What makes a tradition?

[snoglobel.livejournal.com]

Reading the recent post on traditions got me thinking about some of our family's habits and then thinking about what makes a tradition.

Example:
My cousin's family has a history of naming girls with the middle name Anne. This is true of my cousin, my aunt, the grandma, and every woman as far back as they know to at least great-great grandma. Clearly this has been going on long enough to be a tradition.

However:
My family has a tradition of naming girls with L names and Boys with A names. This only goes back to me and my cousins. (so not my parents or aunts/uncles) Yet, my mom and aunts and everyone who started this tradition are pressuring me and my cousins to continue it. Since its only one generation, is it really a "tradition"?

What is your definition of a naming tradition? And do you feel obligated to stick with it?

Comments

[puzleves.livejournal.com]

My family somewhat started a tradition with middle names for girls. My sister, my mom and my grandma all have Synnøve as their middle names. My mom decided to give me my grandma's (on my fathers side) middle name.

I've been toying with the idea of keeping the middle name for our little one if we have a girl, but I don't think we've really decided 100% yet.

[so-there.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't. a middle name is one thing, it doesn't matter if you like it since you won't be using it much. but any tradition, especially a new one, that involves telling me what I can and can't pick for first names, I wouldn't even think of following.

right now I have 3 girls and 2 boys.. I guess my husband would get his Lydia despite my protests, and we'd finally go ahead with Anselm.. but the others wouldn't have names. there are hardly any usable boys names out there, so I'm pretty sure I would never find 2 that start with A. also, someone would have to answer as to why I couldn't use my all time favorite boy name jsut because it begins with L.

[mirhanda.livejournal.com]

You know, I think that relatives need to stay out of the naming decision. They had their babies and got to choose those names, they don't get to keep choosing. It's the decision of the PARENTS of the baby only. I won't interfere in my daughters' naming decisions. If they ask me about certain names, I'll give them my honest opinion, but I won't pressure them to name their kid one thing or the other.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. It's nobody's business to tell parents what to name their baby.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

I think if you want to use a name that is "traditional" it's up to you but grandparents don't have a say in the names of your children.
They already had their turn to name somebody.
There was so much drama over my son's Hebrew name before his Bris because certain people thought they should have been "consulted".
Pfft on that, my husband and I were so offended by the whole thing.
It recently came up AGAIN as relatives are visiting for Passover (son is 5 months now). And I was like, to my husband "really, REALLY?! This isn't over yet???" I almost started crying. Older relatives need to step the eff off. He's our damn kid.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

for the record he IS named after people but I guess not the right people.

[being-lola-star.livejournal.com]

Unless a parent wants to name their child "Supa Spekial" or something equally horrific.

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

Okay so I have been thinking more and more about this... I think I would call it a trend/theme if one generation did it, and a tradition if it was carried on.

If you like names that fit into the theme of the previous generation, go with it. But if you don't want to do it, then don't do it. I am assuming you're asking because you don't want to. I certainly wouldn't want someone else's rules applied to my baby. Even though there are plenty of lovely girls' names that start with L and boys' names that start with A, if it's not something you don't want to do, you shouldn't have to.

I know adult siblings named Monty, Michele, and Meredith (actually these are their middle names and all of their first names start with D but they don't use them).
Michele married Chip* and had Alexandra "Lexi" and Emily.
Meredith married Matt and had Mallory, Meagan, and Molly.
I think that both families have lovely names.

*Chip is a nickname but I can't remember his real name.

[rubberducky1467.livejournal.com]

Do what you like!

A tradition in my mother's family was to alternate naming a daughter either Barbara or Savilla. I can see why it happened - they were Amish and the Amish only use certain names. My mother (Barbara) broke the tradition. Thank goodness, too! Because I would have been Savilla! (I wouldn't mind giving either to a child as a middle name or something, but never as a first name)

[alibali.livejournal.com]

Oh, I understand this! My grandmother on my mom's side was upset that my daughter wasn't named after anyone in her family. We use the initial of a loved one who has passed away - no one on that side of the family (besides distant relatives that we weren't close with at all) has died in about 30 years (I'm 28.. you would think this is a good thing!). We got so much crap for it and then my nephew was born a few months later and also named for someone on my dad's side. My sister ended up giving him our great great grandfather's hebrew name (who we never knew) just to quiet that side of the family!

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

tl;dr

My son has two middle names. The first one is after my grandfather. The second is the english version of my son's Hebrew name.

We have this photo in our house of DH's Bubbe
Shaindel as a very little girl with her even littler brother, Pinchas. I never knew DH's Bubbe and her brother died during the Holocaust but we've always had this photo and we thought it would be nice to name our son after Pinchas.

WEEEELLL, there's a Pinchas on the other side of DH's family that he'd never heard of and why couldn't our son be named after him and why didn't we ask about names etc etc

We were like fine, he's named after allllll the Pinchases but you didn't have to demand it, you could have nicely suggested.

Where it got brought up again was DH's other Bubbe saying "Shaindel gets all the names!" (she is dead! don't be jealous!) and saying that our son should be named after her dead husband even though our 10 year old nephew already is.

arg arg arg!

[solitudete.livejournal.com]

I like the tradition of passing down middle names. It's traditional without being too intrusive-- having to choose between TWO letters for your child's name sounds way too restrictive to me, even if the tradition was several generations old. Maybe you and your cousins can continue the two-letter thing (why did they come up with that, by the way?) but for middle names only.

[kerijm27.livejournal.com]

Giving the first name of a parent or grandparent as the middle name of the child. This has been done in both of our families. Issac John (my great great grandpa), Floyd Issac (my great grandpa), Eugene Floyd (my grandpa), David Eugene (my dad), Eric David (my brother). I'm Keri Jean, so I actually got my grandfather's name/dad's middle name in the girl form. I think they ran out of options, as they gave my sister the middle name "Lorene" which is what people thought was my maternal grandmothers first name. It's actually Lorraine (which will be our childs middle or first name if we have a girl). My son is Maddox Clayton, and his father's name is Clayton. My daughter got her other grandmothers first name as a middle name because I refused to name her after my MIL LOL My niece has my mother's first name as her middle name. In the most recent generations, it's just been tradition to use a family name as a middle name, not necessarily the father or mother's first name as the childs middle name. So we're all messing things up now!