had anyone mess it up yet. She loves it!