Nicknames

[smallandneedy.livejournal.com]

I've been reading this LJ for a few weeks now, and whenever people decide on a name, they decide nicknames or want people to suggest nicknames and so on.

My question is: Why?

I'm from Norway, and giving people a nickname isn't really anything we do. Of course, within families there's always the occational nicknames for teasing and just for fun, but lets say if people name their kid Madeleine or Elisabeth, they actually call them that as well.

I've always thought nicknames are just a way of being lazy, but I really want to know why you pick nicknames for your kids, and not just name them whatever you nickname them, since that's what they're gonna go by anyway.

And, um, sorry if I come off as rude or anything. I'm just wondering :)

Comments

[freezemyazaleas.livejournal.com]

I think nicknames are good if the kid gets to pick their own nickname. I think it's a way for the kid to express themselves. For example, if I named my daughter Alexandra, she could go by the full name, or she could have a personality that better fits Alex, Ally, Lexie, Annie, Zan, etc and decide to go by that nickname.

Also, I think parents choose to give their kid a full name and a nickname because they like both of them. For example, I like both Catherine and the nickname Katie, so I'd call my hypothetical daughter both of them at different times.

Oh, I just thought of another reason! A lot of nicknames are really cute for children, but don't grow up easily, like Billy for William. If I just name my hypothetical son Billy, he won't be able to choose to go by a more mature name when he grows up, like he would if he were named William nn Billy.

[thejoysofjess.livejournal.com]

Very well put. These are all of my reasons as well.

[xpinkxamazingx.livejournal.com]

I Am the total opposite. I am due in 4 weeks and i want a name for our son that can not be shortened or anything. I hate nicknames so much.
Why give a name and then call the child a different name?

[kellyjoy.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, have you picked a name yet? My brother-in-law's sister felt the same way and named her son Ian.

[xpinkxamazingx.livejournal.com]

We REally want James. I was ok with it but now i am thinking people may call him Jim or Jimmy. I will have to tell people his name is JAMES.

[lustdumpster.livejournal.com]

if it helps at all, the only james > jimmy i've ever known is my uncle, and he is jimmy because my grandparents wanted him to be. i've known a lot of james's that have only ever gone by james. i don't think most kids would turn james into jimmy (which is a completely different sounding name, as well as longer) like they would alexander into alex or something. i don't think you should have to worry much about james, it's a good name.

sorry if that came off as rude or condescending or anything, i can't figure out how to word it so that it sounds pleasant haha

[xpinkxamazingx.livejournal.com]

not been rude at all. It has helped where people have said he will not get called Jimmy unless i say so.
Thanks.

[smallandneedy.livejournal.com]

I thought most people would call a James for Jamie.

I really like the name James actually. :)

[quite-rosie.livejournal.com]

My husband is a James, and doesn't go by Jim or Jimmy. However, his father is James too, but goes by Jim, so that is how we tell them apart.

Well, actually, I call him Jimmy when I'm making fun of him :-D

[pickle-breath.livejournal.com]

My aunt did the same thing with her children (Natalie, Charles and Robert) she just simply told anyone who used nicknames for her children that she named the kids, not them and they should respect her wishes. It really wasn't too hard to get everyone to learn that.

[jesus--suburbia.livejournal.com]

My dad's name is James, and no one calls him Jimmy, he hates it, and just said no. He has no problem. Same with my brother Anthony, who hates Tony (so do my parents), and it's been a strict "NO TONY/AJ" rule, and they've been fine.

[searlait.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ian's easily nicknamed. My little brother's name is Ian and we call him Ian, E.N., E.Z., and Mr. E.

[kellyjoy.livejournal.com]

That's what I thought, too. His mother makes it a point of introducing him to people as, "Ian. Just Ian."

[chucklincanuck.livejournal.com]

I totally agree...I also thought it was a bit strange that the parents decide the nickname for the child, even before they are born! I would only name my child what I want to call them.

[lilacmermaid.livejournal.com]

I love nicknames, and the names I like best intentionally have a wide variety of nickname possibilities, but I don't worry too much about which one(s) they're going to be called. I like the idea of them being called different things depending on who's saying it.

