Middle name choices

[jerseygrits.livejournal.com]

So, my middle name is my mother's maiden name, and I've always thought that was pretty cool. I've also always planned on doing the same thing with my future children and giving them my maiden name as their middle name. As a result of this, I haven't even really considered first names as middle names for a very long time.

The way I see it, if I like a first name that much, why would I want to stick it in the middle where it would never be used? Why don't I keep it on the list for another child down the road? On the other side of the coin, why would I want to use a first name that I didn't love that much in the middle just to fill up some space?

It seems to me that the middle name is a perfect place for something meaningful. It's hard for me to see the point in putting a "pretty" name in the middle when the best thing it has going for it is that it sounds good with the first name. I understand why people might want to do this and why they might not have any better reason to do anything else, but personally, it would bother me using a middle name that didn't have a special meaning. It really baffles me when people have lists of first names and they want to combine them into first-and-middle-name sets. For me, everything on my list is a first-name possibility.

And with first names, by the way, the sound of the name and the "pretty" factor are very important since this is the name that will be used primarily for the child's entire life.

So, here are the questions:

Are there others of you out there who have your mothers' maiden names as your middle names? How does this affect your naming choices for your children?

How many of you are considering using a maiden name or another family LAST name as a middle name?

How many of you are considering using a family or otherwise meaningful FIRST name as a middle name?

How many of you are considering a "pretty" first name that sounds great but doesn't have any additional meaning to you for the middle name?

I realize the line between "meaningful" and "not meaningful" is difficult to draw, and I realize it doesn't just have to do with family history (the name might be after an author you love, for example). What I am really getting at is how your process for choosing the middle name fits in with the process for the first name. Is the middle name choice like a sub-choice of the first name, or is it something entirely different? How will you choose?

Comments

[sarahrose.livejournal.com]

I love your philosophy on middle names and agree! For me, middle name is directly related to first name, but like you said - I don't want to "use up" a name I really like there.


Are there others of you out there who have your mothers' maiden names as your middle names? How does this affect your naming choices for your children? I don't. My mother's maiden name is Szaban (zjah-bon in Polish, zay-bin in English) and I think that would be a bit odd. I kinda wish I did though.

How many of you are considering using a maiden name or another family LAST name as a middle name? I am, it's in there. My last name isn't too bad - Carnes, rhymes with barns - for a middle name. That's probably the only good candidate for one from our family.

How many of you are considering using a family or otherwise meaningful FIRST name as a middle name? I've considered a couple. Probably won't though? Not sure.

How many of you are considering a "pretty" first name that sounds great but doesn't have any additional meaning to you for the middle name? I probably wouldn't "waste" a name like that. Not sure.

[tryyingtoevolve.livejournal.com]

My kids will have my last name, so I won't give them mine as a middle, because that would be . . . weird. They might get my partner's last name as a middle, though. Or it'll be hyphenated. One or the other.

I do plan to use family/friend/otherwise meaningful first names as middle names. Michael, Adrienne, Dena, Barbara, Peter, etc. The only one that's a last name is Carver, but it's not a family name, it's after Raymond Carver.

I wouldn't want to waste a name I really like as a middle name. The only exception is Michael, which is my FAVORITE. Unfortunately, it's also my brother's name, and while I totally want to use it as a middle name after him, I want my kid to have his own identity and have his own first name (even though he'll technically also be named after his uncle. If that makes sense.)

[jerseygrits.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I didn't really want to open that whole can of worms in this post, and I realize the question itself alienates some people. I'm not even 100% sure I'm going to change my own last name when I get married. But it still is what a large percentage of people do, so the question is valid.

[jerseygrits.livejournal.com]

I see your point. I realize I'll never be able to use all of the names on my list either. I'd just hate to put a name I loved in the middle of another name and then end up kicking myself when I wanted to use it later. I'd have to choose very carefully. :)

[anapology.livejournal.com]

My friend is called Frances, she's the youngest of four and Frances is a family name from both maternal and paernal side...both Frances' & Francis'.

