Nicknames

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

I've seen some of you express a dislike of certain nicknames, but what about nicknames in general? I guess I don't mind pet names for friends, okay..  call them nicknames (I dunno, we always said so and so went by 'X' "for short" and that seemed different than a nickname), but I've never been a huge fan of shortened names. So, for instance, my name is Meredith and in most cases people call me Meredith, but occasionally people will call me Mer; two of my good freinds in highschool were Valerie and Kathy (already shortened, lol) and I would call them Val and Kat. Anyway, I'm not talking about that kind of shortening (okay, you'd  think I could ask this question more easily!). My childhood neighbor/babysitter/second mother still calls me Merbie.
Anyway.. I guess I don't like it when people go by a nickname permanently. For instance, my husband's name is Albert Edward and he goes by Ted; his sister is Amanda and often goes by Mandy; his mother is Susan and goes by Susie; his father is Albert and goes by Al.

We would have named our first child, if she'd been a boy, David. I was adamant that it would not become 'Dave'. Okay, so we don't like that name as much as we used to and I now love the name Liam, however I don't like it that much as a given name. I also love the name Uilliam, so we're thinking going with Uilliam with the nickname Liam. Anyway, I'm trying to justify using it without opening the door for the family to try and give all the rest of our children nicknames. I also feel kinda dumb that I want to go against my own pet peeve of always using a nickname-- if you wanted that name why not just go with it in the first place? Another name we love is Jonah and I do not like 'Joe' or 'Joey'. Of course, I also like Antalya with the nickname 'Talya'.. perhaps my problem is I just don't like my husband's family's nicknames that much? :(

Anyway.. thoughts/opinions on the use of nicknames? Ever not use a name because you hate the nickname associated with it-- or would you just work hard to avoid it?

Comments

[crzydimond.livejournal.com]

I have a cousin named Madeline [Prn 'lyn' not 'line'] and my aunt and uncle were adamant that she would not become a 'Maddie' until at least kindergarten.
I think if you love a shortened version of a name so much, why not just use it in the fist place? I wouldn't choose a name based on it's potential nicknames.
Also - once your kid gets to school they are bound to pick up nicknames, it just seems to happen!

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

Yah, I guess I know they're bound to pick up nicknames, but I guess I'm talking about the difference between just occasionally shortening someone's name and them going by another name entirely all the time (like my in-laws).

Lol, I agree on what you say about just using the shortened version, I guess maybe I'm just torn between Uilliam and Liam and I can't use both.

[crzydimond.livejournal.com]

I think i get what you mean... I can't grasp why people would name their kid Catherine, for example, when they have the intention referring to it as John or something as equally unrelated.

But maybe that's just me...



As a term of endearment i think they are fine, especially if they are particularly special to a certain person [like you mentioned you call your best friends from highschool]

[adamant-turtle.livejournal.com]

I can't grasp why people would name their kid Catherine, for example, when they have the intention referring to it as John or something as equally unrelated.

Exactly! I've known people who had X for a first name, and Y for a middle name, and their parents called them Y from birth. If there is a certain family name or something that a person wants to stick in there, but not actually use, why not just make it the middle name? I don't get it.

I also knew a girl in college, named Kate. Her full, legal name was actually Kate, not Kathleen or Katherine. She said that her parents knew they would never call her Katherine, so they decided to just go ahead and officially name her by the name they really wanted, although it's technically just a nickname. Made sense to me, anyways.

[anapology.livejournal.com]

I like nicknames if they are affectionate.. like my best friend is Emma, I callher Em but she's still an Emma.
I wouldn't use a name if there was a massive chance it would be turned into a nickname I didn't like.. using your example I hate Dave too, and i'm pretty certain as soon as young David hits teenage years he'd have become a Dave.
I love Anastasia but HATE Stacey.. so that's out.

