Parents...

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

How much influence did your parents have over what you named your child? Would you give your child a name that one or both or all of your parents hated? What if they hated it for a reason you disagreed with? (e.g. They told you that you shouldn't name your son Dylan because it was a girls' name, or that Jackson sounded like an old man's name, etc.) If you gave your child a name your parents hate, how did it work out? Do they call your child by your child's name, or did they immediately nickname him or her to get around it?

Comments

[forthemorrow.livejournal.com]

We tried to hold off on telling anyone as long as we could. We ended up telling around 20 weeks, gestation. I know, like a week after our gender scan. We held our ground but most of them (my parents & in laws) liked the name well enough, but they all had their own "ideas" on where we got the name -- none of which is actually how we chose the name, BTW.

Next time around, I expect more conflict. LOL!

[forthemorrow.livejournal.com]

And, re: conflict, we're just going to use the same approach, that being, this is the name we've chosen, end of story. Oh it helps if you, before breaking the news, say a bunch of ridiculous names. We chose Einstein and Darwin and Buddha (haha) before actually unveiling the real name. They are so relieved you didn't pick something absurd that any name looks awesome after that. : )

[alibali.livejournal.com]

It's a tradition in my family for us not to say the name out loud before the baby is born (we're Jewish). This also helps alleviates those worries because it's one thing to hate the name "John" (for example) but how can you hate the little baby named John that you are meeting?

The boy's name we picked is pretty common so I'm sure there will be no weirdness. The girl's name is rather unique but I'm sure they'll still like it or grow used to it.. And if they don't, hopefully they're smart enough not to tell a hormonal new mom :)

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

MY CHILD is my my parenting style. The name is just the first of many choices you will make that people will have an opinion about, are you going to do EVERYTHING your parent tells you to with your own child? Is parent disapproval going to stop you from raising them as you see fit? If you let them have say in the name you're setting yourself up to have your parents rule you even as a parent!

My mom didn't like my last baby's name, she said my daughter would hate me for it. Whatever. She calls her by her name, although she can't spell it properly, but she also knows that I'm going to do with my kids whatever I'm going to do with them, including naming them. And I'm not looking for her approval. She did try, though, with the first, I named him Elijah and called him Eli and she was like, his name is ELIJAH, NOT ELI. Uh, okay, whatever. Now I call him Elijah and she calls him Eli! However, my mom makes up stupid STUPID nicknames for my kids. My son honestly thought his name was Elijah Spootdoodles until he was 6.

[miss-tee.livejournal.com]

my parents didn't know my daughter's name until after she was born :)

[cremepuff.livejournal.com]

First of all, my husband and I plan on avoiding that problem DURING the pregnancy by keeping our name choices a secret until the birth. Then AFTER the birth, if our parents disapprove...then they disapprove. It's not their child.

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

are you going to do EVERYTHING your parent tells you to with your own child? Is parent disapproval going to stop you from raising them as you see fit? If you let them have say in the name you're setting yourself up to have your parents rule you even as a parent!

Um, woah, I'm actually not the one in this situation (not even pregnant and not planning to be for at least five years), but okay... Honestly I'd see it as more of a priorities thing. There are definitely more important issues with a lot less room for compromise than the child's name. It's ridiculous to assume that just because a parent-to-be caves on the name (of which there are hundreds of thousands to choose from), he'll/she'll/ey'll cave on everything else or even most other things.

[harinakshi.livejournal.com]

but what about the grandparents? They get say in the name, which is a huge thing, I mean, it's their name, they may try to do the same thing in other situations. You don't have kids so you obviously haven't had to fight for something you choose to do with your children, and I'm sure not everyone has the same problems, but, like, I had a fight with my mom over the type of applesauce I was going to buy my oldest (I was a single mom at the time) I spent the first 2/3 years of his life fighting her over "control" because she tried to act like his parent and she's not. If your parents say, I hate the name XYZ, you shouldn't name your baby that, and you say, okay, sorry you don't like it I'll pick something else, how is that going to translate into the rest of your parenting life?

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

I think that assumes that the name of the child is of very high importance to the parents and that the relationship with the parents is such that they can micromanage like that, and unless my parents can psychically sense what kind of applesauce my siblings are buying from across state lines... it's not. I can't speak for my older siblings and don't know what's going to happen with nephew-to-be's name, but I might change a name my mother didn't like. I definitely wouldn't/won't change my mind about other issues that I disagree (in some cases very strongly) with my mother on, though, like spanking, breast-feeding, private schools, etc. The name just isn't anywhere near as important to me as those other things.

[duck-deluxe.livejournal.com]

We told everyone with my first daughter right after we found out that she was a girl. My mom was the only one who had anything negative to say about her name (Norah). She went on and on about the baby hating us for giving her an ugly name blah blah blah. It made me cry because she was less than nice about it, but in the end, Norah is Norah and everyone calls her that - my mom included. But I've never been one to listen to my mom, lol.

My second daughter (Lucy)'s name was revealed after our anatomy scan as well and no one had a thing to say negatively. I guess my mom either liked her name or just learned to not say anything since she knew it would do no good anyhow.