I also like the idea of them not being restricted to just one of them, so even if they mostly go by Lizzie or whatever when they're a kid, they can choose to go by Beth or Elizabeth or something else entirely when they grow up. I feel like that's less easy if their official name starts out as Liz.

And besides, I think some of the best nicknames just happen naturally, and there's no way to plan or predict them in advance.

[babykalina.livejournal.com]

I don't think nicknames are a way of being lazy.. they're more of a way of being less formal. Some names are really just that.. very formal sounding. It just sounds more friendly and personal calling someone a nickname. *shrug*

[shortbutfast.livejournal.com]

yeah, i don't get it either. i'm from switzerland but now living in the usa.
i think here it's this thing about how they like to abbreviate everything. i always thought nicknames should just develop naturally.

[morgainlefee.livejournal.com]

Nicknames are also a sort of family thing. My family calls me Lissie or Lulu a but I would never allow anyone else to do that. My nicknames came from the fact that Alyssa is a mouthfull for a baby learning to talk. Just terms of endearment I guess....

[luxury-bus.livejournal.com]

See, I'm one of those people who gave my children nicknames before they came out of the womb.

I have triplets: Henry, Amelia, and Eleanor. They each had their own unique little personality while in the womb, and so I gave them nicknames that seemed to fit... Henry was H, because he's a silent little guy; Amelia was Meals, because she was the spunky one; and Eleanor was Elle, because she seemed really classy.

Now that they're born, we mainly call them by their full name. We know that when they're older, they won't necessarily want to go by the nicknames we had pre-planned for them, and we're okay with that if they don't. It was just fun to give them nicknames while we waited their arrival.

[lustdumpster.livejournal.com]

how'd you know which was which in the womb?

[luxury-bus.livejournal.com]

Based off of the ultrasound, they labeled the babies Triplet #1, Triplet #2, and Triplet #3... this was also because, during the c-section, Triplet #1 would be the first baby out, Triplet #2 would be the second out, and so on.

Because I knew where they were positioned, I could assign them names accordingly. Amelia (#1) was a helluva kicker, whereas Eleanor (#2) hardly kicked at all. Henry (#3) was so small that it hardly even felt like he was there.

[lustdumpster.livejournal.com]

wow, that's so interesting. i had no idea it was possible to differentiate.

[luxury-bus.livejournal.com]

Well, it's also just that maternal feeling of knowing. It's an automatic instinct, I think. It's what I felt when I first saw all three of them lined up--I didn't need to look at their medical bracelets or anything, I just knew which was which and that was that.

[laminy.livejournal.com]

I don't really get it either. I think that if you know ahead of time that you're going to call Benjamin Ben, or Charles Charlie, or something like that, then that's what you should name them.

[zorianna.livejournal.com]

My whole family has always been sort of anti-nickname. In fact. my mom was considering naming my sister Kaitlyn and calling her Katie, but then just decided if she wanted to call her Katie, why not just name her that? So she did. And all my my cousins go by their formal name, except for the occasional calling Vincent Vinnie. But that's rare. I've never been a big fan of them myself. People always say that "oh that nicknames cute but they can go by their formal name when they get older!" but from what I've seen, it's hard to shake a nickname when it's become so established. I know a 23 year old guy who still goes by Nicky, which just sounds ridiculous to me! LoL I dont plan on giving my kids nicknames.

[thejoysofjess.livejournal.com]

I think you just have to be firm when you break a nickname. My uncle was called Kenny when he was younger, but everyone except his parents call him Ken now. My mother isn't a Jeni anymore. My brother isn't a Danny. My cousin isn't Dusty and he's only 10! He's already changed into a Dustin.

And with some people, as they age, it definitely becomes just natural not to call them by younger nicknames.

[pythianlegume7.livejournal.com]

I love the nn Cate for Catherine. However I don't think that Cate is substantial enough to be a real name, plus everybody assumes it is short for Catherine anyway, and I like the name Catherine as well. I always plan nicknames for my favorite names.

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

In the English-speaking world, nicknames have been in use pretty much forever. But if you don't want to give your kid a nickname, you don't have to. There are a lot of reasons for giving nicknames, other than being lazy. Sometimes they're used as a term of endearment, or to differentiate family members with the same name. Sometimes the parents just like the way the nickname sounds, so they use it.

