(no subject)

[purple-lamb-lol.livejournal.com]

I was reading an article in Grazia about Jennifer Aniston's alleged adoption plans:
"...don't expect Jennifer to follow in the footsteps of Brad, 43, and Angelina, 32, who caused controversy when they changed the name of their three-year-old son from Pham to Pax after adopting him.
The friend said 'Jen can't see why any parent would change the name of a child of that age. To turn around and say,
"This is your new name" must be very confusing and bizarre."

Would you change the name of a child you adopted? What would be behind your decision?
Would it depend on age? Would it make a difference if the new name was similar to the old one?

I've also asked this in booju_newju but I was interested in the input of a community that's all about names, I hope that's ok.

Comments

[widgetchick.livejournal.com]

I know you're supposed to change the name of an animal when it switches homes if the first home was abusive or hostile. Maybe Brad and Angelina thought that this applied to humans as well?

Personally, if I were adopting a child over the age of 6 months, I'd keep it's name whatever it was. UNLESS there was severe neglect/abuse/whatever. Then I may actually change the name so any association to that life is gone.

[bohemianvegan.livejournal.com]

At age three most kids won't even remember their old names after a while. Yet I do think the kid should have a say in it. I think "Pax" is Latin for "peace". I don't really like the name.

[omfg----hxc.livejournal.com]

The only way I would change their name was if they were too young to have remembered their old name.

[bornto-fly.livejournal.com]

I don't think I would change their name unless they were either very young, or the name had some really negative connotations to it. Like, if I adopted a child that had grown up in an abusive home, and they were named after their abusive parent, or something like that. I might change their first name, but keep their old first name as their middle name, or something like that. But I really think that once a kid has a name, he or she should keep it.

That said, if I adopted an older child, who really wanted to change his or her name for some reason, I would let them. A friend of mine in high school got a new 14-year-old brother when his parents adopted their foster child our senior year. His brother changed his name, and it was hard for everyone else to get used to, but the name had such negative connotations for the kid and he hated it, and after he changed it and started going by something else (he chose Kevin), he started being a lot happier.

I guess it just depends on the situation.

[so-there.livejournal.com]

it would depend what the name was. if it were a foreign adoption, the kid might come over with a name that sounds an awful lot like some icky american word. though I'd probably give them a new first name and move their original name to a middle name.

if it were something normal*, I'd just leave it. like, a couple I know adopted a girl from guatemala. the girl's name was already christina, they changed it to sara. I'm not fond of christina, but it is a normal american name so I'd have probablyleft it.

*by normal I don't just mean american sounding, a nice-sounding foreign name I could leave be, too. but like I said in my first paragraph.. some names normal in another country would be met with bugged-out eyes here.

[xnaivetex.livejournal.com]

I think it's absolutely stupid when parents do that. Regardless, adoption does not make you the baby's owner, it still has had another life and another family who gave them that name for a reason. They are not cute widdle puppies that you can just call whatever you want, whatever sounds 'nice' with your family, and get rid of their 'icky foreign name' (which might have a lot of meaning to them or to their birth family or to their culture).
They are still their own people with their own backgrounds and their own names, and if someone can't get over that idea, they shouldn't be adopting.

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

I would change the name, but only if they were young enough so that they didn't know their own name yet, or if they were old enough to think about it, and wanted to change their name for some reason.

[godmod.livejournal.com]

Um, families who abandoned them in an orphanage?

I'm planning on adopting from China someday, and I will absolutely change their name, as do the thousands of other families who adopt internationally. I've known many little kids who were adopted from other countries and none seemed to be affected by the name change. I also know several adults who were adopted and I've asked if they regret their name being changed. Most say they don't even consider themselves Korean/Chinese/whatever and they are glad for their American names.

[febrile-lune.livejournal.com]

I think three is a bit too old. To me, it isn't so much a matter of whether or not the kid will remember it, but I respect the child at any age. And while age 3, the kid will realize it, even if for a bit. Plus, I think it would be likely that it would contribute to some repression and later in life the kid would feel a bit off/start to wonder. The first three years (seven, really, but the first three especially) are critical in brain development and networking and I feel like even if they couldn't coherently figure out what was different, it might seem weird to them in their development.

[febrile-lune.livejournal.com]

Although, I'd be willing to change the name if it had negative connotations, like others have said. If the baby was named by parents later deceased, I'd keep the name out of respect.

[xpaniic.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. I have a cousin that was adopted from Korea and his name is Matt. I don't know when he was adopted so I don't know if my aunt had adopted him before he was named or after. But I know Matt is not a Korean name. I'd probably change my kids name if they were adopted and it was a name that I couldn't pronounce. I have a sister that was adopted when she was 4, only her LAST name got changed [which I know isn't the same] but she got used to it after awhile.

[mystickiwi.livejournal.com]

What people don't point out with the Pham/Pax thing, is that Pax was given a common Viet....crap... A name that was very common in Vietnam by the people in charge of his orphanage. The way I understand it, it's like letting a stranger name your son "John"

Now, I plan on adopting in the distant future, and whether or not I change the child's name will be really dependent on a lot of things, such as age, what their birth name was, and if it was given to them by the birth parent. I also want to adopt abroad (specifically Brasil) and it would also depend on how well the name translated to English (is it hard to pronounce? does it have an English equivalent? etc.)