(no subject)

[jonandjennsbaby.livejournal.com]

I'm having a debate with myself. My parents want the baby to have my last name and his will surely want it to have his. Marriage after we're out of school has been part of conversation. So, it's possible that if we give it my name it will have to be legally changed. Then again these aren't for sure plans, that's still a year away. But I was wondering if anyone has given their baby the fathers name and regreted it or vise versa. Thanks.

Comments

[solyma.livejournal.com]

it sounds like you guys are under 18. even so, it is your baby together ... it seems like it should be your decision together.

[jonandjennsbaby.livejournal.com]

We're 17. And we're leaning toward his name I think. : )

[solyma.livejournal.com]

i think you guys should definitely do what you think is right!

[tropicalprncss.livejournal.com]

I'm not married to my sons father, although marriage is in our future. We gave our son his fathers last name. I just felt like it was the right thing for me to do. My parents were both upset that Mike and I chose to give the baby his last name. Jarrod was born on July 2nd, and my parents havnt said a word about it yet, so i think that they may have gotten over it. Hope that helped a little:)

[jonandjennsbaby.livejournal.com]

thanks.

[riotsaidmama.livejournal.com]

I'm engaged and gave bebs his last name. Works out fine, I don't see any reason to give it yours besides that it's what your parents want, and I think that's silly since it's YOUR kid.

[riotsaidmama.livejournal.com]

& for the record, I was 18 when she was born and my parents wanted her to have my last name too. :) Very similar situation.

[candicejade.livejournal.com]

I was nineteen when my baby was born and we had been talking about marriage and him moving here to be with us so I decided that I should give the baby his last name. If we weren't together I wouldn't have.

[willow-tree393.livejournal.com]

I regret this, but I gave the baby my last name instead of my fiance...never let your family or anyone tell you who the baby should have for the last name...my family told me that Nathan should have my last name...but their stuck up snobs anyways! Go with your gut...don't do what I did

[jonandjennsbaby.livejournal.com]

thanks.

[dingo83.livejournal.com]

Do what you think is right. If you defintely know you will be marrying him, whether right after school/the baby or much later, then you can give him the father's last name.

You could always hyphenate your last names for the baby and then when you get married just use his last name for the baby, or legally change it if you wanted. Or, when you get married, you could hyphenate your name to match the baby's, and it wouldn't be weird at all.

Right now, since you aren't married, the baby is a part of your family name AND his family name. It doesn't HAVE TO reflect both names, but you also shouldn't feel pressured to just reflect one name since you are both still separate individuals who contributed to making your baby. If your parents (just yours) are helping you out a lot with the pregnancy and will be helping you when you start to raise the baby, then they may feel hurt/betrayed when you give the baby his last name, but you have to do what you feel is right. If they are helping you out and being great about everything, maybe they feel they do deserve even a hyphenated last name until they are sure that you two will be married and happy in the future. Your parents are just looking out for you. Keep in mind that if you are unable to raise the baby and financially support yourself and the baby that your parents could be the ones legally adopting your baby and being the baby's guardian. I've seen that happen before. I don't know the specifics of your situation, and I don't want to scare you though.

I hope you understand what I meant. I'm not trying to make you feel bad in any way, I just wanted to offer the suggestion that you could hyphenate the baby's name, and even yours when you got married if that's something you would consider, or you could just give the baby his last name knowing you will be joining in marriage someday. Your parents may be hurt, but for now, you are responsible for the baby and the choices that will affect him/her.

[buttons8122.livejournal.com]

I'm giving my baby my last name but it was a mutual decision between me and the baby's father. We have no intention of getting married. The baby's father is my best friend we just didn't work out as a couple. But we had decided to give the baby his last name if it was a boy I considered using his name either way but we made a mutual decision to give her mine.

[swayinvelvet.livejournal.com]

hyphenate
then both families will be happy. like jones-smith or whatever your last names are. and a lot of things can happen in a year so stay strong. you're going through the best part of your life right now

[momentarygenius.livejournal.com]

i was 19 when I had my daughter. I gave her my then boyfriend (now husband)'s last name. We were sure he was the father and we knew we were going to get married eventually so it worked out best for us.

It's usually a good idea to check out what the laws are in your state as well, as some states require that you give the child your last name if you are not married, some states allow you to give the child a last name that isn't EITHER of your last names, some forbid you from using the father's name if he does not sign a ROP, etc...

[bailey6384.livejournal.com]

We gave our daughter my boyfriends last name. To me, a name is just a name, but it will be easier when we get married some day because I will be the only one who has to get a legal name change.

[space-monkey340.livejournal.com]

I was given my mother's last name when I was born and when she married my step-dad she changed it to his. Then they got divorced and she made me use my orginal last name but never actually changed it and I had to do it myself when I started college. Personally I would give my son my husband's last name even if we weren't married (or if I hadn't choosen to take his last name). It is kind of a pain to change a last name later, but it's not that bad. If it makes you feel better giving your child your last name until you are married, than do it. But don't feel bad about your decision, no matter what it is. Good Luck.