[ex-bluebonn.livejournal.com]

I had never heard os Stacey as a nickname for Anastasia until I started reading the Baby-Sitter's Club! What about Ana as a nickname?

[bornto-fly.livejournal.com]

I don't think Joe or Joey are as obvious for Jonah, and I think if you don't even mention the nicknames, nobody will call them that. Or maybe tell them from the very beginning, "we are going to call him Jonah."

I love Liam, by the way. What about using it as a nickname for William?

[bornto-fly.livejournal.com]

PS - on the subject of nicknames in general, I tend to like them. There are a few names that I don't like nicknames for (Michael, Christopher, Anthony), but there are a ton of names that I like the nicknames BETTER than the actual names. So I'm pro-nickname.

However, I understand that people don't feel that way, and I don't think it's weird or snobby or anything else to go by a given name instead of a nickname, but sometimes the kid is going to want a nickname whether you want him to or not. So you could name your kid David and call him that all his life, but when he gets into high school and says "call me Dave," and everyone else does, there's not much you can do about it.

I'm just saying, after the age of 7 or 8, there's very little you can do about if the kid wants to use a nickname and you don't, you know?

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

If my child wants it, that's one thing, I just don't want the family to push it on them, ya know? I guess I'm confused about what I actually like, too, lol-- I think occasionally using a nickname is one thing.. that's actually a nickname, but it just irks me when people, like my in-laws for instance, don't ever go by their actual name. I know my husband is a III, so they nicknamed him for a reason, better than A.J. at least.

I guess I just don't want to name my child anything that practically needs a nickname, like my husband's name, or one with an obvious common nickname.

Perhaps I'll just use Uilliam and occasionally use Liam as a nickname. William presents the same problem as Uilliam. However, I really do not like the name William and it's also my husband's uncle's name.. he goes by Willie, another name I don't like. I also hate the name Lee... why do I like Liam so much? lol.

Nice icon.

[jordle.livejournal.com]

I think some people are just going to shorten people's names. I always introduce myself to people as my full name but there are a always a group of people who take it upon themselves to shorten it anyway.

I think if you really hate a nickname for a name then I'd bypass the name altogether because I'm not sure you can entirely stop people from shortening it.

(This is coming from a girl who wants to name her daughter Abigail bit doesn't want her to be called Abby!)

[bugamok.livejournal.com]

Oh yes you can stop people. :) I'm an Amanda, not a Mandy, *never* a Mandy. My mother enforced that when I was a small child, and then I chose to continue to enforce it. I've known a Rebecca who did the same thing; she was *always* Rebecca, no shortenings at all unless it was an occassionnal affectionate "Becca" from close friends.

I find it really disrespectful when people don't call someone by the name that person introduces themself as.

[eleanorgrace.livejournal.com]

It's different when you choose not to use a nickname versus a parent chooses not to use a nickname for your name. So in your case, you and your parents agreed, which is great and no problem at all. In other instances, like the example of a David choosing to go by Dave in high school, that is just too bad for the parent who hates the nickname Dave.

I knew a guy named Edward whose mom HATED the nicknames Ed and Eddie, and refused to ever use them, to the point that when his friends from school called and asked for "Ed," she'd snarkily say there was no one living there named "Ed." I mean, that's just stupid. Seriously.

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

I don't mind getting 'Mer' or 'Merbie' but I have a friend who would refer to me as Mer to her other friends-- mostly her work friend and family-- so when they mer me they called me Mer; I don't think they knew my name was Meredith and them calling me by an intimate nickname drove me up a wall.

I don't like the nickname Mandy-- I always was careful call my SIL Amanda because I don't like Mandy (Don't really care for 'Amanda' in general, tho sorry), but lately have been calling her Manda.. more of a term of endearment I guess.

[ber-waves-of.livejournal.com]

I don't like shortened names or nicknames, in most cases. There are a few exceptions to this, but for the most part I think people should go by their given name. If you want your kids to go by the shorter version, just name them that in the first place.

