Another thought

[girlsteve.livejournal.com]

Yet another thought that occurred to me as a result of a previous post. I was thinking of the girl who was called Starzia because her parents adopted her when she was slightly older and let her choose her own name. I think it's kinda cool that they let her do that, because it is nice that she had some ownership of it if that makes sense.

That said, I think this story proves that there are some issues with letting a little kid pick their own name - she could have ended up called Twinkle, and I'm not sure she'd have been quite so keen on it at 14 :) I was also thinking of a Chinese girl who posted a while back, and said that when she moved to America her parents let her choose her own western name - if I remember right, she choose Stephanie but ended up hating it. The potential problem with letting a kid pick thier own name is that they won't be the same person at 21 as they were at 5, and the reasons they have for picking something might seem really good at the time but not so good later in life. Being called Rose forever just because you were a Doctor Who fan at 4 might not make you like it ten years later, especially if it really doesn't suit you.

On the other hand, there is no guarenteeing that any name will suit a child, or that they'll like it later, just cos their parents picked it out for them.

Does make me think though, if i were in the same position (and I'm quite likely to adopt) that I would give any child that was old enough a list of names I liked and explain to them why I liked them, so that they could choose one and be a part of the process.

WDYT?

Comments

[sweatydog.livejournal.com]

I wish I got to chose my name. I still like the name I wanted to have at age 5 (I'm 19 now).

I mean Samantha > Britni

I still say kids are soo much more intelligent than they are given credit. If you give them a list of real names or just ask them what they want they'll pick something better than "Princess Sparklepus". ( Like I would have been Samantha, Nancy or Amanda)

[arbus.livejournal.com]

i agree with everything you said here, and i really like your idea of when adopting, helping the child choose his/her name along with you. itll be just another bonding experience, really, if you think about it.

(i am likely to adopt, as well)

[memorymaze.livejournal.com]

My mom let me name our dog from a list of names when I was 5 so I wouldn't pick something ridiculous. The only names I remember being on the list were Jesse (Full House) and Casey (Mr. Dressup). I picked Casey. Mr. Dressup > The world.

[thejoysofjess.livejournal.com]

I don't like the idea of letting MY kids pick out their own name simply because I intend to have them from infancy on. It would be confusing to everyone involved for a kid to suddenly have a new name at the age of five or so.

Immigrating children are a different story. I think, for the most part, they should probably keep their regular names, but I realize that some immigrant parents would like very much for their children to assimilate into American culture, at least a little. (Not ALL, just SOME). And some foreign names are just not the best to have in America. I know a little boy named Ku Koo and all I can think of is that he is going to need to pick an american name. I went to school with a boy whose Chinese name was pronounced like "Sue" so he went by Hank and felt better.

You're right that there's no way to guarantee a child will like a name. If they don't like it, there are always nicknames and middle names. Or just plain old sucking it up. ;)

[bluedano.livejournal.com]

When I was four and my mom was pregnant with my sister I spent weeks trying to convince my parents that Elijah Bigbird was the perfect name for the new baby.

Imagine if I'd been allowed to name myself. :P

[thejoysofjess.livejournal.com]

At least you made Bigbird the middle name.

[cathubodva.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's awesome.

[aimeewins.livejournal.com]

I had a friend who got to choose her own Western name... she chose Star.
But she told us her parents gave her a baby name book and made her pick a name out of it, so she wouldn't name herself something like Lollipop [her word].

[searlait.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm weird, but I wouldn't change a child's name if I adopted them and they were older than two.

[crzydimond.livejournal.com]

I think that if the child I was adopting already had a name, I'd probably keep that one.

It would be confusing enough to be with a new family, and their old name would tie them with their previous parents you know? It just seems like it would cut a big chunk of important history out of their lives.

[cathubodva.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, if the child is old enough (say, 10+), he or she might want to cut out that huge chunk.

My husband's brother, who waas brought into the family at the age of 15 (not legally adopted, just legal guardianship), is planning on changing his name when he gets married because he does not want to be associated with his father, whose name he shares - he's waiting till he gets married because you get the free name change then and all, and he's a bit too poor to pay for it now. :D