Frustrated!

[smthgtobelieve.livejournal.com]

It's been a while since I've posted on here.. I am 3 or less weeks away from my due date (finally!). My problem is, the father of my baby has not been involved at all with my pregnancy, much like our last two children (doesn't ask how I'm feeling, when/how my doctor appointments are, doesn't mention the pregnancy at all. I've done ALL of the preparing.. including buying everything I need). I had asked him before about his ideas for names, and he always said he didn't have any ideas, or he would make jokes. So I figured it was up to me to pick the name, like it was with our daughter. And I after a lot of thought, I picked out a name. It wasn't exactly easy.. I'm picky about names, and I had a hard time figuring it out. Anyway, the other day, he lets me know that he wants to pick a name, and doesn't like the one I have picked out. With 3 weeks left. After months of him not having an opinion, or even trying to figure it out with me. And I know it's a good thing that he's actually caring about it this time, but.. I really don't think we'll agree on a name before I have the baby. I guess I shouldn't be too worried about it, but it's really stressing me out.. My question is, how much do I work on a different name with him, or should I just say, "no it's going to be this" and he can deal with it? I know he has a right to have an opinion or help me figure out a name, but he hasn't been concerned with the pregnancy before this and, did I mention that I'm DUE IN 3 WEEKS?? isn't it a little too late?? any opionions would be helpful.. THANKS!

Comments

[morphinae.livejournal.com]

Are you together? Living together/married? If not, I'd take his suggestions under consideration, but ultimately it's up to you if he's not willing to be involved.

[smthgtobelieve.livejournal.com]

No I moved out about 4 months ago. We had no way to pay the bills, let alone get ready for another baby, and he wouldn't work with me about getting a job or moving somewhere he could get a job. Thanks for the reply!

[morphinae.livejournal.com]

Ewww, I had one of those, but it took me 4 years to get rid of him. Thank god I didn't listen to him or else my first son would be named Draco.

[orbg.livejournal.com]

With that in mind, I'd use the name you picked, and tell him when he starts being involved, he can have a say.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. My best friend's mom had the same issue when she was pregnant with my best friend. She wasn't even living with BFF's father anymore, because he cheated on her, but he still wanted a say.

If she had listened to him, my BFF would be Gloria Jeanne instead of Kylie Lenore. Yuck.

[031307.livejournal.com]

I agree. Take his considerations into thought, but ultimately, it's YOUR choice. If his choice sucks, then just choose yours!

What are the names in question? I'm curious.

[oni85.livejournal.com]

your baby, in the end. i mean, he's had his chance. and you shouldn't name your child something YOU don't like.

[giveitfullheart.livejournal.com]

I agree with everyone else. It's good for you to let him to be involved because it's not only your child. It is his as well. But if he's been uninvolved up until 3 weeks before you're due, he kind of gave up his rights in a way. Take it into consideration and TRY to at least kind of incorporate the name he likes. Maybe if you don't like it, use it as a middle name or use something similar. If it's too awful though...I'd just go with whatever you want.

[talonsage.livejournal.com]

You snooze, you lose. You're the one doing all the work, and in the end...will he even be involved after the baby is born? Tell him you'll take his names under consideration.

Then name the baby whatever you want.

Period.

[0o-faerie.livejournal.com]

I actually agree with most of what has been said here: Consider the name he likes, consider including the name he likes as a middle name or try to find a compromise. If none of that is working out...it's your decision. Just because he is the father doesn't mean he has a veto on naming the baby, especially not since you're the one doing all the work.
Good luck!

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

I say, screw him. If he's been so unsupportive and uninterested up until this point, why should he get any say in naming the baby? Take his opinions into account if you want, but in the end, I think the decision should be yours.

[smthgtobelieve.livejournal.com]

Thanks everyone! That's what I thought, but it's nice to hear I'm not just being overly emotional about it.. The name that I like is Max, a longer version of it (Maxwell, Maximilian, Maxton) and the middle name to be Dane, which I picked out thinking of the baby's father (his ancestors are Danish).. He really has no idea what he likes. He's just randomly suggested 2 names, neither of which I hate, but I can't see them being my baby's name. And I forgot to mention, the baby will have his last name, just like our other two children.. and it's a long, hyphenated last name that is a pain. So it's not like I'm not giving him any part of the name!

[arbus.livejournal.com]

good for you!! yes, he gets the last name, plus he has been an insensitive jerk, so he is lucky he gets that. ;) name your little guy whatever you choose, since he obviously hasnt put any thought into it.

i think maxwell dane, or maddox dane are awesome! best of luck to you!

[smthgtobelieve.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[emtotherescuee.livejournal.com]

I really like it too, actually.

[0o-faerie.livejournal.com]

Max(well) Dane, that sounds so great!

[azelmaroark.livejournal.com]

Family is so much more than genetics and whose sperm it was. Your baby daddy is not trying to be a father, and IMO that means the final say is absolutely yours. Quite honestly, he sounds like a douche from your later comments, and I think you'd be going above and beyond to even take his ideas into consideration. Definitely don't feel obligated to choose a name that isn't working for you just because he wants it.

Agreeing with everyone else who said that when he starts participating, he can have a say.

(Icon refers to the baby daddy. =P)

[platomapus.livejournal.com]

i would take his name into consideration and make him feel like you appreciate him taking the time to think of something...but in the end i would explain to him you liked the name you picked out better and stick with yours!