Her parents gave it to their eldest daughter as a middle name, so she's kind of baffled as they clearly couldn't come up with anything better.
If they had really wanted to use it because they liked it then wouldnt they have used it as a first name in the first place.. and they'd already used it as a midde name so couldnt they have come up with something a bit more sepcial for her as a first name?

I have names I absolutely adore but are a bit over the top for a first name, so the middle seems like a good place.

ie..Ophelia, Anastasia, Persephone, Athena/Milo, Cosmo, Silas.

[tokyo.livejournal.com]

Meh. My SO's middle name is Dahm, which is his mom's maiden name (pronounced exactly as it looks, dah-m), and my last name is Noe. I think it would be cool to incorporate my last name into a middle name for one of my children (Noah, Noel, Noelle, etc.), but I'm not going to go out of my way to use it. I don't like his middle name, and I don't think I'll be using it.

My mom hyphenated her name when she got married, so I might try to use her maiden name in the same way (Oliver; either Oliver, Olivia, Olive, etc.) There are no more men to carry on the lineage of Olivers, so I think it would be nice to preserve it.

[jerseygrits.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the lineage thing is very important to me too, and I'm in a similar situation, so that's one reason why I am inclined to incorporate my last name somehow.

[anapology.livejournal.com]

Two of my favourite names are Nova & Olivier.

Nice choices :-)

[taraemily.livejournal.com]

I named my son Asher Riley. We adored Asher and picked Riley because it was a name we both liked, but not enough to use as a first name, and we liked how it all flowed with his surname (Canning). We considered using a middle name with more meaning, but didn't want to hurt anyone from either of our sides of our family. I have no ties to my surname, I honestly can't wait to be rid of it so I couldn't imagine giving it to my child as a middle name.

[lindo-711.livejournal.com]

Although we won't be using my maiden name for middle names, we do plan to use family names or meaningful names for our children:
Marshall (my husband's grandfather)
Atticus (To Kill a Mockingbird is one of our favorite novels and we want our son to have Atticus' wisdom)
Marjorie (my husband's grandmother and the name of a religious leader I admire)
Alma (we both speak Spanish and alma means 'soul')

[dustkitty.livejournal.com]

I hate my maiden name with a passion (I love and am proud of my family, but the name just sounds ugly) and couldn't wait to be rid of it, so I don't think I'll be passing it down. I might consider passing my mom's maiden name down if we have a girl, but it sounds like a woman's first name, so I won't pass it down to a boy. So, if we choose a meaningful middle name, it will probably be a first name.

We've got both meaningful and non-meaningful names on our list, and no set-in-stone combinations. We could end up with two family names or two "fluffy" names; we'll decide when the baby's born. We could also end up with a meaningful first name and a fluffy middle name, but we're more likely to use a just-because-we-like-it name for day-to-day use, even if we stick it in the middle slot instead of the first; order will depend more on how the full name flows. (For instance, Hubby is John Michael, and goes by Mike.)

Of course, almost all the names on our list have nice name meanings, so it could be argued that they're all somewhat meaningful. But I know what you mean--by "meaningful", I mean family names, or names of favorite characters or historical figures.

[kitchen-poet.livejournal.com]

As for last names, my mom kept her own and I got my dads. I am an only child and when my fiance and I get married next spring we will each be taking each other's name, like a hyphenated name without the hyphen. Plus, I am close to my family so I like that we will still share the name. :) The order is: Mr. and Mrs. Mylastname Hislastname. Our children will be given this name as well.
My mom gave me her first name as a middle and I always liked that we shared the same name growing up, so I would love to pass that tradition on to my daughters! For children's names I plan on using mostly family names and giving first names after my grandparents or great grandparents. Of course I want to give any kids we have my parents names, but if they are still alive we would use them as middle names. Most Jewish families name children after family that have passed (or use the same letter) but there seems to be a taboo against giving a baby a first name of someone who is still living. (And I think it would be a bit confusing!)