And if people give their kid a full name (like Margaret) and then call them exclusively by their nickname ("Maggie"), it's usually because they want the kid to have an 'official' sounding name to use on job applications and professional items and such.

[aquilinum.livejournal.com]

I love longer names that can be shortened to nicknames, but I find it somewhat creepy when parents predetermine WHICH nickname to use before they've even conceived and insist on others only using that particular one -- to the exclusion, in some cases, of the actual name! Nicknames develop organically if left to their own devices, and I'm a much bigger fan of that.

[arbus.livejournal.com]

i agree completely with sandtree above me.

just like it is the norm in other countries to call children by their given name, it is pretty much the norm here in the united states to use nicknames. it doesnt mean laziness.

i have some names i like - cassandra, for example - that i dont like the nickname for (cassie), so i would never name my child that because of it.

personally, i am a nicknamer, i quickly nickname everyone i come across almost immediately, its just a habit. even my new cat, nigel, i thought when i got him "how am i going to nickname him?" and sure enough, i dropped the L from his name and started calling him just "nige" one day and it has stuck.

i love the name isabel but i really love the nickname issie. i love francesca for many reasons, but one of them is because i love the nn frankie. those are just examples. also, there are names i really love that dont really have much in the way of natural nicknames, fiona or sophie for example, and that makes me hesitate. but i like the longer, more formal names - catherine, elisabeth, margaret, etc - because it gives options, and i think thats nice to have. my name is carrie, and i have often wished it was something longer, more elegant/formal sounding with the nickname carrie.

[0o-faerie.livejournal.com]

When I first discovered this community, I felt exactly the same way. I'm Dutch, and we don't give people nicknames either. I think it's because original Dutch names are mostly pretty short. Also, names that are considered nicknames here (and I guess in the entire English speaking world) are perfectly acceptaple as given/formal name, i.e. Nick, for example.

I still don't really care for nicknames, but the concept makes sense and can even come in handy (when a kid doesn't like its name, for example).

[thorabrighid.livejournal.com]

i don't get it either, and i'm from america. i think if you name a kid something, you should call him or her that.

[sweatydog.livejournal.com]

In my family we go by both. Like in school and such I am "Britni" but with my sister and my best friend I am "Brit" and my mom and dad sometimes call me "Brit Dawn"

But I wouldn't want my formal name to be "Brit Dawn".

And my best friend used to go solely by "Jessi" or "Jessi Lee" but as she got older she went by her full name "Jessica"

(although now I call her Hessi)

For us its more like our formal names and sort of pet names that only the people close to you call you.

I don't understand when people name a kid something they will never go by though.

[sarahrose.livejournal.com]

Well, I think parents should consider nicknames when considering names (because it is a big American thing) and I think they should suggest nicknames, have ideas what they like and don't like, but I think that, well... Think of it this way: we don't get to choose our names. Our parents do. When I really think about that, it seems insane. So... if you're given a name that has nicknames that can come out of it, you kind of have an option to "name yourself." I like that idea. If my future daughter Katherine, for example, doesn't like her full name, she can go by any number of nicknames that she likes better.

I wish I had a nickname-able name! (Sarah isn't, lol.)

[sarahrose.livejournal.com]

True, but to me, those are separate names and have nothing to do with Sarah.

[freezemyazaleas.livejournal.com]

A Sarah I know goes by Sarey sometimes.

[sifukatara.livejournal.com]

Nicknames are just another way of showin' your children you love them. But more importantly, it's showin' them that they're special. It's somethin' all their own and it makes the bond between you and your children stronger. At least that's what I've seen in the kids I take care of and have interacted with.

