A how-to list I wrote for baby names

[decembermalice.livejournal.com]

Hello!

I post how-to lists on a site called eHow, and today I wrote a silly one about how to and how not to name babies. I thought you'd find it funny or entertaining, so I'm posting it here. I hope you enjoy it! It's meant to be funny, not serious...sort of. :)

Step 1
DO use a trendy name if you like it. For instance, if Hayden's your favorite, go for it.

DO NOT plan for a bunch of kids so you can 'ayden' name them alphabetically. Cayden and Jayden may like their names, but Bayden, Dayden, Fayden, and Zayden may not be so happy.

Step 2
DO name a child after a relative. Grandma Stella's name is perfectly nice for a child.

DO NOT name your child after all of your relatives. A child named Stella-Bethany-Christina-Melissa-Brittany may not appreciate it.

Step 3
DO name a child after a celebrity or TV character that you're a fan of, if their name is Elizabeth or something else that's a normal, acceptable name.

DO NOT name a child after a celebrity or TV character with a name that will not work in every day life. For example, baby Tila Tequila and baby Stimpy may not appreciate your love for their namesakes.

Step 4
DO use unique names if you're sick of the original name. For example, Alessandra makes a lovely alternative to Alexandra.

DO NOT misspell a name to make it unique. Little Ahlykszandera will not like it when no one can spell her name.

Step 5
DO use unisex names if you like them. However, balance them out with a masculine or feminine middle name. Tyler Michael or Tyler Jane is a gender specific name, and will give your child options if they do not like their unisex name.

DO NOT use purely unisex names. Tyler Jordan will probably be upset when he or she gets birthday cards made for the opposite gender.

Step 6
DO give a child two middle names if you want to. If it's significant to you, go for it. Ryan Michael James is perfectly acceptable.

DO NOT give your child seventeen middle names. It's just wrong!

Step 7
DO name your child a name that is also a word. Grace, Rose, and Faith are all acceptable names.

DO NOT name your child a word that is not a name. Braces, Cheese, and Evil Monkey are not acceptable names for children.



The link, for anyone curious, is http://www.ehow.com/how_4555999_significant-celebrity-baby-names-responsibly.html