As far as naming is concerned, unless there was some sort of dire reason to not use a name my/my husband's parents didn't like, I think I'd have to say "thanks for the opinion, but it doesn't much matter."

[kjerlandsen.livejournal.com]

I wanted to name my first Ezra and got a crap load of funny looks and rude comments the entire pregnancy. The week or 2 before he was born, I had given up and didn't have a name for him. He was born and he was clearly not an Ezra.

8 years later, we named our 2nd son Ezra. My mom and every one else seemed to get used to it. Which they didn't have a choice this time around because my husband was dead set on it. My MIL though, would constantly email me name suggestions. So obnoxious!

This time around, our boy name isn't loved by many, but we love it and that's all that matters.

[blissurrenderd.livejournal.com]

I name my kids. My parents wouldn't try to push anything on me. My crazy MIL has told me that my next girl needs to be named Nola for her dead sister (that neither I or my husband had ever met) but I already have a Naima Noelle so while I do actually like the name it's not going to happen.

[octobre09.livejournal.com]

You know I'm sitting here trying to remember my parent's (or anyone else for that matter) reaction when I announced the baby's name, but I really can't remember anything about it...I guess my mind was made up either way so I probably didn't pay much attention to their reaction...?

[malsywals.livejournal.com]

mine either! we kept the name of our daughter a secret from everyone until she was born.

[pleasure-past.livejournal.com]

Completely off-topic, but how do you pronounce Naima?

[coendou.livejournal.com]

We have not discussed names at all with any of our parents (aside from asking his mom for some family history so we'd know what names were in the family tree), and don't really plan to. I've told my sister a few names we like and things like that, but once we decide we aren't likely to tell anyone til the baby is here and it's a done deal. I've heard too many horror stories to do otherwise.

[kitchen-poet.livejournal.com]

It would matter to me. Probably more than it should. I'm an only child, and I'm really close to my parents, and they are the only grandparents my children would ever know. So, it would matter to me.

A name we like is Tirzah, and my dad thinks this is the weirdest, ugliest, most bizarre name in the universe. Now we're wavering on it. He also dislikes Benjamin, but it is my husband's favorite, so husband gets more sway.

I'm sort of thinking about being uber traditional (even though we aren't traditional people...) and keeping the name a secret until the baby is born. I honestly don't know if I could keep my mouth shut about it that long!

[blissurrenderd.livejournal.com]

nigh-E-ma, like the word naive

[spaceandclouds.livejournal.com]

I don't have children yet, nor will I be having them any time soon, but I happened to mention the names I liked some years ago and my mother absolutely hated one of them. In itself, that wouldn't stop me, but she came up with things she associated with that name, and now I don't like it anymore because I started associating them with the name as well!

On all other occasions, I don't care what they think, as long as me and my SO like the name =).

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I don't have children yet, nor will I for (probably) quite some time. I am lucky because my parents are pretty supportive of me with whatever I do. Occasionally, I will talk about names with my parents and even if they don't like a name, they're not discouraging about it. Even if I named my kid something like Twinkle Sparklepants, I think they would try to make the best of it while still respecting my style.

[kort-ni.livejournal.com]

this for sure

[laminy.livejournal.com]

I have no kids, and no plans for them for awhile, but I always drop a name on my parents to ask them what they think. My dad's opinions are always stronger than my mom's, but neither of them care either way. And I likely won't tell anyone until after the baby is born and it's officially decided upon.

[http://users.livejournal.com/--stillframe--/]

I don't currently have kids, and DH and I plan on waiting awhile yet before TTC. But I'm not sure I'd be able to keep my name ideas a secret. I just love names, and I'll be SO excited that I probably won't be able to keep it in. Haha.

Thankfully I think both of our families would be pretty accepting. They'd just be thankful for the birth of a grandchild. :)

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

Our daughter's first name was Brenna Rose. We often shortened it to Brenna so a lot of other people did too. My mom wanted to call her Rosie, which I don't love but which only came from a place of good intentions so I wouldn't have minded.

My MIL and GMIL claimed not to care for the name my SIL picked out, Alice, and talked about calling her Allie, but she's pretty much just called Alice (I like to call her Alligator :)).

I don't think their opinions have effected us too much. I was glad when his mother told me they wouldn't mind if we didn't have a little Albert Edward IV. Just glad to know it hopefully won't cause family drama if we don't use it. I think my mother didn't like Edith, a name we were considering with Brenna Rose, but a lot of people didn't care for it and that colored my opinion a bit. I think we didn't tell anyone we liked the name Brenna Rose until we were certain about it, even though she wasn't born yet. Not everyone was doing backflips over it, but no one poo-pooed it. I personally have difficulty mustering excitement even when I really like a name someone's come up with, so I try and bear that in mind when sharing my own favorites.

We've decided just to keep future baby names secret until birth (just tell people we're waiting til birth to come up with a name, not hold it over their heads like a big secret). We have our next daughter's name all picked out, and while quite lovely IMO, it's pretty different and I just know it will take people some getting used to. I'd rather present them with baby girl N___ than get their opinions before she's born. The only bit I'm going to share is with my mother because I want to make sure us using Jeremiah as a first or middle name for a boy wouldn't be too painful for her.