My husband's family is really into shortening names. Perhaps this is due to the fact that they are Mexican, and most of the names in his family are pretty long to begin with. For example, his sister named her kids Angelita, Alejandra, and Antonio. Everyone calls them Angel, Ally, and Tonio. When we told my mother-in-law what we are naming our son, she said, "I'll have to start thinking of a nickname to call him." I was like, "Umm...how bout calling him by his NAME?"

[sandtree.livejournal.com]

Well, people used to call me Ali all the time (my family still does) which I don't mind at all, but I hate it when people call me Al. So I think that if someone hates a particular nickname, you shouldn't call them by it.

Also, you shouldn't name a kid something and then expect people to not call them by a nickname, because that's something completely out of your control. It's part of the reason why, even though I love the name Michael, I would never name a son Michael, because I know people would call him Mike.

I had a friend whose parents named her Carissa because they wanted people to call her Carrie. Needless to say, no one ever did. You can't control what people call your kids, so either make sure you're okay with all the nicknames that could come out of a name, or pick something else.

[christhiane.livejournal.com]

I don't like nicknames, either, but I go by one on the net because my name is hard to spell correctly.

[kiwinerd536.livejournal.com]

ha my mother named us specifically so that we would NOT have names that were able to be shortened.

except for my brother, who's name is made up of initials (J.D.- that's always been his name, but apparently, the doctors wouldn't let her just name him that, so she made up some other names for it to stand for. he recently got it changed so that that is his legal name)

but i think nicknames don't do the full service of a first name, and if you're just going to call a kid but a shortened name anyway, why bother giving them a really long one to try to learn to spell?

just my opinion....

[erian.livejournal.com]

I am not a fan of nicknames.

If you don't want to open the door to the family coming up with nicknames for your other children I wouldn't use one for another one, because it will make them think it's okay. That being said, if you do not want your children to be called by nickanmes simple say, "no her/his name is _____", that's what my parents did when I was younger. My name is Jennifer, I HATE being called Jenny, I can tolerate Jen(n), but only from people I am close to, random people or people I know slightly are NOT allowed to call me anything but Jennifer. I would just be prepared for said child to decide later in life they want to go by a nickname. My brother's name is Richard, he goes by Rich, My husband;s name is Steven (so is his father's *sigh*), and his familly called him Stevie, he now goes by Steve or Steven, his family still has a problem calling him either of those.

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

We have the same problem with my husband's family. He will never be an Albert (Albert Edward III, goes by Ted), but his mother's family still calls him Teddy. I was unaware of this until his sisters wedding a few weeks ago where they were all calling him Teddy. He was even announced by the MC as Teddy. :/
According to him his cousin, who was calling him Teddy the most and addressed his invite to her wedding with 'Teddy', hates to be called her childhood nickname of B-Beth(Elizabeth). I'm tempted to call her that at her wedding in August.

We will probably tell people not to call our children names we don't like, I just wonder if the family will think we're being pissy about it.

[krosp.livejournal.com]

Joseph was my favourite name for ages, but Joe reminds me of a tradesman showing his bum crack because his pants hang too low. I tried to like Joe, but even once I get past the bum crack, it's still "Joe Bloggs", "any old Joe" - way too average and generic sounding

So now I probably wouldn't use Joseph.

I also love David but can't use it cos I already have relatives wiht that name, but over here it wouldn't inevitably become Dave... well if I had a son called David I would never call him Dave myself but I suppose it wouldn't bug me if some people did when he was old enough to decide for himself... unlike Joe which would make me sad if he ended up going by it.

[yukonsally]

I don't like nicknames. At all.

My cousin Dave went by David until high school, his brother Phil went by Phillip. About the same time, they both shortened their names. I still have trouble calling them anything but David and Phillip.

