(no subject)

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

Is it uncouth to use a name that is also the name someone in your family, but that you don't see often? I mean not to name your baby after said person, but just give them the same name?

Here is the specific situation:
My fiance and I (not pregnant, but hopefully will be this time next year) have a REALLY hard time agreeing on girls' names (a fact some of you may know).
Recently, he told me he really likes the name Abigail, and the meaning "my father is joy".
However, I nixed it because my cousin's wife is Abby.

But, since it is so hard for us to agree on names (and I do like Abigail) and since we only see these cousins once a year (though Abby is the mum of our flower girl), would it still be tacky to use the name?

Comments

[bloomingtulip.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a big deal.

[mommy2miles.livejournal.com]

I don't think it would be tacky at all. It's a cousin's wife after all not a sibling or anything.

[super-bitch06.livejournal.com]

I don't think theres anything wrong with it. It's not like you'll be mixing the names up and they won't be seeing each other often. If you can come up with another name that you can agree on but is non-family, I'd go with that, just to be safe. But theres nothing really wrong with naming your baby Abigail.

[mao-kitsune.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a big deal either. My aunt used my name for her first daughter's middle name, and I see them maybe once a year, if at all. I was flattered that she liked the name.

[holly-megan.livejournal.com]

Agreed with all of the above. Plus, if the wife goes by Abby, and your daughter is Abigail, there is a distinction for when they're around each other...

[abandoneddream.livejournal.com]

I have been debating this one, also. My half-cousin, who I have only ever seen a few times, just named her son Jonah, which had been my favorite boy name. Since I rarely see her, it probably wouldn't be too confusing if I did use the name. However, I am afraid that people will think that I stole her son's name, lol.

I honestly don't know what to tell you, though! I am looking forward to reading the responses you get.

[ashadelic.livejournal.com]

Personally, I wouldnt do it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it in your situation, but when I'm choosing names I'm going to find one that's outside of my (ginormous) extended family. My brother and one second cousin are the only two people in our entire family that share a name and they are both Adam Lastname. It's no big deal, though, because the other Adam lives in Montana and we've seen him exactly twice in my entire life.

[septembergrrl.livejournal.com]

I would call your cousin and make sure they weren't planning on reusing the name, and then go for it if they weren't. If you only see them once a year and it's different generations, it wouldn't be confusing for anyone.

Will the last names be different?

[fluffyyduck.livejournal.com]

I have similar issues. I really like the name Camille, but my first cousin on my mother's side has that name. I almost never see her, I've only met her a few times in my life, but it would still feel weird using her name.

I also like the name Alyssa, but my sister-in-law has that name. I'm close to my brother and SIL and see them a couple times a year.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I thought it might be weird because Abigail is not that common of a name.
I know I'd be a weirded out if someone in my family named their child Aubrey.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

thanks. I'm just kinda worried that I'd be "taking" someone else's name.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

If you can come up with another name that you can agree on but is non-family, I'd go with that, just to be safe.
that's what I'd prefer to do, it's just so hard for us to agree lol!
And all the names we do agree on are similar sounding, so if we had more than one daughter we couldn't really use them anyway (Mia, Kaia, Leah) or it would be too rhymey.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

yeah if we used it for a middle name (which we might) I wouldn't feel bad about it at all.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

thanks for your perspective. We really only see them at x-mas, weddings, funerals etc.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

we would probably end up calling her Abby though...which may actually sound too close to my name (Aubrey)...wow I didn't think of that.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

Everyone seems to be saying that it's okay.
I do think it's a bit different if someone just named their child a name you wanted to use. Then it's still fresh in everyone's mind and people are more likely to think you "copied".
But it doesn't really matter what others think if you love the name and if you hardly ever see the other Jonah.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

I agree with you pretty much, I just wanted to see what the majority thought. If we absolutely can't agree on any other names I might use it but it makes me feel kinda bad and I don't want to feel bad about my future kid's name. We will probably use it for a middle name though because that's an entirely different thing in my eyes.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

that's a good point! I don't know if they're planning on having any more kids but they may want to use the name themselves.

The last names would be different.

I think Abigail is getting knocked into strict "middle name only" status.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

yeah, it's a tricky situation isn't it?

[quixocado.livejournal.com]

Our godson's brother's name is Klaus. I love the name Klaus and in this case it's not a problem unless people randomly die. However, I wouldn't name my kid after my sister, etc.

[smileygoldfish.livejournal.com]

It's not so bad. I've got two cousins with almost the same name; Wendy and WendiLee. Meaning that siblings named their kids similar names (plus they were born the same year). I always thought it was kind of funny, but its not so bad. The family got used to it.

Plus, in your situation the two people would be a lot farther removed. I say its okay.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

thanks

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

I see what you're saying.

[sherball.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's tacky at all.. but I feel your pain and confusion on what to do. I love the name Meaghan, but I have a cousin Megan, and I felt weird even using Meaghan as a middle name for my daughter. But then again I'm big on not having Jr's etc, and naming people after living people in a family. But that's just me :)