(no subject)

[wildsiren.livejournal.com]

This is not about a baby but I have a question related to names that has me in quite a pickle.





I am going to be changing my name around the beginning of 2009. Let me preface this by saying this is something I have been thinking about since was 8. I have never wanted to change my entire name, only the first. I chose the name I wanted a little over 5 years ago and have been meditating on it since then to make sure I don't make the wrong choice and that I am happy with it over time before I have it applied to myself permanently. (Much like one should do before having a tattoo).

Every time I have talked about this I've been asked, kindly and not so kindly, to explain my motives. They are as follows:
-I didn't even know I had a first name until I was around 7 or 8
-Upon learning my first name, i felt no attachment.
-When I found out later (12 or so)who i was named after, i felt nothing but embarrassment over it.(an 80s pop star my sister was in love with for all of about 2 weeks prior to my arrival - the pop star has since become queen of crackheads)
-My other sister claimed I was named after her best friend (who years later unfortunately ended up almost ruining my sister's marriage to her husband by having an affair with him and producing a child who will never really get to grow up with her dad)

So really, I just want to get rid of that part of my name and all of the negativity that goes along with it. I know I am myself and not those other people, and that my personality defines what my name means. And to be fair, my first name isn't ugly or anything. However, I would rather name myself something that feels like me, that I can be proud of rather than hope I don't get referred to as. I'd like to be putting my modified name to use as I transition from college to grad school.

The name I chose is of native american origin (as am I) and also the name of a celtic saint. What I need help with is the spelling. I can't decide.

___________Maegan Bell

Tallulah (the proper form of the Native America style)
Talula (simpler)
Tallula ( modernized of the celtic version Tuilelaith)
Tahlula
Talulah

Which do you think works the best with the rest of the name?

If you have any other alternative spellings, opinions, constructive criticism I welcome and appreciate it.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

(I know the bugsy malone connotations, and that Demi and Bruce's daughter was named that and changed it...these things really don't matter to me. Also, I've gotten a few really unpleasant reactions for wanting this name. If you dislike the name you are more than entitled to your own opinion, however please respect the fact that I chose something I love and have thought over for a long time, and while I will honor your thoughts, be aware it will not sway my decision if it happens to not be your cup of tea.)

: )