[mystickiwi.livejournal.com]

I love the nicknames, I was always jealous of people who had name based nicknames as a kid. That said, I'm not obsessed with them, and don't really care whether or not people have them, I plan on giving my kids nick names, if they have nick names that I like, and don't really get naming your kids something thats all ready a nickname. I don't think that made sense... but like, I love the name Gwen, and I love the name Gwendolyn, so if I have a daughter and name her Gwendolyn, she'll most likely be Gwen most of the time.

As for not liking names because of nicknames? Well, my #1 name is Victoria, and I absolutely HATE the name Vicky. I love the nickname Tori, and I'd probably use Victoria/Tori interchangeably, but no one will call my daughter Vicky! Although once she gets to school, there won't be much I can do.

And in response to some comments I've seen: I've never met anybody, at least not in a professional school life have any problems with nick names. Roll gets called, the teacher asks, and then whatever you go by just sorta sticks in the class. In 6th grade there was a boy named Benjamin, and when asked if he went by Ben he said no and didn't have any problems

[eleanorgrace.livejournal.com]

I think that naming your kid a full name that can be shortened to a nickname is preferable to naming your kid that nickname overall. Maybe you know you'll always call her Gabbi, but when she's 55 and registering for the AARP, that just looks silly. Maybe you'll always call him Nic, but when he's taking the Bar exam it looks a little unprofessional.

Names that don't take nicknames are obviously great, too, but naming a kid a nickname instead of its original form seems limiting.

I've said this before (just a couple of days ago, actually), but I think there's something really nice about having different names you can go by to differentiate between how close you are to people. Professional, academic, and casual acquaintances call me Eleanor; childhood friends and family call me Ellie; close friends who spend hours a day with me call me El; an ex-boyfriend who wants to signal how close we are calls me E (which I find silly, but what can you do?). It's nice for me to introduce myself as Eleanor and let endearments and nicknames come about naturally, as the relationship changes. I cringe when someone I don't know calls me Ellie--it sounds so presumptuous and awkward.

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

You make a good point of having a name that can be shortened for certain people. I'm fine with that, I guess it's just the permanent use of a shortened name that could be a name on it's own that irritates me.

To me Liam and Uilliam are both good names and Liam could be used on it's own.

I mentioned in another comment that I hate when a stranger calls me Mer. One of my close friends would refer to me as Mer to her extended family and coworkers/work friends so when I finally met these people, they would call me Mer-- drove me crazy, still does when people call me Mer. Only a select few people call me Merbie-- no one I've known since the age of 10 calls me that, but my husband has taken to calling me Merbie and Merbuff since he met my old neighbors who used to call me that a few weeks ago-- I think it's sweet.

[sarahrose.livejournal.com]

I'm not really against nicknaming. I think in the cases you stated - Albert = Al, Susan = Susie - it's more of just a simplification. How people give their kids more "professional" names to work with if they want but call them something more casual and fun. I like that idea. One of my best friends is Elizabeth - that's for formalities. To us, she's Lizzie. Her sister is Jennifer and goes by Jen.

I think it depends on the person being nicknamed. I think it's great if they pick the name themselves or it's from some brilliant, sentimental story or inside joke or if it's from one of their names and just kind of happened. My last name is Carnes, and many people have picked up on calling me Carnzie over the last few years. Someone said it to me once, and I loved it immediately. I've been trying to muster up the nerve to introduce myself to people as it.

Jen's friend Casey goes by Wolfgang. ... That, I don't know. I guess I'm being a hypocrite, but that irritates me, lol.

But all in all, I actually like the idea of giving a longer name that can be shortened to something if the kid wants. A Michael could stay a Michael or become a Mike. A Christopher could become a Chris or stay a Christopher. I think it depends on the person, but I'd like to give the option of having something sprout off of the name itself.

[searlait.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend's a Jonah and he reports that he has never been called a nickname other than Slap-Head or any other cutesy relationship names I've come up with (Bear, Baby, Binky). His name is so short, I think, that nicknames come up as being just as long as his name.