How have your associations with names affected your choices?

[jerseygrits.livejournal.com]

How much have your name preferences been influenced by specific people you've known and your associations with them?

The name Carly used to be at the top of my list when I was younger (around 12-14 years old), and it was largely because of a girl I went to school with named Carly who I thought was really pretty and cool. (It hasn't been on my list for a while, however.) The name at the top of my list now is the name of a girl my ex-boyfriend used to be interested in before we were dating. For a while, I thought I would never be able to use it because she always came to mind when I started thinking about the name and it just bugged me, but at some point after the relationship was history, that ceased to be an issue.

What are your personal experiences with this? What names are you either considering or ruling out because of people you've known? Have you added any names to your list that are outside of your normal taste because of people you've known and liked? Have you overcome any negative associations to keep a name on your list?

I was going to ask another question in a different post, but it's somewhat related, so I guess I'll pose it now as well: Regardless of a negative or positive association with the specific person, how far-removed do you have to be from someone who has a name you want to use to not feel like you are "stealing" the name, or just to avoid your kid being "one of the [whoevers]".

I prefer recognizable but rarely used names, and ideally, my child would be the only one with that name that people have met (my boyfriend joked last night that I won't use a name "if more than four people in the world have it." :p ), so this will be a consideration for me when I actually do start having kids.

A married couple who are basically acquaintances of mine have a daughter with another name that's near the top of my list right now. The fact that they'd used it was actually one of the reasons I started to seriously consider it. But they live across the country from where I am now, and in all likelihood I won't see them again in my life more than a few times at the most. I've never heard the name on anyone else (except for a character in a book), and it's not in the top 1,000. So I feel like I'm pretty safe there.

But what if it's your cousin's kid who has the name? What if it's your neighbor's kid? When does the association become too close for you to use a name, and when is it far enough away that you feel you can? For those of you who have already named children, what are your specific experiences with making these decisions?

That's a lot of questions! I look forward to reading your answers. :)

Comments

[sarapod.livejournal.com]

Cousin's kid's name, IMHO, is off-limits. I mean, do what you want, but be prepared for some confusing family reunions. And possibly a bitter cousin. But, if you have your kid first and happen to like a name that they've had on their list...Well, not much they can do, right? Oo, that makes me sound evil. >:) Really, I'm not pro name-thieving, I swear!

Friends' kids' names are just as (If not more!) off-limits, too. Again, only IMO. If your neighbor is just your neighbor and not your friend, I don't see any reason to NOT use that name - It's not like they have copyright on it.

The family that lives across the country...Hell, even if they lived in the same town, if they're merely acquaintances then it's not that big of a deal. If nothing else, if it ever comes up, just pretend like you forgot/didn't know their kid was named that. :p

A lot of these things are on a case-by-case basis, I think. But, a lot of people are anal-retentive enough that even if you didn't know each other when you were naming your kids, if they have the same name, they automatically get a bad taste in their mouth about you. Too many people treat their kids' names like they've got a copyright on them or something...

[makeitstopjamie.livejournal.com]

It does kinda make for confusing family reunions. I have a cousin named Sarah and a second cousin named Sarah. And sometimes you have to clarify which Sarah you're talking about. These two Sarahs are also close to ten years apart.

[274-days.livejournal.com]

iawtc

[ohhowlovely.livejournal.com]

I really liked the name Landon for my son, but my boyfriend hated it because of the soccer player Landon Donovan (I don't even know who he is!)
we chose Cole instead ;-)

[makeitstopjamie.livejournal.com]

I think it all depends on how much you see the person. Like it probably wouldn't be a problem with the couple that lives across the country that you'll only see a few times. I probably wouldn't even use the names of my second cousins' kids because I see a few of them at least twice a year.

I have a profound dislike for the name Jamila because I was bullied by a Jamila in elementary school. I also don't really like Jenna because of a girl I knew.

My husband (jokingly I hope) suggested the name Megan Ann (after a very good friend and ex-girlfriend).

[dearxannbellina.livejournal.com]

I think the same first name as a cousin is alright, if they have different last names. However in my family there has been a lot of marrying and divorcing and remarrying on my father's side. So my dad's "real father" has 2 granddaughters with the same full name. Both are Mikayla Michelle Lastname. That's when it gets a bit weird for me.

[274-days.livejournal.com]

I've worked in childcare for about 6.5 yrs...
It's funny when you associate certain names to particular children. Every Mitchell I ever looked after was very cocky, and we had soooo much trouble a couple of Nathans
Which is disappointing, because I happen to love both the names, but cant help myself thinking of "those kids" every time I hear/see them!

[skittlebox.livejournal.com]

Jason, Dean, Shannon I can never think of without thinking of the people I don't like with those names.

There are also a few names of people I went to school with and I wouldn't want to name my kids those names, because they always remindme of school blah. Names I can think of right now are... Sally, Rachel, Flora, Matthew, Mark, Shane.

[thejoysofjess.livejournal.com]

A crazy little boy named Nathan put me off of that name forever. Zachary too. And Baxter, but it's not like I'd ever use Baxter anyway. Luckily I still like Nathaniel. I'll cry if someone ruins that name for me. There are a lot more ruined names out there (Oh the joys of teaching), like Emma. Oh I can never have an Emma. My husband hates the name though so I guess it's okay that it's ruined for me.

I don't think I've ever added a name based on liking someone.

I can't use Anna because it's my cousin's name. I do really love that name though.

[krosp.livejournal.com]

I think for me, how close someone has to be for me to use a name that is "theirs" depends on how common the name is.

The more common the name, the closer the person can be for me to be happy to use it. For example, I have a good friend called Anna, but since half the world is also called Anna, I don't feel like I'm stealing it.

The more rare the name, the further away the person would have to be. If I only someone with a name I've only heard once before in my life, I would have to have completely completely lost contact with them and have hardly anyone I still know who knows that person, before I'd feel I can use it.

[krosp.livejournal.com]

^I meant, if I -knew- someone with a name.... not "only"

[singhappy02.livejournal.com]

I say no to the cousin thing. Simply because I have a cousin (albeit a distant one) who has the exact name, with the exact spelling as myself. Kristin Nicole F********.

It not only makes for confusing family reunions, though I've never seen her at one I've just always had to clarify that I'm Jim's kid, but it's put me in some really awkward situations. She's older than me, but like I said she's a distant cousin, and it was one of the scariest moments of my life (to that point) when I was 16 to get a call from the IRS looking for me for some offense, and for several cops to show up at my door to arrest me (what?!) for fraud mere hours later. Apparently they didn't check to hard when looking for Kristin F******** and check that she was 23 and I was clearly 16 at the time.

Just to clarify: When my mother (who assumed there was a mistake) dragged me out of my room the cop took one look at me and goes "Shit." and they apologized profusely, asked if we knew where to locate her and left.

[sunleap.livejournal.com]

When I was pregnant with my son I loved the name Donovan. My husband said no. 3 day before I was due I asked him why he didn't like Donovan. Completely forgetting he had "girlfriend" with that last name. I loved the name so much I didn't care. We have a Donovan. This girl lives on the other side of the country and I don't even know her. My husband just didn't want me thinking he liked the name because of her.

[hockeychick57.livejournal.com]

I work at a daycare and that has certainly ruined some of my favorite names for me, haha. I used to love the name Dominic, but there was an absolute terror of a child at my daycare named Dominic and after saying it thousands of times ("Dominic, please stop throwing toys. Dominic, don't run. Dominic, you need to share.") I just couldn't even imagine naming my son that.