[doodlbug.livejournal.com]

I think nicknames sometimes are meant to show a closer relationship. Like you go by Kathleen at work, but with friends and family you go by Kathy.
Going by a nickname doesn't have to cheapen your "real" name or make it less important.
I am one of the peeps who has a name that is more commonly used as a nickname (Tori) and a lot of people automatically assume that it's short for Victoria.
When thinking about my future children's names, nicknames will play a big part. Because I know that even if I name my son William with no intent on calling him Will, if he chooses the nickname for himself or his friends choose it, I'm not going to be able to stop him from using it.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

When I worked in a nursing home, my Evangeline was called Vangie. :P

[yourcrowbar.livejournal.com]

i kind of hate nicknames. well, i don't hate, i just don't get it. i never call anyone a nickname unless they introduce themselves as their nickname. i think it's so random when people call me "jess" and i've known them for like, less than a minute or something.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

I think it depends, as most people have said.

In my view, nicknames are more of terms of endearment as opposed to laziness.

My man's name is Daniel, and he refers to himself as such to employers, professors, people he doesn't know. I call him Dan, and his family calls him Danny. I sometimes call him Danny if I'm around his family too long.

But NONE of his siblings are shortened: Jessica, Michael, and Jeremy. ALL of them go by their full names in most situations.

My littler brother was given two middle names in case he didn't like his first name: August Alexander Peyton. Turns out he loves his first name. But ONLY his closest friends can call him Augie.

My sister went by Beth until she was about 12, and then refused to speak to anyone who didn't call her Bethany thereafter. Well, except me, because I can't break the habit. But I call her Bethany when talking ABOUT her.

I think that people choose nn's before kids are born sometimes because they like one over another, and would like the one to stick (see the example above, preferring Lottie to Charlie for Charlotte). I use nn's affectionately, and I guess I'm different because my name can't be shortened (Leah - Lee-Ah), and actually many people refer to me by my full name, because it rhymes.

[pickle-breath.livejournal.com]

in my family, nicknames aren't use exclusively- but the parents so tell us what nicknames are not allowed. I have a nephew named Andrew, and we are not allowed to call him Andy, as his parents hate it. My husband is Michael, not Mike for the same reason.

on my side, it entirely depends on the mood whether or not I get called Trace Tracy or Tracy-Beth. (the last one usually meaning I was in for a verbal butt-whooping.) I also had nicknames that just my friends used.

Personally, I love the name Charlie for a girl, and I would name my daughter that- if my husband didn't throw a hissy fit. So we compromised on Charlotte with the nickname Charlie.

I hope that was coherent...

[searlait.livejournal.com]

Nicknames are strange for me. I generally stop using them for people as soon as they hit 10+ years old and just go to "sugar", "sweetheart", "honey", and "baby". But I have zero qualms about calling a very small child a nickname.

Nicknames are really a way to be lazy, though; I think they're more of an affectionate thing. I call a little boy I know West when his name is Weston, because I adore him and view my calling him a shortened version of his name a close, affectionate thing.

[tryyingtoevolve.livejournal.com]

I think some names can be either a full name or a nickname, like Jon or Jack or something, and in that case, I mostly think that you should just name the kid what you want to call him. However, in the US (and most other English speaking countries), nicknames are just that -- nicknames. It's pretty rare (although it's becoming more so) to find a child with the full name of Bill or Nikki. They're both perfectly acceptable names, but when you see Bill or Nikki on a job application in the US, it looks like the person didn't know enough to use their formal name. So that's why most people here give their kids the formal name of William or Nicole, but call them by their nickname almost exclusively. This is what I plan to do with Meg (Margaret), Ellie (Eleanor), Cate (Catherine), Charlie (Charles), Will (William), and Sam (Samuel) because I think that the formal names sound better on the business card test than the nicknames do.

[waitingonsunday.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'd only use a nickname around the house, in a playful manner, sort of as an endearment. I also think nicknames are a nice way of giving the child more choices once they're old enough to know what they prefer. My brother Jeremiah absolutely hated his name as a child, and would only answer to Jerry. Now that he's older, he gets mad if you call him Jerry (which I often do, out of habit), and prefers Jeremiah.

And I don't intend to do this, but I'm guessing it's nice for children named to honor someone, especially if that someone is a regular in their life. One of them using a nickname or the use of two different nicknames can help lessen any confusion. I can also see it being used by parents who have named their baby after someone close to them even though they don't especially love the name.

But, yeah, if I name a child something, it's going to be because I like the name, so that's what I intend to call by them most of the time.