I consider my parents and grandparents names very "meaningful" but I was also blessed in that they had great names. For names of family that we absolutely can't stand, we are using the first letter or other fact---like the town my grandfather was born in as opposed to his first name because I like Cary better than Irvin. :) We are using mostly family names (as first and middle) but would consider using a name that wasn't family that we both really liked if it was meaningful to us. The best example I can think of is the name June, which we both like, and it is the month we are getting married in. Not exactly "family" but still meaningful to us. :)

Mothers' Maiden Names

[crossingthesea.livejournal.com]

I asked My Loved One if he wanted to incorporate his mother's maiden name into our baby's name and he wasn't interested. It was important for me to consider because his father's and mother's last names have very different ethnic/cultural/geographic origins and she has been the central figure in his life since his father died young. He wasn't interested at all.

My last name (meaning my father's last name) and his father's last name both have Germanic/English origins, which will not represent the baby's appearance at all, so that didn't seem right. Also, why carry one father's name and not the other? The mothers' are more important to me as both our parents' were single parents.

Anyway, these are definitely issues that are on my mind and I appreciate your post and your thinking.

Be well.

[slang-jockey.livejournal.com]

I like your questions and your standpoint on middle names. My parents gave me and my siblings our grandparents first names as middle names ((except for my sister, she got our paternal grandmother's middle name))-- there are four of us, two boys and two girls, so it worked out. I'd like to do the same thing with my children, I suppose, because I love my parents and I think they'd appreciate it. I think that qualifies me for the 'meaningful first name for middle name' category. ^ ^

I might consider a 'pretty' first name for the middle name, but probably only if I was able to use my parents names in some other way-- as the first, or something like that.

As far as the process of choosing goes, sometimes I have trouble, because the middle names are set, at the moment ((that may change, I don't even have a SO right now, and kids are so in the /distant/ future)), so I have to find first names I like that sound good with the meaningful middle names I want to use. Of course, I wouldn't just disregard a first name because I didn't like the way it sounded with the middle name; first names are too important for that and there's always some way to work in the middle name if you really want to.

[amspeck-myworld.livejournal.com]

Are there others of you out there who have your mothers' maiden names as your middle names? How does this affect your naming choices for your children? My elder brother has my mother's maiden name as his second middle name. The tradition of using a 'family' name in the second middle name slot is something I've carried down to my own children.

How many of you are considering using a maiden name or another family LAST name as a middle name? Not my maiden name (that's a long story), but my mother's maiden name has been considered but as I have tons of cousins passing it down, I'd rather pass down my grandparent's names. I've also considered my husband's step-father's last name have been considered, but it's low on the list as I'd rather use another one os his name. (I would consider my MIL's maiden name, but it's Wood and her mother's is Mutton - neither work ;)

How many of you are considering using a family or otherwise meaningful FIRST name as a middle name? I've considered using my husband's step father's last name, Parker, as a first name, but I prefer Nelson as a middle name.

How many of you are considering a "pretty" first name that sounds great but doesn't have any additional meaning to you for the middle name?
I try to pair the first name with their first middle name, which is their hebrew name - which to me is the priority. I try to make the first name a namesake after someone myself and my husband admire outside of the family, but not all of the names on our top name list have those.

Is the middle name choice like a sub-choice of the first name, or is it something entirely different? How will you choose?
For us, it is entirely different - it's the hebrew name in the first slot and a family name in the second slot and has the deepest meaning compared to the first name - with the first name it is also important to us to have a namesake/good meaning, but mostly it needs to be a name we both like that fits where we are in. If my kids choose to go by their hebrew names in the future (as I have done) I will be proud, but it can be hard to have an awkward 'ethnic' name which few can pronounce and gives an automatic impression of who that person is - for myself, Diana gave an almost blank slate (even with the mythology and royal connections), where as Elisheva automatically gives people an impression, and not everyone wants that.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

Are there others of you out there who have your mothers' maiden names as your middle names? How does this affect your naming choices for your children?
I do not have my mom's maiden name as my middle name. I have two middle names. One of them is after my Great Grandfather and one was to make me have the same initials as my Grandfather (he also had two middle names).

