(no subject)

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

Ok, this has nothing to do with baby names, but I'm starting to get very frustrated with my baby's father.
Adelynn is going to be here in 4 weeks, and he still has not told his parents that i am pregnant.
I want to send them to the baby album link from the hospital that I'm going to have her in when she's born, but i'm still not sure.
I dont want to disrespect him, but in the same sense, he STILL hasn't told them.

WDYT? what should i do?

Comments

[lustdumpster.livejournal.com]

is there a reason he hasn't told them?

idk that seems really weird to me that he hasn't told them and it's been what, eight months? how often do they talk? are they on bad terms?

i wouldn't go against him if it's anything like that, but at the same time, they should know they're going to be grandparents before the fact.

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

NO! they talk everyday! The problem is, I'm in washington while HE'S in california. And they email me every so often to see how my schooling is going and everything, i just CANT tell them the progress of my pregnancy b/c their son hasn't told them yet. his excuse is "They'll be mad". My parents were mad for a good 3 hours and then they got over it! I want them to know that they have a grandbaby on the way. They're really sweet and caring people.

[lustdumpster.livejournal.com]

how old are the two of you?

honestly, they're going to find out about the baby once she's born. they'll be far angrier at him for keeping such a huge thing a secret than they would be at the fact itself, i'd assume.

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

exactly! I told him he's just digging a deeper hold for himself. He's 19 and I'm 20. We're both out on our own, but living in two different states.

[lustdumpster.livejournal.com]

eh, that's still relatively young then. i'm nineteen now and i can't imagine telling my parents i'm going to have a kid. but at the same time, it's something that needs to be done. i think an ultimatum is in order, truly.

would he be more comfortable telling them WITH you rather than alone, maybe?

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

I tried that when i was down in california in november. I told him we could meet them for lunch and BOTH tell them, but he didnt go for it. and that was when i was 6 months pregnant.

[dustkitty.livejournal.com]

No kidding. "Look, here's a grandchild!" is better than "You're going to be grandparents!" ??

I think I would give him another week (and tell him so) before I called and told them myself (phone is better than internet, probably). In fact, it's probably easier at this point for you to tell them and explain that their son just didn't know how to tell them but the time has come, etc.

[smasharash.livejournal.com]

I think you need to tell him that if he doesn't tell them, you will. How long can he hide his own child from his own parents?? It's pretty absurd.

[kristinwitha-k.livejournal.com]

Wow, what the hell! To your boyfriend, not to you. If they show concern for your wellbeing, and check up on you, they'll probably be pretty hurt this was kept from them for 8 months. I'd be more concerned about that than about their anger over the pregnancy in general. Is this their first grandchild? That will be double the problem. I say you need to be pretty serious about getting him to tell them, and it definitely needs to be now, before she's born. I usually hate ultimatums, but I think at this point you're going to have say tell them or I will. He's a father now, he needs to be able to deal with a lot more than just being worried his parents will be mad.

[tryyingtoevolve.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. I could understand (to an extent, although it would still be ridiculous) if you guys were like...15 or something. But I saw your birthdate on your profile and you (at least; I'm assuming your boyfriend is the same age or at least right around there, if not older) are the same age is me. An adult. He needs to start acting like one.

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

He is an adult. Living on his own, going to school, paying his bills, working... and everything. he just cant tell his parents?
And in his defense, he's not my boyfriend. But regardless, his parents still adore me because i saved his life when he was dying and they let me stay at there place when he was in the hospital.

[tryyingtoevolve.livejournal.com]

Even if he's not your boyfriend, he still took part in the creation of this child and needs to take responsibility for it. And that means telling his parents. If his parents have that much concern for you to check up on you and everything, and if they really like you that much, they'd probably really like to know about their grandchild. My advice would be to tell him that he needs to tell them (and set a deadline for it) and that if he doesn't, you will. And make sure he knows you're serious about it. It's probably better coming from him, but either way, they have a right to know, and I'm sure you'd like them to have some sort of a part of your child's life.

[memorymaze.livejournal.com]

If you don't mind me asking, how did you save his life?

And I think that they have a right to know that they have a grandchild. If he doesn't want to give them that right, then you should.

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

his spleen ruptured one night when he was drinking with his friends and he was bleeding internally for 10 hours before he decided to do anything about it. and i showed up to check up on his "hangover" and he was practically dying so i brought him to the ER and took care of him in the hospital until his parents could get there (it took them a few hours) and then i took care of him when he was recovering (before he went to stay with them).... it was all scary as hell bc they told us he would have died if he stayed home a few more hours.

[xpinkxamazingx.livejournal.com]

I am in a simliar situation.
My ex did not tell his mum till a month ago but still has not told his dad cause his dad is sick.
I would say to him if he cares about you and his baby then he would tell them otherwise it sounds like he is ashamed.

[aquilinum.livejournal.com]

Whoa. I'd imagine their reaction will only get worse the later they found out, just because of the lie-by-omission. As it is, this close to the birth, I'd imagine they'll be furious enough. But yeah, each day he (or you) waits... ouch.

[solagirl.livejournal.com]

The longer he waits the worse it will be. If he doesn't tell them over the weekend, call them first thing Monday and tell them yourself. You should have to, but it needs to be done. They should know before the baby is born, and if the baby comes early you are out of luck. They may be mad (or maybe not), but like you said they will get over it. Especially when they see their new grandchild. They will probably be more upset that they didn't know and couldn't be there for you during your pregnancy. The father is extremely immature and needs to grow up fast. He has done a huge disservice to you and his parents. I hope all is well with you and the baby!

Sidenote: Do you have any names picked out? :)

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

Her name is Adelynn Marie

[bullpugluv.livejournal.com]

what hasnt he told them?

[peytonlee.livejournal.com]

That I'm 36 weeks pregnant with his child?

[barelyshocking.livejournal.com]

Wow. I think in this situation, the best thing is to (like others have said) give him an ultimatum. Firstly, they are your child's grandparents! Regardless of how they first react, they're going to be thrilled to welcome a new grandchild into the world. Also, your child has a right to a warm, happy relationship with his/her grandparents.

I think that the father of your child is in a state of denial. Unfortunately for him, it isn't just his decision about whether or not to tell his parents. You're both responsible for this child (as I know you know), so he needs to act his age, be adult and accept his responsibility.

I really hope he bites the bullet and tells them so you don't have to. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I found out my father was too afraid to tell his parents about my impending birth.

[0o-faerie.livejournal.com]

Woah. I can't really tell you anything that has been said already, but I agree that he has to tell them, and if not, you have to tell them. They deserve to know.
Good luck with this, and I like the name you picked out =)!