last names..

[mykissmightkill.livejournal.com]

please feel free to ask me to delete this is its not an ok post..

I was talking with the bf today about last names and how changing my last name is the one thing that I don't like about the idea of getting married. I love my last name, (Motyczka) and have had moments of dread picturing the day that its no longer there. I feel like it is such a huge part of me, atleast I feel it is and have a huge attachment too it. Ive contemplated the idea of keeping it and adding my husbands name. My SO and I have talked future plans and def. plan to be together forever at this point (yes i know, you never know what can happen) So at this point, if i were to take both our names, i would be Tara Lynn (mn) Motyczka Kurtas. And while that makes me happy having both names, I think my SO was a little.. not disappointed but a little sad seeming that I didn't seem keen on having just his name. (his sister got married and changed her name just this summer) He kept going on about how he was the only boy in his family to carry on his name and how if he has 2 girls for children it would stop with him.
So anyway I had a couple questions.

Is is customary for the maiden name to come first than your husbands name?
Does your husband usually take on your name as well or would, for instance, I be Tara Motyczka Kurtas and he Steve Kurtas?
I noticed one of the last posts a long hypenated name of both family's (  i believe) names, How do you feel about parents who might have names as in the last question, and what would you think the kids' last names should be? Do you think long hyphenated names are bad?

This may seem stupid, but its something that means a lot to me and as I get closer to feeling like I am with THE ONE, and an engagement seems more possible, I think about it more and more.

Thanks!