How many of you are considering using a maiden name or another family LAST name as a middle name?
I would not use my last name or my mother's last name as a middle name. However, I wouldn't be opposed to honouring family members that have passed by using their first name as a middle name.

How many of you are considering using a family or otherwise meaningful FIRST name as a middle name?
Most of these have already been taken, as it is a tradition in my husband's family (Jewish) to do this. However if, God Forbid, someone passed before I had a child I would strongly consider using their first name as a middle name.

How many of you are considering a "pretty" first name that sounds great but doesn't have any additional meaning to you for the middle name?
Most of the first/middle combos we have right now are just names we think go well together and sound nice.

[biancasablancas.livejournal.com]

My mum's maiden name is Mezentseff, so I definitely wont be using that! Similarly, I don't particularly like my last name and will only end up bestowing on my kid if my future husband has a really bad last name. Or I get knocked up and end up a teen single mum :P Pretty doubtful.

The only "family" name I'll end up using will probably be Emily, as there's kind of a tradition that one child in every family will have Emily as a middle name.

Middle names are not at all as important as first names, but I don't like the idea of just using a pretty filler name like Grace or Rose - I have to have something that I genuinely like.

[spikes-sexkitty.livejournal.com]

Are there others of you out there who have your mothers' maiden names as your middle names? How does this affect your naming choices for your children?
Well, i don't have a middle name at all. but i know that IF i'd been born a boy, my dad wanted my middle name to be HIS mom's maiden name - Tarr.

How many of you are considering using a maiden name or another family LAST name as a middle name?
Not me. the last names are just too... Ok, take into account my kids will have my fiancee's last name (all but one), he hate's his mom so her maiden names out. MY mom's name or HER mom's name are foriegn w/ accents and rolling r's ('ahn-DRRAH-theh' & 'ah-la-MEE-ah'). MY last name is long and german. it just makes the names too complicated IMO

How many of you are considering using a family or otherwise meaningful FIRST name as a middle name?
actually we're not planning on naming our kids 'after' anyone. i think two or three of the names i like, are first or middle names of family members, but it's because they're biblical and my abuela is hardcore Catholic... so she named all her kids religious names. and i plan on all MY kids having one of their names be biblical/religious related.

How many of you are considering a "pretty" first name that sounds great but doesn't have any additional meaning to you for the middle name?
well, the names i like are 'pretty' to me, but they have meaning. they're from my heritage and culture and faith. can't get anymore personal than that lol.

Is the middle name choice like a sub-choice of the first name, or is it something entirely different?
How will you choose?
in the naming pattern i have no name is sub-choice. i had two lists of names i adored, and i combined based on length, flow, and the application/shouting tests. One name must be biblical or relgious affiliated, and the other from our culture/heritage. if the first name is James, then the middle name may be Rónán. or if the first name is Éamonn, then the middle name may be Matthias.

[zorianna.livejournal.com]

I LOVED my maiden name, but it would definitely not sound right as a middle name on a child (Giovingo), so I won't use it. My mom did give me her middle name as my middle name also, so even though Marie isn't that outstanding of a middle name, I'd like to use it on my first little girl as well. As far as "meaningful" family names, I'd like to somehow name a son of mine after my dad since he only had girls, so I'll probably use Paul as a middle name (and my dad was a jr, so it would also be an honor to my grandpa). I also like Weldon and Henry from my grandfathers, Kate after my sister Katie, and Therese after my aunt, but all would likely end up as middle names. I like using middle names to honor others, but it's not a necessity. I think that if there's two names you like that sound well together, it can make a perfect first and middle combination.

And also, my mother's maiden name is McCabe, so I don't know if I'd use that for a middle name, but possibly some kind of variant.

[sageharper.livejournal.com]

For all my feminist thinking I'm glad my mother didn't keep or pass on her maiden name; because obviously it's come from my maternal grandfather, and he [and his family] totally doesn't deserve to be honoured.

For my own children I intend for my last name to be either their second middle name or as a hypenated last name; for various reason I'm keeping it myself so it makes sense.

I've not given much thought to using family surnames to honour people; it just doesn't seem as personal, or the names don't work so well in that capacity. But I might, depends what my SO brings to the table.

All my middle names on my list are to honour people or have meaning in some capacity. They're just in that slot because either I can't see myself using them every day [too common/nms/whatever]. Or to prevent confusion as they're already someone's first name. My son will have enough issues without going through life as 'little Richard' (my brother is very tall).

[decembermama.livejournal.com]

I'm using my boyfriends middle name which I believe was his Moms middle name who passed away which is Riley.

[seksimaggie.livejournal.com]

I agree with your logic on why middle names shouldn't just be pretty, and I've always thought it was the perfect place for me to honor people in my family, which is why all of the names I plan to use are first names that I really like, and a middle name that's a family name. I would also like to give one of my kids my maiden name as their middle name, but it's not at the top of the list for most important names to pass on, so it'll depend on how many kids I actually have, haha.

[laminy.livejournal.com]

One of my best friends has her mother's maiden name as her first name, not her middle. I don't think that I would ever use my last name (it will be maiden if I ever get married), since it's just not really a name to me. It's a last name. My mother's maiden name isn't really a name either either.

There is one name that I really like, Ruby, that I think is just pretty, but it's also the name of my late great aunt. My mom thinks highly of her, so it's meaningful in the family, but not really to me, since I never knew her.

I think that most names that I like really are just pretty names, and don't have a particularly meaning to me. Maybe that's a bad thing, I don't know. But there aren't a lot of names that hold that type of meaning for me; not right now anyway.

I think that the middle-name should sound at least decent with the first name, but they can be completely different, they don't have to be connected.

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

I hate my last name, so I won't give it to a kid as a middle name. I am planning to use the name Joseph as a middle name to honour my father and grandfathers, and hopefully Ruth as a middle name to honour my mum and my grandma.

[bobinwales.livejournal.com]

I like your idea, but I just don't like any of my family's last names.
Mum's maiden name was Timbrell, and my surname I found out the other day, isn't dad's actual surname because he was adopted by his mums second husband so he'd have the same last name as his brothers... if that makes sence!

So I might go for family first names, although there aren't many of those I like either really!

So pretty names for me :D:D

[ghetto-lonetto.livejournal.com]

I have my mom's maiden name as my middle name, although she didn't change her last name when she married my dad, so I guess I really just have her last name as my middle name, and my dad's last name as my last name. Both of these names are long and of distinct ethnicity (mom's name is German, dad's is Italian). At this point in my life, I'm quite used to and comfortable with both; in fact, I love my name, all billion syllables of it. But I have to admit that as a kid, having a middle name I couldn't really spell was something of a drawback. Other kids would see my initials and try and guess my middle name ("Brianna? Bethany? Beatrice?") which kinda got old after a while. Telling people my middle name also got old after while, since it was inevitable followed by teasing and hopeless mispronunciation. (On the plus side though, my weird German middle name had a wicked cool meaning, so it wasn't all bad.)

Now, like I said, I love my name, and I feel lucky to be so directly connected to both sides of my family, but at the same time, I'm not sure I want my kid to be the only one without a pretty middle name, like I was. At the same time, I think my last name is a lot cooler (and easier to pronounce) than my middle name, so maybe I could see passing that on.

[arbus.livejournal.com]

i agree with what you said here, and my thoughts are the same. i cant wrap my head around the people who say things like "i cant come up with a middle name that sounds pretty with it"

my first daughter will have the middle name colleen, after my mother who passed away four years ago (that was her first name).

my first son will have gray as his middle name, which was my mothers maiden name.

after the first two, from there, i have a list of names like edward (my paternal grandfather), shepard (my paternal grandmothers maiden name), owen (my fathers and my brothers middle name).